Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked home and found a massive branch had fallen into my parking space. My first thought, "Thank God my car wasn't hit!" My second thought, "Where's my car?" FML
Today, I was driving behind a tall truck when it drove through some overhanging branches. Suddenly, a huge branch fell on top of my car, leaving it scratched all over and with several dents in the roof. FML
Today, I went to the mall and couldn't find a parking spot. After circling around for 20 minutes, I finally saw a shaded spot in the uncovered parking lot area under a tree. It turns out, I'd parked under a coconut tree. I could tell from the coconut planted into my hood. FML
Today, I drove to a party after getting my car back from the shop. A thunderstorm started as I made my way there and upon arriving, the power went out. The guests decided to watch the storm from the front windows when someone mentioned how funny it would be if a tree fell on my car. Seconds later, one did. FML
Today, the tree that my neighbors have neglected to cut down fell on my car. They claim that by law, they aren't responsible and don't have to pay for it. FML
Today, a storm dropped a tree across my road. I would have moved it with my tractor, but there was a tree on that too. FML
Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML
Today, I was tossing my car keys into the air and catching them. I threw them up really high, only to have them land in the branches of the palm tree outside my door, at the very top. FML
Today, I was in a parking lot, doing donuts in my dad's car to rizz some baddies. It was going great until some dumbass got in the way and got launched twenty feet. I panicked, lost control of the car, and smashed into a decorative tree. FML
Today, it was a VERY windy day. A tree blew over and landed on my car, obliterating the windows, and totalling it. I only bought it yesterday. FML
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Top comments
xoky720 6
It's Australia, you dipwad
AholeCop 11
Today was my first day at my new job of being an oak tree. I dropped a branch on someone's new car. FML
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Comments (77)
blayzin 3
Son of a birch...
kozzard 17
Hay, leaf the poor tree alimb. Wood it evergreen do to yew?
nina21194 12
You can be better protected from mayhem....like me
Kristoffer 35
A few months ago, we were storing a car for a friend in town. We had it parked on a trailer under a tree. One day I looked up and said "I don't like the look of that branch. If it falls, it'll crush the car." So the next day we just pushed the car off the trailer onto the ground. The next morning we went out and the branch was laying in pieces across the trailer (the trailer was strong enough to survive the impact).
BjgUsername 12
Like a good neighbor state farm is there
glki 7
What a generous tree.
KiddNYC1O 22
You know, sun/water spots are easier to remove than dents and twisted metal...
journeytotheend 16
Don't **** with oak trees
danial1214 21
Don't blame the tree it was those damn australian squirells
doubleea 3
We have squirrels now!?
buckdharma 38
I just want to know one thing. If a tree falls on your new car and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound ?
PsychoBitch666 8
Prevent from heating? You lucky bastard. Tomorrow it'll be nearly one meter snow here in Norway.
someguy314159265 15
OP is in Australia, where it is currently summer. They already had their winter.