Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML
Today, as I was working at my babysitting job, I was watching a 3.5 year old girl. She begged and begged me to come in the jacuzzi with her, and when I put on my 2-piece bathing suit on, the young girl asked me why my stomach looked like a bagel. I looked down just to realize she was right. FML
Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML
Today, while tucking my toddler in bed and telling her I love her, she responded with, "And I love your bouncy castle belly!" I know I'm overweight, but I didn't think I was that fat. FML
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML
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Top comments
iAmScrubs 19
Tell the toddler you are Santa. You will get sooo much respect.
indianajones103 2
eat the child. problem solved.
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Comments (117)
cool517 1
yum yum
Joppa 0
after all, she's only three years old anyways..
amh721 0
That sucks. It's all about healthy eating and exercise. The work may be hard, but the solution is simple.
wazzup182FML 3
it was YOU who stole my Mcdonalds *crys* :(
ribbyc80 0
ask the kid " why didnt your mom explain to you why your adopted"!
shakeTHEworld 12
Kids can be the devil and the angel at the same time.
Miss_Random 0
At least you're not in denial. "I'm not fat! I'm fluffy!"
Barney_Rubble_75 0
clearly revenge is in order. if she likes sesame street, find a puppet of Cookie Monster or Big Bird, Grover etc & then terrorist her with it. Not only will you have develush fun teasing her initially, if Sesame Street comes on while you're there, you can make snyde remarks like " Lookout, Grover is going to jump through the TV to get you!!!" Then laugh your head off when she runs screaming & then grab another snack you fat bastard!
mariet_fml 23
Bring it up with her parents. She should be able to understand, "You don't ask that."
startrekker 3
You can't stop a three y/o from asking questions, they are too young.
Kitkatrehab 0
Ya kids that age don't get it can't get it won't get it....that's why it's kinda funny lol
jorankay411 6
A 5 year old did that with me too... only it was about my clammy hands whenever she would hold them... Yours is worse though... FYL.