Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a bingo club with my gran and won the second game and a butthurt old lady accused me of cheating. I ended up being taken aside by an apologetic member of staff and asked to leave. I'm still trying to figure out how you can even cheat at bingo. FML
Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML
Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML
Today, my grandmother's excuse for not going to my college graduation was because she'd already bought her bingo card. FML
Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML
Today, I finally won at bingo after playing every Thursday night for months. It was a $750 bingo. I split with 85 other winners. My share was $8. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
Today, I won $20 on a scratch ticket my grandma bought me. She wants it back. FML
Today, I walked in on my grandmother's cats fighting, and my brothers gambling on it. FML
Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML
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Top comments
AyeTee77 18
Get revenge, steal their walkers.
MisterKnowItAll 15
Don't mess with the elderly.
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Comments (59)
Thatissarcastic 17
I can only hope to be that thuggin as a grandma one day :)
lukeDAduke157 11
The elderly are straight savages.
laxtax 19
Plot twist, your grandma led the assault on your car
lalaney 14
I think it would piss me off to see a young person win at Bingo, if I was old and it was all I had to have fun. Young people have already won the lottery; health, exuberance, their whole lives ahead of them. Give old, sick people Bingo. We don't need it.
ZoroMiHawk 25
We may be young, we may have our future ahead of us but we don't have the guarantee we'll get to the same age as the elderly. Life can end so abruptly and unexpectedly. At the end of the day, old or young, we should enjoy the present as much as we can, knowing full well it could be our last day alive.
TheGreyJayLP 10
Luckily you can pay for repairs!
chaseafterwind82 29
Gangsta granny y'all!
cr500guy 11
I think a Ron Burgundy meme would be appropriate
BaDumTsss_fml 23
Well, they know what the kids are doing these days
DA3Z 16
Best. Story. Ever!
Jryan952015 7
Look on the bright side you won the money you will need to fix the scratches on your car