Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message while we were having sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML
Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him about two minutes after, and he'd already fallen asleep. FML
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Top comments
cristiannnnnnnnn 0
he's like tea, hot n steamy done in two minutes
LemonStarship 5
He must of been doing the Swedish helicopter for those 2 minutes.
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Comments (65)
fallenxchick 0
lol
KamilleBlack 3
Girl, you need a new boyfriend. I'm a virgin and I think 2 minutes is bull shit! WTF. I mean, my friend says that her and her BF get at if for hours. And by "for hours" I literally me 4 hours. ;)
pinto502 0
...
fluorescentadole_fml 8
45 my sentiment exactly
MoroseMoose 47
No. You don't dump somebody because they didn't last very long in bed (as far as we know, just the one time). Work on it with them.
TiniMartini 0
haha me n my bf last for a half hour and he never complains
omghehehe 0
2 minutes!!! Sighh, is this an epidemic or were you sleeping with my ex? LOL. Good luck with that :/
perdix 31
No, that's pretty normal. That is why when you do find a guy who lasts longer than that, you should be grateful and make him a sammich. I like peanut butter.
omghehehe 0
hahaha. Peanut butter, easy to please! I bet your wife has a pantry full of creamy peanut butter and pre-made sandwiches in the fridge :D "Good boy (pat on the head), have another sandwich. You deserve banana too tonight!" lol No.........No........No........ :O It can't be true. Noooooooooo, by whose standards? Not mine, that's for sure. Wait a minute, is that part of the reason why most women can't have orgasms during sex? Hmmm.... (nightmares flashing through my head) :|
perdix 31
She used to stockpile peanut butter sandwiches in the fridge, but the rate at which I was earning them meant that she had to toss a lot of them out. Do you know what happens to peanut butter sandwiches if you leave them in the cold and dark for a long time? They become crusty, stale, moldy, limp and nasty-tasting. Good metaphor, huh? I don't know how you do your research, but women who complain about their men lasting two minutes (or less) seem to dominate. Funnily, research has shown that people like to have intercourse from 7 to 13 minutes. Back in the day when control issues plagued me, I was always good for a second try that would last a good long time. If you were nice to me, a third. And if I hadn't had sex for a long time, a fourth!
omghehehe 0
Hey, now that's a different story! Being male and having multiple orgasms are a plus!!! Hand the man a triple decker sandwich!!
withered 30
No it is not normal. It is not normal to be selfish and don't care about your partner's pleasure. Even worse when you are so horrible at sex and boast about it. No sex is better than horrible sex. Actually, I don't think she should count those 2 min as sex. Not even worth taking your clothes off.
FilthMerchant 0
You can't look at it in black and white terms like it's 'his fault' that he lasts two minutes. If it is problems with stamina, then that isn't his fault, he is just saddled with a problem that he needs to fix. This does become YOUR FAULT if you BERATE or SHAME him for it. On the other hand, if he just wants it over and done with, maybe you should think about giving him a reason to work to please you? Do you work to please him? Sex is a two-way street. To the above posting about it being cheating - it is CLEARLY a sarcastic comment
sorrowevicteon 9
I understand your reasoning. My girl thinks it's it's a one way street... And I have to drive... Every time... For hours...
withered 30
Exactly. Because it isn't a one way street he should do something about him being horrible in bed. Apart from being so ignorant he brags about unsatisfying his partner.
ANONYMOUS89282 0
THE SECOND TIME I HAD SEX I LASTED A HOUR AND SHE GOT OFF MULTIPLE TIMES AND WENT ON FOR THE NEXT TWO DAYS HOW HER LEGS HURT IM FIFTEEN YEARS OLD I BEAT HIM FHL.
samie_Rawr 0
Wow. people are saying you're a lousy lay? if you got him to go that fast then it must mean you're good. Lol stupid people.
pomlaos 0
Maybe his texting the wrong person :P
dstroyr0153 0
maybe he wuz bein sarcastic?
this_fuckin_sux 0
i know who u are and im really sorry for u he wuz an ass for doin that to u