Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, I attended my husband's holiday brunch at a company I also used to work for. I was excited to see former coworkers until one raced up, grabbed my belly, and in front of a crowded room, exclaimed, "You're pregnant!" Nope, just older and a bit fatter. FML
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML
Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML
Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML
Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML
Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
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Top comments
techweed 12
he sounds awesome and likable, also he sounds over 13, so you should have left him at home he's old enough
Naitras 15
well that was dumb... should have left him home
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Comments (81)
Naitras 15
well that was dumb... should have left him home
EmoGiana 0
That's exactly what I would do if I had a work party. I would figure he would do something embarrassing.
CryMoreFMLs 15
When they get home.... there wont be a child anymore.
thesunsetglow_fml 8
"Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad"
Gravitex 0
lol
Dempsey_xoxo 7
Yeah, apparently OP hasn't heard of a babysitter. YDI.
SisyphereanTask 2
LOL at the Russel Peters reference.
TheWindowLicker 13
Yea, I can't see why you wouldn't you just try to find a sitter or something. Chances are you know your own son enough to know he would act out in some form for being taken somewhere he didn't want to go. I don't think he should have done what he did but this could have been avoided. Unless you tried and couldn't find a sitter, then FYL. Either way, lesson learned.
Sentinel41 0
I would do the opposite, gain a ton of weight over 9 months. That way you don't have to be reclusive and people will feel sorry for you
AshleySezRawrz 0
lolllllz ;)
honeybunches88 5
Yes, because it is inconceivable that OP tried to find a babysitter and was unsuccessful. Not everyone has the luxury of having a good, reliable babysitter on call 24/7.
krystian23 0
Ouch that sucks
tulsafml 0
thatt reallyy suckss
deliciouscake 3
that really reallly sucks
SassiestLemon 2
That really sucks. O_O
Zomg_Okay 27
If he's old enough to be left at home he should have been left at home. If not, you could get a babysitter.
techweed 12
he sounds awesome and likable, also he sounds over 13, so you should have left him at home he's old enough
mylifesucksserio 15
well you didn't really have to tell them that you were just fat. Whats wrong with oh kids just say the most crazy things then end with a hahahahahah.
UnprecendentedAw 0
Kids and coworkers don't mix. You're lucky he didn't call you out about anything negative you may have said about your job, coworkers, or boss at home after a bad day at work.
aardvarkish 17
totally
cass85 8
I absolutely agree with this. Children do NOT EVER belong at work functions unless specifically invited. You completely and utterly deserve it. I am not saying this as a child-hating, bitter person. I am saying this as someone that knows that your dressed up colleagues, the expensive caterers that are serving you and the adult conversation are not things that a child that is too young to be left alone either should be around or even WANTS to be around. What makes you so entitled?
zombiekitten87 12
22- chill out! no one said it was a fancy party or there were caterers involved... besides, how do you know there weren't other children there? also for other people, if the kid stood up and announced mommy was pregnant because she was fat, he probably wasn't old enough to be home alone.
SuperNova69 0
that will teach u to drag him along
Miss_Random 0
You brought that upon youself by dragging him there. If he was old to stay home alone, then you should have just left him home. If he isn't, hire a babysitter. If you couldn't afford one OR you didn't trust him to be home alone without getting into trouble then you should have just skipped the office party.
aardvarkish 17
Maybe he knows something you don't.
im_awsome 2
this means you should start goin to the gym.
lidemocr 0
yikes! wth?
MrsLender_fml 3
^ LOL how mean.
TayonaC 10
lol that's not nice