Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight-hour shift. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work. By lunchtime, my feet were covered in blisters and I had to limp my way through the rest of the day. FML
Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed, asking, "Is that your feet?" I'd forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML
Today, I went on the first date I've been on in years. While walking into the movie theatre, one of my shoes broke. Then I remembered that I needed to grab my mask. While walking back to the car, my other shoe broke. After the movie, I tripped on my broken shoes, and brought him down with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend was in the back seat of a car with one of my friends when she got sick and puked all over one of his dress shoes. My friend then asked me to replace his shoes, since she is technically unemployed and couldn't pay him back. We eventually agreed that I would pay for one shoe. FML
Today, I was at work, and I had to tell my manager I was calling someone to bring me a bra as mine had broken mid-shift. I was the only woman on shift. It took them 30 minutes to show up and I still had to serve front of house while I waited. FML
Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML
Today, as I was getting ready for church, I couldn't decide between my black or white shoes. I put one of each on, then my son started crying. Fast forward, I'm at church, I look down and I'm wearing one white shoe and one black shoe. FML
Today, I wore my new shoes to work, feeling confident. Halfway through the day, I found out that I'd forgotten to remove a giant price sticker on the left sole. My boss pointed it out during a meeting, as I crossed my legs. FML
Today, while trying on clothes in Macy's, someone decided to throw some shoes over the wall and into my changing stall. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, I asked my husband if I should wear my black or red heels with my dress. He looked me up and down from the sofa and said, “We needed to leave 45 minutes ago to have any prayer of getting there on time, I'm now watching TV, so you and your heels please leave me alone now.” Oops. FML
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Top comments
sharksfan48 13
I guess if you say 'pretty black pair' it makes your boyfriend think of a shoe like that. Maybe just say 'black pair' next time.
ShadowBox 8
At least they were YOUR stilettos, right?
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Comments (151)
Mabalzeshary 6
Bring me more rolls, but naked this time!
inolongercare 19
Hey... He thought they were pretty... Next time get more specific...
perdix 31
You should have gone barefoot, taken off your shirt and said you just invented "no shoes, no shirt service." Your restaurant will be more popular than Hooters if your idea can . . . *lowers sunglasses* take off.
Shepardspie71 8
You weren't specific enough
hordriss 14
Perhaps you needed to give a better description? I can see why he made the choice he did.
Clumsyblonde22 12
It's kind of your fault for not specifying which ones and leaving it up to him to decide.
imonkeyface 9
Well, you were a bit vague, and stilettos are pretty. Better luck next time OP.
Jemm_fml 29
You should definitely have been more specific than that especially since you have mlre than one black pair of shoes. Then again your boyfriend didn't think much if he knew what your job was and brought something that clearly isn't sensible to wear. I'm voting fylydi.
heart_aussie_fml 20
"Pretty black shoes"... Sorry OP but you had it coming..
sugarbear0727 19
That's hilarious. And always give detailed descriptions to guys. Of course he was gonna grab the '**** me' heels. Those are the ones he likes. And thats unfortunate that you waitress, but oh well.