Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my wedding day. I broke a toe on the couch while turning on the lights in the hotel room. FML
Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight-hour shift. FML
Today, I sprained my ankle trying to prove that I can walk in high heels. FML
Today, I tried a new workout routine at the gym. I was feeling great until I dropped a big-ass weight on my foot and had to go to the hospital. After hours of waiting, the doctor told me that I had a broken toe and would need to wear a cast for six weeks. The worst part? I have a job interview next week. FML
Today, I had the rehearsal for two of my friends' wedding. My ex-husband is also in the wedding, and I just found out we have to walk down the aisle together 'for height reasons'. FML
Today, I went out wearing the highest heels I had, but was nervous about falling because I'm such a klutz. I got through the night without any injuries, so I changed into the sneakers I had brought with me to walk home. I tripped right outside my house in my sneakers and broke my ankle. FML
Today, you know those videos where catering staff accidentally drop the wedding cake in front of the bride, groom, and guests. Well I’m now that idiot. I’m also now in a cast on crutches because the bride kicked me in the leg with her heels so hard she snapped a bone. FML
Today, my fiancé has one leg shorter than the other after it was half blown off in the army, and his specially made wedding suit was delivered. They got the leg lengths the wrong way round. The wedding is in two days and he may have to wear his pants backwards. FML
Today, I was the bridesmaid for my dad and stepmum's wedding. As I was walking down the aisle, I tripped and fell over my high heels, hit my head on the armrest of a wooden chair on the way down, then passed out. I now have a concussion and a broken ankle. The wedding went on without me. FML
Today, I fell down my backyard steps at my own housewarming party, ended up breaking my ankle, and am now non-weight bearing for 10 weeks. I'm supposed to start a new job tomorrow, where I'm always on my feet. FML
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Top comments
FMLKitten 15
Hopefully, she's not a total Bridezilla and won't get mad at you for "stealing her attention".
trqskq 14
Don't worry, the other women wearing the heels will feel like they have three broken toes once the night is over.
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Comments (63)
KrazieKleo 13
Shit, there's not a whole lot you can do except just go to the wedding. Your boot should be fine with her hopefully O_o
CookieKidrauhl 0
Since she and OP are best friends, she'll probably understand :)
azndecoy 2
Or maybe yøú can bet that the fiancée wises up before the wedding and win some money while you're at it.
FMLKitten 15
Hopefully, she's not a total Bridezilla and won't get mad at you for "stealing her attention".
EvilPotato 15
Wow! Excellent reference that FML must be like 6 months old. Maybe even older! Props to you good sir!
CaptTeemo 10
Bridezilla is also a show.
emilyjgraham 34
and it is definitely not 6 months old!
evilplatypus 39
Time must be very odd in your universe, Potato, if one month = six months
juunebug 2
19 - it's also a very common phrase...
DLBL 23
Right? Like bridezillas who freak out if someone gets pregnant during their "Wedding Year." As if the guests have never seen a pregnant woman before, and will fawn and worship her like a goddess. eye roll.
KaelaKhaotic 5
I hope she'll understand about your broken toes.
samsaf1989 5
I hope she already knows about her broken toes being her "best friend" and all ...
jumble 12
But then again it says "best friend's wedding" then "the bride ordered" so she could be best friends with the groom. Still, OP should have let them know that she had broken toes to see what to do about the situation.
samsaf1989 5
Hmm good point 73 that could actually be the case,
toelie 26
Broken toes are a pretty good excuse.
baronsmommy 14
Not to a bridezilla!
ohSNAPyall 27
Or a pretty good reason to be booted from the bridal party!
0RedPenguin0 8
You better heal up quick, then.
KrazieKleo 13
She has broken toes -.- she won't heal up in a week!
HighGTurn 12
As if you can speed up the process..
ohSNAPyall 27
What a world of literalists with no imagination.
maronofhearts 19
It's because he said heal not heel so the connection wasn't made. Using the wrong word makes the joke right
trqskq 14
Don't worry, the other women wearing the heels will feel like they have three broken toes once the night is over.
outoftown 27
And ankles. Luckily, OP has a doctor she can recommend.
Shadow_Phantom 26
I really hope she's sympathetic toward your situation... I don't think I'd ever want to wear heels, even with my feet being perfectly undamaged.
perdix 31
Wear the platform heel on your good foot and walk around in circles the whole day. The wedding guests will think you are doing a one-woman Hokey Pokey marathon.
SerendipityRose 26
I just woke up my Husband from laughing at the mental imagery your comment conjured. He's scowling, so I'm blaming you for the grumpy-pants he's gonna be wearing most of the day.
gracehi 33
^ Seems legit. BTW, how the hell did you get TWO FMLs posted? I swear I've never seen someone with more than one, and I can't even get that many posted.
FMLKitten 15
41- her life sucks, that's how.
perdix 31
#37, sorry about that. I checked and now that I estimate Mr. Grumpy-Pants is about 2000 miles away, I'll man up and take the hit. It's hard for me to feel true remorse for causing uncontrollable laughter, though.
alexNEX 7
Get ready for a broken neck while your at it on those suicide shoes.
howdeedoo 22
Except for the fact that she probably won't even be wearing those shoes.
Elegance 7
Tell her the boot is in style this season. If she's gullible enough, you and the other bridesmaids will be hobbling around for the entire duration of the event.