Today, my mother-in-law thinks she's the only person in the world who can stop the coronavirus crisis. So far, she has brought thyme, honey, lemons, parsley, ridiculously expensive and poisonous silver water and, of course, the cure-all: berry juice. You'd wonder how I have managed to keep my family alive until now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my mom was one those people who willingly takes random doses of livestock dewormer to "fight Covid" instead of getting vaccinated, when she called me from the hospital after poisoning herself with it. FML
Today, my mother-in-law decided my husband has COVID-19, read some debunked articles about how ibuprofen makes the symptoms worse, and scolded me for giving him ibuprofen for his muscle pain. I'm an actual medical doctor. FML
Today, I spent ages prepping, chopping, bagging and freezing lots of fruits and veggies for my mom. I also bought her a juicer and alkaline water to help combat some of her health issues. I walked into the kitchen to see her mixing her juice with vodka and rum instead of the water. FML
Today, my mother is acting pissy because I poured my drink out on our front lawn. Apparently, this was, "ridiculous and embarrassing." Meanwhile, COVID is surging and it looks like I'll be quarantining with her. Kill me. FML
Today, I'm at my mother-in-law's funeral, who died of Covid-19. Months before catching the virus, she would claim that, "the entire Covid thang is bullshit" and "people are just behaving like f****ts over a simple flu." FML
Today, my husband is a chef and now he has Covid, he's so desperate not to lose his senses of taste or smell that he’s started gargling vodka to kill the virus in his throat faster. He’s even started squirting it up his nose, then crying because of the pain. I give up. FML
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, my mother threatened my psychiatrist with legal action because he told her the organic and herbal "medicine" she swears by don't actually "cure" mental illness like she claims. FML
Today, I overheard my mom on the phone ranting about how China "engineered and released" the coronavirus and the giant hornets in an attempt to take over the world. Only one more month of quarantine left. FML
Today, and for this past week, I've had multiple people tell me all I needed to do to cure my incredibly rare chronic illnesses was some essential oils. Putting those 'medications' aren’t going to do anything. They then proceeded to give me more advice on how to treat a kidney transplant. FML
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Top comments
sourgirl101 29
Zeitgeist! This MIL isn’t alone. I have a crazy fanatic sister that thinks this same way. She thinks ex: vaccines are just a conspiracy theory plot by Big Pharma to keep us from the knowledge that all we need to do to stay healthy is get plenty of vitamin D3 and take Colloidal Silver. (Never mind that it’ll turn you blue!)
RichardPencil 32
You're MIL is crazy. There's another person going around claiming to be the only one who can cure coronavirus. If she shares her solution with him, they can save America First, and then the world if they feel like it.
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Comments (7)
ajh1800 25
That stuff is hardly what I'd consider harmful to your family, and if you don't want to take it or give it to your kids...don't 🤷🏽♀️
Calimero0 14
You are of course right and she means well. Trouble is by bringing us all this in installments she is completely ignoring the rules for self-isolation. Wouldn't be at all suprised if she turned out to have single handedly spread the virus in our town (because of course it's not just us who need rescuing)..
MidnaLink 35
I don't really know what silver water is, but hey, whatever ends up working at this point.
sticky359 3
Otherwise known as colloidal silver, also known as the stuff that turns you skin blue. Long history as a scam cure for almost anything
sourgirl101 29
Zeitgeist! This MIL isn’t alone. I have a crazy fanatic sister that thinks this same way. She thinks ex: vaccines are just a conspiracy theory plot by Big Pharma to keep us from the knowledge that all we need to do to stay healthy is get plenty of vitamin D3 and take Colloidal Silver. (Never mind that it’ll turn you blue!)
RichardPencil 32
You're MIL is crazy. There's another person going around claiming to be the only one who can cure coronavirus. If she shares her solution with him, they can save America First, and then the world if they feel like it.
Suzi_d16 27
What an idiot. She forgot garlic. It’s a natural antibiotic.
RichardPencil 32
One word: turmeric. Another word: kombucha. More words: kale, quinoa, açaí. MIL is bringing in D-list superfoods to combat a juggernaut! Hey, dingbat, "Scarborough Fair" is not a game plan!
Calimero0 14
Of course she didn't forget garlic, what do you take her for?! I was simply not allowed to submit a lengthy FML that also included ginger root, sage, rosemary, two different supplements, an extra spray bottle of colloidal silver to give to my parents. And chocolates (she means well of course)
WistayShlaio82 13
Harry, your mothers a witch
Destin Shyann 9
what a horrible person. She brought you immune boosters, super foods, and antivirals. Colloidal silver is not poisonous LOL, and it’s called elderberry syrup, two of the strongest natural antivirals that you can get your hands on, with no side effects, but tons of research showing the benefits. Not to mention it’s expensive and hard to find. Believe it or not you can get medicine that doesn’t come from a pharmacy, and yeah, it works. You just have to be smart enough to take it
IHaveThePower 18
Clearly: 1) The entire 'manmade antibiotic' thing is just a scam, and turning blue from colloidal silver is a rumor; 2) Antibiotics treat viruses. Clearly.