Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the middle of enjoying a really good book while in a waiting room. Someone saw what I was reading and thought it would be cool if she leaned over and told me everything that happens. FML
Today, I was in the romantic section of a book store making fun of the titles. Thinking my friend was behind me, I read in a sexy voice, “Sleeping with a Stranger” and turned to laugh only to find the 70-year-old store manager smiling and winking at me. FML
Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML
Today, I went to the library to bring back some books, I walked up to the counter and the librarian turned to me and said "What can I do for you young man?" I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
Today, I saw a cute guy at the coffee shop reading a book. Wanting to be friendly, I smiled as I approached and asked what he was reading. He returned the smile and said, "Minding your damn business, by Fuck Off." FML
Today, while I was shopping at a store with my friend, I noticed a cute girl smiling at us. My friend said, "She's all yours," and walked away. When I approached her, she asked me if my friend was single. FML
Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
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Top comments
lonkite101 14
I wonder what went through her mind when she sees a guy start walking up to her with a sex positions book...0.o
cholobear21 6
You deserve it for not looking at the cover. Rookie mistake.
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Comments (160)
HelloChrissy 9
1st! Yes!
MidnaLink 35
Do you honestly know how overrated that is?
juststoptalking 6
Bitch
GVirdi 11
Did you just have an ******?
HelloChrissy 9
Nah, I was just excited to be the 1st one to comment on an FML for the 1st time. :)
HelloChrissy 9
Gosh, you guys don't have to be suck jerks about it. :(
The_Thinker 18
#8 - No, I believe she just had what should be coined a "firstgasm".
ManInTheMachine 20
You're new here, so let me fill you in on something; nobody here likes the person that screams "first!!!!1!1!". It makes them look like an idiot with nothing better to do with their life. The comments section is for commenting about the FML, not little pats on the back for meaningless accomplishments. Just so you know for next time.
Forlorn420 9
28- I like your term. It needs to be used from now on lol. Also, no excuses for being a douche who yells first.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
17- I just had my very first first comment on the post about the car being stolen four hours after someone bought it. I was freaking excited, too. But I still made a relevant comment. (:
Death_Hoe_Inn 10
The reason everybody is being mean is because it's a waste of a comment
lotrgeek 10
56- I don't know, but it sounds really dirty! Perhaps a new technique I could use??
p3mguin 7
Lol
starwind3438 9
I take out Sirin. Sirin uses Comment Deletion. Comment Deletion is supper effective.
StrangeDuckling 9
You guys don't have to be complete assholes about it! She didn't know that people are total jerks when someone does that! You could obviously tell that she's new, so you could have told her politely! And yelling "Yay! 1st!" or whatever DOES NOT make you look like an idiot! Yelling "Oh did you have an ******!" or "Firstgasm!'' does make you an idiot, an immature idiot! I know that I'm going to get thumbed down, but it's only because you know I'm right. You guys were being dicks and now you don't want to admit it, I understand! But please GROW UP and be nice!
Cartera 10
Still makes her look like an absolute Tool Shed McGee though.
gracehi 33
You will also experience your first moderation. Another exciting accomplishment!
HelloChrissy 9
Thanks for sticking up for me. In some of the past ones people were always writing "first" and stuff. I thought it was like a contest to see who commented first.
NagatoPain 4
StrangeDuckling and HelloChrissy please refrain yourselves from being morons on the FML Planet! Thanks!
SkoomaKi 28
#90 - Machine was being nice about it. Oh and being jerks how? She contributed absolutely nothing to the community. Saying "first" is immature and rather annoying. I'm sure about every commenter agrees. StrangeDuckling, I've also noticed a lot of your comments are quite bad, argumentative and you seem up your own ass. So please do tell how everyone and I are immature, dicks, jerks and and idiots .
SkoomaKi 28
^Disregard that extra *and*
1337Anonymous911 3
98 - It is a contest; you have won! Message me your name, address, and Social security so I can send you the prize. :) congrats!!!11oneone
StrangeDuckling 9
100, and 102, And exactly how is dogging someone out for being first being smart and contributing to the "FML Community"? When I bitch, I don't usually bitch at PEOPLE, except for on this, because well, if you can I can. Also, I bitch about ethics and about the stupid things people do... So... Thanks! ^_^ P.S.: I also thought Machine was kind of nice too
SkoomaKi 28
Now first of all little missy I did not say it was smart to "dog" someone out. However if does contribute as it makes an example of her. Other commenters who want to tell everyone they're "first" will reframe to do so, as they know thumbs down and nice or harsh replies will follow. Now there is nothing left to discuss. Shows over folks.
isaiaah 6
No need to be assholes about it. You all see someone say something, whether it was stupid or not, and you take the opportunity for a little joke just because you THINK it would be funny to make jokes about another person who obviously had no intentions of being annoying. If anyone is being a moron on the "FML planet" it's all of you! I think it's time for you guys to get a life.
