Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a bingo club with my gran and won the second game and a butthurt old lady accused me of cheating. I ended up being taken aside by an apologetic member of staff and asked to leave. I'm still trying to figure out how you can even cheat at bingo. FML
Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML
Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML
Today, my grandmother's excuse for not going to my college graduation was because she'd already bought her bingo card. FML
Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML
Today, I finally won at bingo after playing every Thursday night for months. It was a $750 bingo. I split with 85 other winners. My share was $8. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
Today, I won $20 on a scratch ticket my grandma bought me. She wants it back. FML
Today, I walked in on my grandmother's cats fighting, and my brothers gambling on it. FML
Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML
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Top comments
AyeTee77 18
Get revenge, steal their walkers.
MisterKnowItAll 15
Don't mess with the elderly.
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Comments (59)
daniel271 13
Old people never had any chill.
coraline123c 23
You in the wrong hood messing with the wrong elderly people
Jwaye2 7
I would make them feel bad and say you were planning on spending your winnings on them but now you have to fix your car.
radiocaf 29
Okay wtf? Old people are the worst, you just don't do that to someone's stuff.
tinycroc 10
(Spoken as if from one of the residents) Young people are the worst, you don't just walk in to someone's bingo hall and win money that one of us expected to win with the plan to share those winnings in some way with the other residents. While I'm obviously saying this jokingly, I imagine that's probably close to how they felt about it - it's probably one of the few things they look forward to during the week and then to have an interloper come in... well cars get keyed I guess.
shinikageWolf 15
They must have been committed, it takes some strength to key a car!
kirby1964 20
Note to self: never win at Bingo.
domi0461 10
this is just funny to me
avenue24 20
The elderly don't mess around when it comes to bingo. You have to be careful.
golden23 10
Those elderly gangs are the most viscous, hopefully you take the warning and stay away from There bingo hall
jocamo 24
I once won $1,600 at a bingo hall on my second visit. The glares I received... if looks could kill