Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because, "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML
Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML
Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Today, my parents said they know I don't do drugs or drink because I have no friends to do drugs or drink with. They are right. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML
Today, my mum got upset with me for having my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML
Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, I found out I will always come in second to my new husband's alcoholic parents. FML
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Top comments
cuppycakeslove 20
Put the booze back or else their behavior will be shittier!
deuceswild 13
On the bright side, you now have a lot of booze to yourself.
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Comments (62)
cuppycakeslove 20
Put the booze back or else their behavior will be shittier!
thatkidhesh 11
worth the try OP. drink up ;)
User57777 13
Don't want them to be alcoholics now right?
deuceswild 13
On the bright side, you now have a lot of booze to yourself.
asdghjk 7
lmfao, win, FYL though OP:(
BadApple88 29
Well at least now you know
SkyGuy32 17
I feel bad for OP. My mom gets really pissed off at the smallest things. There's nothing really good to do about it.
kee_breezy32 34
at least you tried!
Ian7890 23
did anyone else see this post twice?
kee_breezy32 34
I did!
XTheDesertSongX 17
I did.
BadApple88 29
yup !
syki 22
yup !
fuckedPriceless 17
Give 'em the booze back. As long as they are hungover they will ignore you!
ironichalibut 24
I bet they were even bigger assholes after you hid their booze
greenfishbait 19
I wouldn't be too happy if you hid my stuff either.
mdcdeve 10
Hid their booze ? Oh my, if I did anything to my parents booze or fags they would kill me, literally.
604 11
For those confused by the usage of the word "fags", in England it means cigarettes.
ironichalibut 24
It also archaically means "a bundle of wood or sticks" Knowledge is power!
Epikouros 32
Well, I'm sure hiding your parents' hairdressers and interior decorators wouldn't make them happy, either.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
29 - Stop. Put down your electronics. Go sit in the corner. Think about that horrible statement you just made. Come back when you're less of a dick.
Neyuu 18
Who's confused? I thought that was common knowledge.
mattorama 15
No, they would not LITERALLY kill you.
NagainaFier 16
38) Many people in America don't know that a fag = cigarette to the UK, since it's so predominantly used as a slur towards homosexuals over here.
xMay28 2
Maby they just bought new booze, because you mentioned they drink to much, I know I would
dietbacon 13
if she had to get to the point of hiding their booze it's probably because they were unwilling to stop, right? Maybe they're addicted and if so would probably actually go buy some more.