Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a bingo club with my gran and won the second game and a butthurt old lady accused me of cheating. I ended up being taken aside by an apologetic member of staff and asked to leave. I'm still trying to figure out how you can even cheat at bingo. FML
Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML
Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML
Today, my grandmother's excuse for not going to my college graduation was because she'd already bought her bingo card. FML
Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML
Today, I finally won at bingo after playing every Thursday night for months. It was a $750 bingo. I split with 85 other winners. My share was $8. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
Today, I won $20 on a scratch ticket my grandma bought me. She wants it back. FML
Today, I walked in on my grandmother's cats fighting, and my brothers gambling on it. FML
Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML
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Top comments
AyeTee77 18
Get revenge, steal their walkers.
MisterKnowItAll 15
Don't mess with the elderly.
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Comments (59)
AyeTee77 18
Get revenge, steal their walkers.
Ironmayhem 22
Or their life support...
LostInTheZone11 29
It's like the joke. How do you get a sweet old lady to say F@#&? Get another sweet old lady to yell "BINGO!".
shadowlurker_j 15
The elderly take bingo seriously, man. Watch out.
trellz17 19
Just toss him a few dollars, he's your brother, it's not that bad.
nix1993 41
Wrong FML dude.
kelseythompson 27
They've been there since forever and you show up one day and steal the gold I understand how they feel but its still not right haha
gshocker20 21
Is that not what the FML says?
dirty_dan_ 15
Old people are serious about their bingo
karlcolt45 19
remember the global rules sperg
worldclassrager 41
Bingo is serious for them...hope the jackpot can help pay for the repairs
thatguy206 27
at least you met some bingo babes.