Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight-hour shift. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work. By lunchtime, my feet were covered in blisters and I had to limp my way through the rest of the day. FML
Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed, asking, "Is that your feet?" I'd forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML
Today, I went on the first date I've been on in years. While walking into the movie theatre, one of my shoes broke. Then I remembered that I needed to grab my mask. While walking back to the car, my other shoe broke. After the movie, I tripped on my broken shoes, and brought him down with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend was in the back seat of a car with one of my friends when she got sick and puked all over one of his dress shoes. My friend then asked me to replace his shoes, since she is technically unemployed and couldn't pay him back. We eventually agreed that I would pay for one shoe. FML
Today, I was at work, and I had to tell my manager I was calling someone to bring me a bra as mine had broken mid-shift. I was the only woman on shift. It took them 30 minutes to show up and I still had to serve front of house while I waited. FML
Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML
Today, as I was getting ready for church, I couldn't decide between my black or white shoes. I put one of each on, then my son started crying. Fast forward, I'm at church, I look down and I'm wearing one white shoe and one black shoe. FML
Today, I wore my new shoes to work, feeling confident. Halfway through the day, I found out that I'd forgotten to remove a giant price sticker on the left sole. My boss pointed it out during a meeting, as I crossed my legs. FML
Today, while trying on clothes in Macy's, someone decided to throw some shoes over the wall and into my changing stall. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, I asked my husband if I should wear my black or red heels with my dress. He looked me up and down from the sofa and said, “We needed to leave 45 minutes ago to have any prayer of getting there on time, I'm now watching TV, so you and your heels please leave me alone now.” Oops. FML
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Top comments
sharksfan48 13
I guess if you say 'pretty black pair' it makes your boyfriend think of a shoe like that. Maybe just say 'black pair' next time.
ShadowBox 8
At least they were YOUR stilettos, right?
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Comments (151)
BadApple88 29
Maybe you should have been more specific. You know how shoes all look the same to guys, unless they're gay lol
jw90 18
Be more specific next time?
BauerMegan 31
What if OP works at an old people's diner. Old men will be face down in their soup from heart attacks after seeing OP in dem heels!
killer6969 16
What's an Old people diner?
BauerMegan 31
Maybe I just watch too much TV.
AboveAll04 14
so you wear your stilettos for like five minutes so I'm guessing that's how long it takes him to bust?? because if you have them you should definitely be able to pull out an 8 hour shift with no problem.
Mauskau 36
No. After at least half an hour of wearing stilettos my feet are mushed to shit. I couldn't bear 8 hours of wearing them when you can't even sit down. They're also very bad for your feet and their work may condemn it as it can be dangerous and if you wobble, people's food and drink will be gone. 5 minutes is also very different to 8 hours.
AboveAll04 14
my point exactly if you can't wear them that long shouldn't own them.. because then you only bought them to wear for five ten minutes so your boyfriend can get all excited
Serisent 26
Or they were purchased for a specific event and discarded in the back of the closet, never to be worn again. I know I have a pair of stilettos that I never did wear a second time after my sister's wedding, and I couldn't stand in them for two hours, much less eight.
kt520 7
A lot of women have heels they can't wear for eight hours. Usually they're for an event like a wedding where they only wear them for max like 4 hours, unless you have major bucks to spend on high end heels that are comfortable enough to wear for a full day
Korosuhito 26
Unless you wear heels on an almost daily basis, they can be quite uncomfortable to wear for an extended period of time, especially if you are on your feet all day or the shoes are new and haven't been 'broken in' yet.
ashleighlaine 21
have you been a server before? there's no way in hell you could pull off an 8hr shift in stilettos with ease.
Chellybelly92 14
Seriously? Unless you have a desk job, you cannot pull an right hour shift in high heels. Especially as a waitress where the floors can be slippery and what not.
queerdragon 20
My sister insisted everyone wear heels for her wedding and then didn't understand why all her bridesmaids were barefoot by the end of the night. She wears heels daily, and purchases the nice, expensive pairs. The shoes we were forced to wear were cheap. She had a four hour ceremony, then insisted we take pictures for two hours. We just about died and halfway through the service we were out of the heels.
KickItHigh 32
Come on, OP. With guys like that, you have to be a bit more specific.
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
I think probably with all guys you should be more specific. How do you know what "type" of guy OP's boyfriend is really?
KickItHigh 32
I only called OP's boyfriend a certain type of guy so I didn't generalize all guys.
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
Actually you did. You said "with guys like that".... Which means you were referring to other guys not just OPs boyfriend.
Space_Teddy 29
my boyfriend would have done the exact same thing lol
buckdharma 38
White, white, white... black!
emuexport 4
Pretty black pair ????, I would have done the same :)
Wizzlbang 10
Make him give you a massage when you get home, obviously. And if he's bad at it, make him take a chiropracting class.
juwood 7
Wow...seriously? Great mentality you have there.
SleeplessBeauty 12
Your boyfriend brought what was "pretty" to him. Only gay men understand shoes.
LeeCards 8
That's completely false... There are sneakerheads as well men that aren't completely disconnected from the understanding of footwear.
Korosuhito 26
And only fools make such broad generalisations.
TogeBara 12
wow you are stupid, but so is he for not thinking about her having to walk all day. he shoulda brought her flats or something and been like sorry if i got the wrong pair. anything is better than heels when you are walking that much...