Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a bingo club with my gran and won the second game and a butthurt old lady accused me of cheating. I ended up being taken aside by an apologetic member of staff and asked to leave. I'm still trying to figure out how you can even cheat at bingo. FML
Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML
Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML
Today, my grandmother's excuse for not going to my college graduation was because she'd already bought her bingo card. FML
Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML
Today, I finally won at bingo after playing every Thursday night for months. It was a $750 bingo. I split with 85 other winners. My share was $8. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
Today, I won $20 on a scratch ticket my grandma bought me. She wants it back. FML
Today, I walked in on my grandmother's cats fighting, and my brothers gambling on it. FML
Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML
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Top comments
AyeTee77 18
Get revenge, steal their walkers.
MisterKnowItAll 15
Don't mess with the elderly.
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Comments (59)
Hildy93 21
You do not **** with bingo! Especially with old people
seaboundrhino813 8
Old folks are such mother fakers. They claim ignorance on anything new they don't wanna learn, yet can keep up with 6 bingo cards?? C'mon
Xion0014 20
I'm surprised they key'd it before you arrived at your car...
earlytermination 34
I didn't leave immediately after I won, I stayed and visited with my grandma a short while after. There was roughly an hour before I went to my car and saw the damage.
band13geek 16
"That's what you get for takin' our money, you rapscallion!"
Muerteds 18
How do you make a sweet little old lady say, "****!"? Have the sweet little old lady next to her yell, "Bingo!"
thefmlman2011 37
i love old people and bingo. i wheel old people on Anzac day (25th April), but I haven't plsyed bingo with them. I've played Bingo in the past though.