Get ready to ruuuuumble!

Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML

Today, while at the dinner table, my grandmother told me she backed over a cat. FML

Today, I went to visit my grandmother. My grandfather recently died, so I had gotten her a cat for comfort. Turns out in her sadness, she had forgotten about the cat. I found its remains being eaten by ants and birds. FML

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I was afraid that one of their many cats would pee on me. I was peed on all right, by my grandma. FML

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

Awkward family gatherings

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

Today, my grandmother tried to start a fist-fight with my wife during my wedding ceremony. FML

Happy Caturday

Today, my cats started fighting again. Normally, I let them, because it's the only exercise they get. But this time one of my cats sliced the other's nose, and he responded by pinning her and nearly choking her to death. When I ran in to stop them, they teamed up against me. Ah, somethin' don't feel too good… FML