Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some alone time under the stars. Things were getting hot and heavy in my truck bed and clothes went everywhere. After getting dressed, I felt pain. Little did I know that I threw my underwear in an ant pile. I got bit down south, a lot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went camping in the mountains with my girlfriend and her very outdoor loving mountain. I sprained my ankle falling out of the car and got a bug bite on my penis while peeing. Her dad actually asked why she was dating me and she admitted that she had no idea. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a walk on the beach at night. We were completely alone, so she started blowing me. It was great for the first five minutes, but she had just eaten dinner and (apparently) wasn't feeling great. I ended the night in the shower picking vomit out of my pubes. FML
Today, what I thought would be a romantic sleepover with the guy I like quickly turned into hell on earth when his girlfriend showed up. I had to scale the fire escape in my underwear so I could get back to my car in one piece. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
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Top comments
Roskosity 22
Ants in your pants. Ha!
ScratchCatPower 32
Ouch! Bad luck. But why in a truck bed? That sounds uncomfortable.
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Comments (54)
Roskosity 22
Ants in your pants. Ha!
ScratchCatPower 32
Ouch! Bad luck. But why in a truck bed? That sounds uncomfortable.
holly_fly 34
Because imagine being under the stars, candlelight and the moon the only sources of light... With a few blankets, it's VERY romantic... And when is romantic ever 100% comfortable XD
ohthebloodygore 16
#6, clearly you've created your own scenario. Good job.
krazy789 28
#6, like kissing in the rain
oceanbrickfire 21
Because it's the ideal country date.
IorvethTheXolo 8
It's not as awful as one might think. Back when I had my truck, my husband and I (back during our first weekend of dating after a long friendship) were out, but we didn't want to go back to my house yet because there was a lot of family there and it was getting crowded. For some reason, my mom's house was always the place to stay when any family visited California. So, we parked in the middle of an empty field and spent some time alone. One thing led to another and we had a situation like OP's minus the ants because we made sure to keep clothing in the truck. If you have a thick blanket, having a truck is like always having a portable hangout.
holly_fly 34
EXACTLY like kissing in the rain. :)
meghanclean 17
Because Texas! It's a sweet date, really.
BadApple88 29
Fire crotch
gracehi 33
Liar, liar, underpants on fire.
alexjoseph5575 18
"Things were getting hot and heavy in my truck bed" *Looks at location* Seems about right
Zelphoric 25
"I got bit down south" *looks at location* Seems about right :p
extremereviews 26
I can confirm
tigerisabelle 31
Texas never fails to amuse. Hope you get that sorted out OP!
sherri_baby88 36
Well that bites! Sorry OP. I'll see myself out.....
Joseph24689 14
"I'll see myself out" Lol
Tripartita 45
This is one of the rare occasions where even practicing safe sex can still result in red bumps on the groin.
H4H 15
Crush an Aspirin tablet and add water to make a paste. Apply it to any areas of swelling to remove itchiness and pain. Good luck OP!
Sora_McKain 36
Is there an alternative for those of us allergic to aspirin? This sounds like a good idea.
juniorbirdman 7
baking soda kind of works, it doesn't completely fix it, but it makes it a little better
JETarchitect 32
ouch that sucks, I hope you figured out what was going on and killed those ants if you want revenge pour vinegar on the ant mound