Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML
Today, as I was working at my babysitting job, I was watching a 3.5 year old girl. She begged and begged me to come in the jacuzzi with her, and when I put on my 2-piece bathing suit on, the young girl asked me why my stomach looked like a bagel. I looked down just to realize she was right. FML
Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML
Today, while tucking my toddler in bed and telling her I love her, she responded with, "And I love your bouncy castle belly!" I know I'm overweight, but I didn't think I was that fat. FML
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML
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Top comments
iAmScrubs 19
Tell the toddler you are Santa. You will get sooo much respect.
indianajones103 2
eat the child. problem solved.
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Comments (117)
llCHR15ll 0
cue the comfort eating
ColorfulDonut 7
chubby bunny
staceysgenesis16 0
thats kind of sad.
ambowew 7
Just explain that you're in a contest - to have more rolls than a bakery. You're killing the competition, by the way.
KoolKat369 5
omg!! that is hillarious!! hahaha
vyben 3
haha great pic #18
xXSillyLoveXx 0
Well, nothing screams respect like explaining why you're overweight... I say you should've turned around and said, "That's what you made mommy look like when you were in her tummy."
YayorNay 8
Be a good babysitter and sit on her!
nerdsgetmehot 23
A five year old once asked why i had chicken pox all over my face. It was severe acne.
peppermintstick 0
I had that happen once, when I was volunteering in a kindergarten classroom in college. She was a sweet kid so I had to let it roll off my back but it was hard since I was so self conscious about it to begin with!
nerdsgetmehot 23
I'm glad I'm not the only one! Kids seem to be mystified by acne. :P I was always very self-conscious about my acne, too, but like you said-- all you can really do is let it roll of your back. Luckily they aren't meaning to be mean. :)
peppermintstick 0
You're totally not alone! My daughter has started asking about things like that, that she has never seen or isn't sure about, and I'm realizing it takes awhile to get it through their heads that there's a polite way to ask and sometime you need to just wait until you're at home to ask mommy or daddy about it! I suppose I should comment on OP, so... OP, she is three and is still learning. Don't take it personally!
kautiepye 0
sucks for you....maybe yu should've said yu were the cotton fairy and you store all the cotton in your belly
llCHR15ll 0
the cotton fairy?!?......... seriously?
Lil_Red_Angel 0
more like the blubber fairy.
karlita22 0
Awwwww I love kids hahaha
PandaSue92 4
Nothin wrong with a little fluff:) Just mean's there's more to love