Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight-hour shift. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work. By lunchtime, my feet were covered in blisters and I had to limp my way through the rest of the day. FML
Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed, asking, "Is that your feet?" I'd forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML
Today, I went on the first date I've been on in years. While walking into the movie theatre, one of my shoes broke. Then I remembered that I needed to grab my mask. While walking back to the car, my other shoe broke. After the movie, I tripped on my broken shoes, and brought him down with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend was in the back seat of a car with one of my friends when she got sick and puked all over one of his dress shoes. My friend then asked me to replace his shoes, since she is technically unemployed and couldn't pay him back. We eventually agreed that I would pay for one shoe. FML
Today, I was at work, and I had to tell my manager I was calling someone to bring me a bra as mine had broken mid-shift. I was the only woman on shift. It took them 30 minutes to show up and I still had to serve front of house while I waited. FML
Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML
Today, as I was getting ready for church, I couldn't decide between my black or white shoes. I put one of each on, then my son started crying. Fast forward, I'm at church, I look down and I'm wearing one white shoe and one black shoe. FML
Today, I wore my new shoes to work, feeling confident. Halfway through the day, I found out that I'd forgotten to remove a giant price sticker on the left sole. My boss pointed it out during a meeting, as I crossed my legs. FML
Today, while trying on clothes in Macy's, someone decided to throw some shoes over the wall and into my changing stall. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, I asked my husband if I should wear my black or red heels with my dress. He looked me up and down from the sofa and said, “We needed to leave 45 minutes ago to have any prayer of getting there on time, I'm now watching TV, so you and your heels please leave me alone now.” Oops. FML
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Top comments
sharksfan48 13
I guess if you say 'pretty black pair' it makes your boyfriend think of a shoe like that. Maybe just say 'black pair' next time.
ShadowBox 8
At least they were YOUR stilettos, right?
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Comments (151)
ShadowBox 8
At least they were YOUR stilettos, right?
prettytreekitty 10
I think it'd be worse if they were his.
kee_breezy32 34
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
quick question...why would he have stilettos if he has a girlfriend?
ironichalibut 24
10- Not sure if you didn't get the adultery joke.. *insert Phillip J. Fry* Or if you made an awesome turn around of it
Serisent 26
Perhaps he likes to wear them, 15.
svalaedgren 18
#15, In this case I don't think OP's boyfriend had stilettos, but I don't see why it's such an impossibility for a guy to wear high heels. Shouldn't he be able to wear them for the exact same reason any other girl wears them? Because they're gorgeous, looks amazing on and makes him feel beautiful.
thatkidhesh 11
you can thank him for the extra tips you get as a result of his brilliance... after you get a foot massage from him when your shift ends. double win.
sulitak 27
#15 some men like to wear that kind of stuff. I've never understood it... but it is a kink out there just like submissive women
thatsucks4you 7
Captain bright side
prettytreekitty 10
thank god Im not the only one who thought it was possible
agentx52 13
15- They live together.
sharksfan48 13
I guess if you say 'pretty black pair' it makes your boyfriend think of a shoe like that. Maybe just say 'black pair' next time.
ironichalibut 24
I think some guys have trouble distinguishing "pretty" and "sexy"
Sheh_fml 25
So true. I would never call stilettos "pretty", they're simply not. Hot or sexy, yes, but not pretty.
ambitiousnygrl 17
Pretty is a very subjective term OP. Next time you should be more specific and ask for your black flats or whatever shoe you were looking for.
XSeraphinX 18
I think she needed to describe the shoes. Man don't understand short directions when it comes to lady stuff.
GhostChickens 17
Well, since she clearly has more than one pair of black shoes, she could have been a little more descriptive than "pretty". Calling them that hardly helps, especially since her boyfriend isn't a mind reader - he doesn't know which pair she thinks is the pretty pair. If I told my boyfriend to bring me my pretty shoes, I'd probably just get an armful of footwear and a boyfriend with an incredibly confused expression. I'm torn between FML and YDI because Op's poor feet must be killing her, but she could have done better description-wise.
BimmerDriver 23
Stilettos can be hot, maybe they'll get you some extra tips :p
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
That's what I was thinking. Hey smart guy you got there. Sexy=bigger tips! You should probably thank him later.
ilpapagrande 16
always be precise with men and ni ine will be disappointed.
Lexilulu44 13
You probably could have been more specific...
kee_breezy32 34
you'll get thru your shift OP (:
slooby_fml 25
I bet you'll look sexy and get a lot of tips
usernameunkn0wn 18
Make him rub your feet when you're done working.
igese 11
Well, you won't be underdressed for work
Rue22 16
Ouch!! Good luck on your shift. Rake in dem tips.