Today, I got this beautiful girl's number at a bar. After the night was over, I was pretty drunk and sent too many drunk Snapchats. When I'd sobered up, I deleted them. She asked why I deleted them, so I said because I was drunk and didn't remember what I sent. She hasn't messaged me back since. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML
Today, these cute girls approached me and asked me to take a picture of them. One girl asked me if I could send it to her because her phone had died. I was excited to have her number, but it turns out that she deleted the message after she sent the picture to herself. FML
Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML
Today, after drunk texting a girl the night before, I sent her a message saying I was sorry for everything I said. All she could say back? "Those were some of the most normal drunk texts I have ever read. I'd hate to see how boring you'd be sober." FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Are you sure she was beautiful, or were you wearing beer goggles? Alcohol makes everyone more attractive -- the drinker and everyone they behold.
Plop 17
Remember kids: there are things in life you should never do while drunk, namely driving, texting, swimming and bungee-jumping. Drunk sex is awesome though.
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Comments (3)
Plop 17
Remember kids: there are things in life you should never do while drunk, namely driving, texting, swimming and bungee-jumping. Drunk sex is awesome though.
core01 30
Whiskey dick's a thing, man
1known 34
Drunk sex is a good path to abuse. Remember kids, if you see that someone is drunk and you want sex with him/her, even if (s)he says yes, it is a big, a huge NO! Consent is no joke and when drunk, you can’t give a proper consent. (Yeah I know I ruin the fun, but this is not a joke, you don’t want to become a rapist).
Plop 17
Consensual, reasonably drunk sex with someone you trust. I should've been clearer.
RichardPencil 32
Are you sure she was beautiful, or were you wearing beer goggles? Alcohol makes everyone more attractive -- the drinker and everyone they behold.
Marcella1016 32
How does Snapchat work? Can you not see your own messages after you’ve sent them??