Today, I was diagnosed with hyperosmia, a strong sense of smell and extreme repulsion to certain scents. Unfortunately, one of my biggest aversions is the smell of my own vagina. Even the smallest hint makes me dry heave. I wish I could have it removed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I have a bacteria causing me to smell bad. For the last three years, strangers would say that I stink, I thought it was because I'm a smoker and they could smell cigarettes from my clothes, only to find out that people could smell my vagina through my pants. FML
Today, my doctor informed me that my severe body odor has no cure, no treatments, and is caused by… eating food. Not any specific food, just food. So either I can stop eating entirely, or I can smell like rotting fish in an outhouse. FML
Today, my natural body odor has gotten so bad that despite wearing 20 swipes of men’s deodorant under each armpit and taking three showers a day with an entire bottle of body wash, I still smell like a cross between onions and hot garbage. I’m a woman. FML
Today, I went over to my friend’s house while she was sick. In order to show me how bad her sense of smell was, she took a handful of VapoRub and rubbed it all over and inside of my nose then said, “Can you smell that? I can’t.” Yes, I can. But I can also feel my nostrils burning. FML
Today, and ever since I got pregnant, I hate how my husband smells. I hate his perfume, his toothpaste, his body odor, everything. When I tell him, he feels offended. I just want a hygienic man to be a little less hygienic, is that too much to ask? FML
Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend only gets horny on her period. Unfortunately, she also gets extremely gassy, so I get to smell her vile farts the entire time. I think this relationship is turning me asexual. FML
Today, I got aroused by the vanilla scent from an unused trash bag. FML
Today, like every month, I'm able to tell when my period is going to come, down to the exact day. It becomes increasingly smelly, even before I've started, to the point where everyone around me can barely stand it. I can't do anything to get rid of the stench before it's actually started. FML
Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated, "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML
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Top comments
Charlie Given 28
It may sound like a weird option but try giving yourself some nasal allergies. I have overly sensitive hearing and I intentionally avoid taking my allergy medicine just so my ears are slightly plugged and basically work normally instead of being able to hear everything constantly.
RichardPencil 32
Warning: Putting food in your hoo-hah is not advised.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
Are you a contortionist? If so, quit doing that. Otherwise, wash that stanky hoo-hah!
Charlie Given 28
It may sound like a weird option but try giving yourself some nasal allergies. I have overly sensitive hearing and I intentionally avoid taking my allergy medicine just so my ears are slightly plugged and basically work normally instead of being able to hear everything constantly.
cacheson 42
Some foods will give your genitals a different smell, do some research and see if you can change up your diet.
RichardPencil 32
Warning: Putting food in your hoo-hah is not advised.
Plop 17
Does that include cucumbers?
emmalou 19
isn't there a way to change the pH levels?