Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the reason I don't want to stay overnight at his house is because I still occasionally wet the bed. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I like, but I had to pee really bad. It got really wet down there, and he thought I squirted. I peed everywhere. I let him believe he made me squirt. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML
Today, I went to give my boyfriend head, and his dick tasted like condoms. I'm 5 months pregnant, we obviously don't use condoms. He got scared when I stopped and told him, then he got mad at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
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Top comments
NotYourOrdinary7 6
If he doesn't want you to become pregnant, some sort of contraception should have been used.
Moep20 24
I am sorry that you have such a dumb boyfriend D: Try explaining it to him with pictures maybe? Let him see for himself that there are two openings?
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Comments (319)
Old_Iron_Sides 6
On the plus side, urinating after sex does reduce UTI's.
lies_ah 3
true but i don't get how if pee(urethra) and sperm(******) are in 2 different spots how does the peeing help reduce uti's?
greenwich1945 13
#241: UTI - Urinary Tract Infection. When you have sex, especially if you're having it for the first time, or you suddenly start having a lot more sex than you're used to, the excessive friction can cause bacteria to shift upwards and get into the urethra, causing infection. It's nothing to do with sperm, women can get it even if the guy uses a condom. Or, y'know, you could have googled it.
Slavgaard 16
You have to show him directly...males are see with thier eyes...not thier brains
kenbarbz72 0
You're ******* stupid.
FireFlie07 20
You guys are using birth control right?
kellyjo66 3
Lets hope you are lucky enough to NOT get Knocked up by this guys. He will be educating your kids someday. Lets stop that cycle
bydabeachmon 0
Your boyfriend is an idiot; dump him. Lol
challan 19
I'm guessing you're not getting a lot of clitoral stimulation then. So... now you're pregnant with an idiots child that will never sexually satisfy you. well done.
brianjman14 23
Why would her child sexually satisfy her? Creep...
ElishaisSexy2016 9
No no no. She meant that OP is pregnant with the guy's (who can not sexually satisfy her) child. :)
chellyX92 8
Either way she's a ******* retard. No where does it say she got pregnant and is not on the pill.
challan 19
107- are you ******* serious? He has no clue about her body, and you call me an idiot for pointing that out? He was worried about her getting pregnant. Pretty sure she's not on birth control. Call yourself a ******* retard and bite me.
Snoopy0718 14
Remember the pill isn't a 100 percent accurate just like condoms
chellyX92 8
I mean unless your talking about her "squirting" I don't see where anything about pleasure and her being pregnant is said. And yes the pill isn't 100% effective might explain the whole "pee so you don't get pregnant"
chellyX92 8
And I will say "******* retard" was a bit ride.
the_true_batman 10
I'm confused, what implies that she isn't getting clitoral stimulation?
olpally 33
My IQ just dropped 20 points reading this conversation, everyone just shut-up and google this shit... Lol.. Jeez...
Metallica36176 16
If he is that stupid he doesn't need to be having sex. If you're irresponsible and don't know the details. You don't need to be having sex.
saradee430 2
Your boyfriend is right. Only it's so you dont get a uti from the bacteria. It yeast infection.
Metallica36176 16
So, that would make him wrong.
gnateye 7
YDI for not using a condom, now you're gonna be preggers AND have a STD.... ALWAYS use a condom.
annie_nk 23
The only way she'll get an STD from him is if he already has one.
S182 15
Agree with 55. I have used a condom less than a dozen times and have never gotten an STD. It's called monogamy...
annie_nk 23
It's always amusing to me how clueless men are about female anatomy.
S182 15
It's not like females are masters of male anatomy....
annie_nk 23
True. But some of the things they believe are really out there. My husband, back he was my boyfriend, thought a womans uterus produced an egg immediatly after an ******.
the_true_batman 10
I was once in a thread that started with a picture of a guy with a flaccid penis, and the same guy with an erection. The caption read "Girls, are you aware that this happens?" I thought "Troll thread? Of course girls know penises can become erect! This board is for 18+, and even young girls know about erections!" Turns out the picture was referring to erect penises being much larger than flaccid penises in most cases. Many girls posted that they had no idea that penises got that much larger then erect, they thought the penis only got slightly larger. FYI, for any girls out there (or even some men), there are penises that can go from 1.5 inches to 8.5 inches (rare), but it isn't uncommon for a guy to go from 3 inches to 6-7.5 inches. I thought this was common sense, but so many girls thought that for an erect penis to be 6 inches it had to be at least 5 inches soft.