Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, I spent the night with my guy, who I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back, he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML
Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TransitionCovert 6
He is a keeper
CVeNgineer 0
Well he's got a point..
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (181)
zoetta 0
Talk about boring
pyxie_fml 2
That's because if you do it right, words are unnecessary...
pinkpigelemonk 3
I love your boyfriend XD
katya_21 6
Your boyfriend is amazing!
SheepShoop_fml 20
That's awesome! You definitely ought to give it a try, being silly during sex really does make it more fun.
Cryptic_Equinox 0
-cough- H.P. Make Lovecraft? Eh? Eh? ..i'm..i'm sorry... That was awful.. I know..
Bhuddaking 0
I frequently enjoy a brief history of time whilst doing it doggy style, the back makes a perfect table
tswizz 13
YDI, purely because you used the term "sexing it up"
greysfox 6
OP commented the FML folks edited that in instead of "having sex for the first time with my bf" - makes sense in a way, it causes more attention
tswizz 13
Then FHL because now she sounds like an idiot But honestly, I don't care about what you think happened
Death_the_Kidd 5
Hey, at least he's up for trying new things.
loverockstar17 4
well thats a turn off and a half... ruining the moment much lol