Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked home and found a massive branch had fallen into my parking space. My first thought, "Thank God my car wasn't hit!" My second thought, "Where's my car?" FML
Today, I was driving behind a tall truck when it drove through some overhanging branches. Suddenly, a huge branch fell on top of my car, leaving it scratched all over and with several dents in the roof. FML
Today, I went to the mall and couldn't find a parking spot. After circling around for 20 minutes, I finally saw a shaded spot in the uncovered parking lot area under a tree. It turns out, I'd parked under a coconut tree. I could tell from the coconut planted into my hood. FML
Today, I drove to a party after getting my car back from the shop. A thunderstorm started as I made my way there and upon arriving, the power went out. The guests decided to watch the storm from the front windows when someone mentioned how funny it would be if a tree fell on my car. Seconds later, one did. FML
Today, the tree that my neighbors have neglected to cut down fell on my car. They claim that by law, they aren't responsible and don't have to pay for it. FML
Today, a storm dropped a tree across my road. I would have moved it with my tractor, but there was a tree on that too. FML
Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML
Today, I was tossing my car keys into the air and catching them. I threw them up really high, only to have them land in the branches of the palm tree outside my door, at the very top. FML
Today, I was in a parking lot, doing donuts in my dad's car to rizz some baddies. It was going great until some dumbass got in the way and got launched twenty feet. I panicked, lost control of the car, and smashed into a decorative tree. FML
Today, it was a VERY windy day. A tree blew over and landed on my car, obliterating the windows, and totalling it. I only bought it yesterday. FML
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Top comments
xoky720 6
It's Australia, you dipwad
AholeCop 11
Today was my first day at my new job of being an oak tree. I dropped a branch on someone's new car. FML
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Comments (77)
HortonThelephant 15
You shall not pass! (sorry)
dixiefoxx 22
I don't think the oak tree likes your car that much
mercsl65 7
Why don't you fix your car? Easy solution.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Maybe it's the fact that it happened in the first place? It's a new car, I'm sure OP doesn't want to have to repair it already.
dead247 13
I don't think anyone wants to repair there car, ever.
SenselessPattern 12
When Mayhem strikes, are you covered? That's Allstate's stand. Are you in good hands?
CorruptAngel920 18
"Shaky shaky. Shaky shaky shaky shaky" *tree branch snaps*
abrookec2011 14
I totally heard his voice in my head while reading this.
LolPieRofl 11
Mayhem is everywhere. Call Allstate.
smallshaft 10
Better than bird shit. If you let bird shit stay too long it can mess up your paint.
ksks1234 33
Please tell me that is sarcasm. I am pretty sure a branch will mess the paint up also.
smallshaft 10
Yes it was sarcasm. Do we really need a sarcasm button?
RedPillSucks 33
Big tree bird strikes again
KaskStunter 4
At least now you will always remember your car as new and shiny. You won't get to experience its bad days.
perdix 31
If you listened to "The Trees" by Rush, you'd know not to **** with the oaks. You'd park under a whiny maple tree instead.
mikeymayhem_87 15
Take it as a sign that the new car you got was not meant to be yours. Now you can find the car the was meant to be! :p
crazytwinsmom 25
I can't stand the heat. But parking under trees risks bird poop too. Just put up a window shade and roll down the windows a little. You can also get a solar powered vent that you put in your car window that sucks the hot air out.