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Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, I spent the night with my guy, who I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back, he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML
Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML
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Top comments
TransitionCovert 6
He is a keeper
CVeNgineer 0
Well he's got a point..
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Comments (181)
Calyx_fml 22
I've always wanted to see a porno where the performers played classical music (for real) while having sex. Asia Carerra is a classical pianist. I made that request on her web forum a long time ago and apparently she did it! But I never saw it.
Webslinger66 10
That's legit actually
DocBastard 40
The reason you don't see intellectual conversation in **** is because it isn't arousing for most people. Mrs. Bastard and I, on the other hand, like to discuss quantum mechanics or string theory during sex.
brianfantana32 10
You too must be really happy together Doc
RedPillSucks 33
Lemme guess. String theory is where you string her along during foreplay. Quantum Mechanics means that sometimes you "fix" her, and sometime you dont? FearShrine - My camera is already hidden there, but I wont tell Doc where.
FalconCrunch 4
Does she theorize about your string-like penis?
ILEIKGURLS 0
This is off topic doc, but I saw your profile picture on your blog.
coltsrock37 15
He's trying to stimulate your senses:)
Joshawott 21
Good point.
brianjman14 23
Granite?
brianjman14 23
Stupid iPhone! I commanded you to reply to #27!
CultureChic 14
**** stars don't have the mental capacity to be intellectual. That's why they're **** stars.
Kittenfluff 2
Not necessarily true. For a lot of people, it's a nice way to make some extra money on the side. There's even students using what they make to pay their way through college and grad school. It's kinda like stripping; you don't need a terrible of mental capacity to do it, but you can have plenty of intellectual capacity outside of what's shown in the video. Sorry, had to defend the **** stars there.
desireev 18
Wow.. That's pretty messed up.. Just like all "strippers" are nasty, huh?? I got news for ya! That is a terrible assumption to assume that all **** stars are dumb! Just like it's terrible to assume all "strippers" are nasty! I danced, NOT stripped, but DANCED, for years. I have a child with the only man I have ever slept with. And I am a very respected person in the town I live in. And being in that business, I know some girls who are also adult film actresses. One of them is in her 8th year of schooling to become an OB/GYN. So no.. **** stars are not dumb.. Just like "strippers" aren't nasty! :)
ladyLALAA 29
So you were a "dancer" at 17? This hardly seems legal..
bennie2789 0
I love strippers and **** stars very much
Ballin8864 4
Says the nasty old guy..0.o
desireev 18
Actually, yes.. As illegal as it was. I started dancing a month and a half before I turned 18. I needed the money really badly. The owner of the club knew about it and would let me dance as long as I didn't go topless. Since I was turning 18 shortly anyway. And I was legally emancipated. So my parents couldn't say much about it at all. I also danced while I was pregnant till I was 6 months along. Then went back to work when my son was 2 months old. So yes.. I did dance when I was 17. It was very illegal. Luckily, the owner understood my situation and made me prove it by showing identification, birth cert., and legal papers showing the validity of my emancipation. But, like I said, I wasn't allowed to go topless until I turned 18. Which was only a short amount of time away from the time I started working for the club..
thrAsHeRr9081 16
Since when is 27 old? Haha
Dracoboxer357 36
36, I'm an engineer, play chess, love all forms of intellectual challenges and puzzles, and I was going to become a stripper a couple of years back, not because I was desperate for money, but more to prove to myself that I was a lot more comfortable in my skin than I once was. I was still heavier than I wanted to be then so I didn't, and if I were to do that now, my wife would murder me, lol! :D I don't consider myself mentally inferior nor feel I am lacking compared to others. Stereo typing brains against beauty, is showing a lack of knowledge on the topic in question. :) And 53, I'm 32 yrs old and enjoy **** with my wife. Would you consider me nasty? :) (Teasing you, I'm not actually concerned if you do, it's all good.) :)
XanderJayNix 17
I didn't see her say anything about age? Unless she edited it?
thrAsHeRr9081 16
I was referring to 53.
ladyLALAA 29
Yeah babes, no judgement at all, it really was just a question :). I know a lot of girls who've done it. Do what you need to get by I say, the world takes all sorts and who doesn't love boobs!
MrEatYourDog 14
#40/57 you do realise no one gives a shit?
Mkbitch 2
That's not cool at all.
beastiefish 6
That is awesome.
bennie2789 0
UThat's weird if it were me the last thing I want to heir is u reciting a book for me I wanna listen to u moan and talk dirty not read very weird in my book good luck with that though haha