Today, after drunk texting a girl the night before, I sent her a message saying I was sorry for everything I said. All she could say back? "Those were some of the most normal drunk texts I have ever read. I'd hate to see how boring you'd be sober." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML
Today, I got this beautiful girl's number at a bar. After the night was over, I was pretty drunk and sent too many drunk Snapchats. When I'd sobered up, I deleted them. She asked why I deleted them, so I said because I was drunk and didn't remember what I sent. She hasn't messaged me back since. FML
Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML
Today, the girl I like sent me a Facebook message telling me how the message I left on her phone was one of the funniest drunk dials she's ever gotten. I'm debating whether or not I should tell her that I don't drink. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend of three and a half years a text message spilling my heart out, saying I'll love him forever, and how much I appreciate him in my life, that I want to be the mother of his children, etc. His text back to me? "Are you drunk?!?" FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, slightly drunk from a head-frazzle of a night out from hell, I sent a text meant for my friend recounting the terrible date I'd just been on… to the date himself. He replied with, "I know, right?" FML
Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML
Today, I told my crush that I liked her a lot. She told me not to message her when I'm drunk. FML
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Top comments
nofxtime 0
You have apparently have a clear mind when you are drunk? Dude don't feel bad, that is like a superpower!
dramatay 0
BURN!!!!
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Comments (69)
zeppzo4 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I got first. Bow down to me.
Sun_Kissed18 25
*slaps* :) hows that?
usa3803 0
FIRST 11!11!111!ONE111!!1!11 THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE EVER BEEN FIRST!!11!!11!1 I WoUlD LikE 2 tHx MyzZZZ cATT11111!!!1!!1!ONE!!!!11!
pwnrzero 0
*slaps him* start a slap chain :P
seanreddog 4
Praise the messiah!!! You must be Barack Obama.
Starchild21 3
*slap* for saying Barack is the messiah _________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
Skarvig 0
*slap* slaped for saying he isn't.
Intoxicunt 6
*backhand for saying any regular human being is the "messiah", especially Barack*
seanreddog 4
Bitchslap for not saying Jesus Christ is the messiah.
Starchild21 3
*pimpslap* for confusing Jesus with Barack ___________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
seanreddog 4
Dickslap for saying Barack Obama is any normal person. He's black! Uh, I mean, he's president!
Intoxicunt 6
All this slapping, especially the dickslap, is getting hot.
IgniteMe28 0
lmaooooo i enjoyed reading this chain of comments - they were better than the FML :)
RJB 0
backhand slap and cane slap* Yo bitch I did not let you off the leash!
metakingt 0
Op the girl was right. Your sober fml was out done by the slap chain.
Chazlol 7
Lmaoo. (y)
mushoo_fml 0
*Falcon slap!*
phatdaddy 0
*pimpslap* for not understanding how someone could confuse Barack for Jesus. They all look alike, anyway... *runs away*
Kimitte 1
How about you bow down to my middle finger?
Kimbug 0
haha. wait, how is that bad?
youreanidiot 0
he got burned?
Coladex 0
Rofl, FYL. She can't say how you are by just reading some texts.
aero_fml 0
Be more exciting...?
dramatay 0
BURN!!!!
bteundeadmidget 5
Apply Luke warm water to the burned area
xoluvinshayxo 0
and you should tell her.. "i'd love 2 see how fun you are sober(;"
netfreak 0
true story
iain08 2
YDI for being a virgin
Gisellee 0
HAHAHAHHA i agree
Witchcraft_fml 5
*yawn* Sorry, OP, you're so boring that I fell asleep reading this.
nofxtime 0
You have apparently have a clear mind when you are drunk? Dude don't feel bad, that is like a superpower!
Pointy130 0
Yeah really. "Today, I found out I'm not an idiot when I'm drunk. FML."