StrangeDuckling 9
Thank you Isaiaah! Sorry guys if I sounded ignorant!
lolipop1234_fml 7
27- nearly everyone on FML is like this... Your better off just ignoring them. They think there opinion is the only right one so just leave them to it. :)
lolipop1234_fml 7
50- is there a limit on the amount of comments?
Nightwing98 22
Yes
The_Thinker 18
#90 and #98 - Yelling “Yay, 1st!“ is an incredibly immature thing to do here. What are you, a toddler? It‘s obviously not some childish contest, this is the internet; obviously you will get pounced on. And I don‘t know where in God‘s name you saw us “yell“ anything; we made sarcastic statements, as is expected on FML. I really don‘t see how that qualifies to label us as jerks. Please grow up and realise that none of us are children here. There‘s a difference between being a genuine asshole, and just insulting others because you‘re inevitably butt-hurt. And judging from your argument capabilities, heaven forbid you‘re planning to become a legal practitioner.
lonkite101 14
I wonder what went through her mind when she sees a guy start walking up to her with a sex positions book...0.o
MibInwalo 0
Her smiling was OP's cue to smile back, wink, and pull a condom out of his pocket.
chokefrantic 9
19- I wish I could thumb your comment up more than once.
SloppyFlamingo 4
She didn't smile? O.o
cjack188 13
Girl: Stop, don't touch me there! This is my private square! R-A-P-E, don't do it!!!!!
TheVelocirabbit 10
58-Just. Just no.
StrangeDuckling 9
You said that COMPLETELY wrong!!! It goes: "No, No, Don't touch me there! These are my No-No Squares!! R-A-P-E! Get your hands away from me!!"
Tarah2112 3
I'm new lol what exactly is OP? :)
Almandine 7
Original poster.
owo_fml 9
Optimus Prime
FMLoverAgain 7
Offending party
FrostHeart 36
Oreos Please
XtraEzeee 8
Outstanding Penis
l23VIVE 17
Overactive Pterodactyl
Cydadel 0
Old People. It's old people
jellycorn 13
Obese politician
themarshal_fml 6
Overdosed Penguin
Daiyuki 5
Optimus Prime is still the best
NoFeet 4
Overrated Platypus
rin142 12
Original Poster, lol
MyChemicalSmosh 4
153 you must be new too. It's what 106 said, Optimus Prime.
s15c 9
Odious pudding
ImanAzol 4
He smiled, not her.
BradTheBrony 19
Well it's simple, OP stands fo- C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER. Well. ****.
superguydude200 5
Lol everyone who posted something false got thumbed up, but the person who posted the real meaning got thumbed down. Funny how it works
cholobear21 6
You deserve it for not looking at the cover. Rookie mistake.
Redoxx_fml 22
No he deserves it for not using the mistake to his advantage
IworkAt711 14
84- to his advantage? What the hell should he have done, chase her down and rape her?
GrammerNazi1000 8
At least he could rape her in a new position.
Bailey3lizebeth 5
Good lord... 101, your picture makes the comment hilarious. Win, sir - such a fantastic win.
2oc 5
Just think of all those possibilities! And i'd maybe stick to the coffee shop for a while.
yankfan89 27
Why didn't you look at the cover first? How can you expect to have a conversation with her if you didn't even know what book you were going to tall about?
BlanketHogger 0
Talk
Jdog619 11
I agree, 9. How could he expect to do that when he was "short" on information?
MidnaLink 35
What was a sex positions book doing in a library!?! There are children around.
yankfan89 27
OP was in a bookstore not a library. And even then that's why the children section is separate from the other books.
Fmlsea 28
Its a library they do carry more then one book , and that is why they have sections in libraries so that the kids get books from the kid section.
p3mguin 7
There are plenty of kids books, not just one book. Stop trying to exaggerate to make a point. That had to be the stupidest comment on FML.
tmmundy 17
It was a bookshop, or as I would call it, a bookstore!!! In any event, I'm pretty sure they have all types of book in both places. Couples may want to spice up their sex lives. Who are you to judge.
aleeshttylXD 9
adult section.
permannator 10
-67 if you would have taken more than 3 seconds to read her comment, you would have realized that, in fact, your comment is probably the stupidest one on FML.
DeadxManxWalking 27
At least she noticed you and smiled. Means she was probably interested in you.
TheDrifter 24
Try rereading the fml. Op pointed to the book and smiled, then the pretty girl got up and left.
DeadxManxWalking 27
Oh sorry. Read too fast. Now I feel like an idiot.
isaiaah 6
I did the same thing, I thought she pointed and smiled, not him.
Arthurie 30
Well, maybe you should read it for future reference. Might as well come up with something from this experience.
GVirdi 11
Would you do that if a random guy came up to you in the library pointing at the sex position book in his hand?
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
She's saying OP should read it. Not the pretty girl.
Arthurie 30
Learn the Secrets of the Secret Black Book that no children's eyes should see?
astoryofroses 9
kinky