Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML
Today, as I was working at my babysitting job, I was watching a 3.5 year old girl. She begged and begged me to come in the jacuzzi with her, and when I put on my 2-piece bathing suit on, the young girl asked me why my stomach looked like a bagel. I looked down just to realize she was right. FML
Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML
Today, while tucking my toddler in bed and telling her I love her, she responded with, "And I love your bouncy castle belly!" I know I'm overweight, but I didn't think I was that fat. FML
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML
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Top comments
iAmScrubs 19
Tell the toddler you are Santa. You will get sooo much respect.
indianajones103 2
eat the child. problem solved.
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Comments (117)
AlejandroGonzale 0
What's wring with your belly?
coolwhiplova 1
Why don't you try and get skinny then you wouldn't have to do that
wazdog 4
It's interesting to see all the "you should lose weight" comments being down rated. I guess it's hard for many fat people to face the truth.
muffins260 2
awww sorry :( fyl
Joeboy777 0
it was the jews *cough*
daemian666 1
She probably thought the baby was in ur belly
cedeskay 5
Well that sure does suck :/
jerd02 0
Buy an effing bike.
coltskikass 0
maybe that's a sign to slim down some fatty
IrishPrincess18 0
Sometimes losing weight is not as easy as it sounds