Today, after drunk texting a girl the night before, I sent her a message saying I was sorry for everything I said. All she could say back? "Those were some of the most normal drunk texts I have ever read. I'd hate to see how boring you'd be sober." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML
Today, I got this beautiful girl's number at a bar. After the night was over, I was pretty drunk and sent too many drunk Snapchats. When I'd sobered up, I deleted them. She asked why I deleted them, so I said because I was drunk and didn't remember what I sent. She hasn't messaged me back since. FML
Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML
Today, the girl I like sent me a Facebook message telling me how the message I left on her phone was one of the funniest drunk dials she's ever gotten. I'm debating whether or not I should tell her that I don't drink. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend of three and a half years a text message spilling my heart out, saying I'll love him forever, and how much I appreciate him in my life, that I want to be the mother of his children, etc. His text back to me? "Are you drunk?!?" FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, slightly drunk from a head-frazzle of a night out from hell, I sent a text meant for my friend recounting the terrible date I'd just been on… to the date himself. He replied with, "I know, right?" FML
Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML
Today, I told my crush that I liked her a lot. She told me not to message her when I'm drunk. FML
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Top comments
nofxtime 0
You have apparently have a clear mind when you are drunk? Dude don't feel bad, that is like a superpower!
dramatay 0
BURN!!!!
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Comments (69)
Wet_Dream 0
hit it! with a stick
IamSpartacus 0
This girl sounds like an annoying person...
IC4M3R0NI 0
Nova scotia RULES!!!! (I LIVE THERE)
phatdaddy 0
I want to know what you said. Probably something like: "Hey, you should come to O'Malley's. The band is pretty decent." "I think your ex is here with his brother. He got pretty fat." "I mean your ex, not his brother." "The Dow went up 250 points today. I'm pretty excited about that." "How's your mom doing? She still have that tumor?" and so on...
whatsisface 0
what were you saying? drink tests? what the hell?
gurlucrazy 0
im siding with the chick because the fml was boring as hell
angel55033 12
she sounds like a party *****
thatguynamedsky 32
ha, same thing happened to me high off my ass the other day