Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the reason I don't want to stay overnight at his house is because I still occasionally wet the bed. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I like, but I had to pee really bad. It got really wet down there, and he thought I squirted. I peed everywhere. I let him believe he made me squirt. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML
Today, I went to give my boyfriend head, and his dick tasted like condoms. I'm 5 months pregnant, we obviously don't use condoms. He got scared when I stopped and told him, then he got mad at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NotYourOrdinary7 6
If he doesn't want you to become pregnant, some sort of contraception should have been used.
Moep20 24
I am sorry that you have such a dumb boyfriend D: Try explaining it to him with pictures maybe? Let him see for himself that there are two openings?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (319)
elizabeth713 8
Are you dating Todd akin?
jose562 5
I thought you girls pee from ****** and poo from asshole
Futacy 30
Your comment was bad and you should feel bad.
wolfhausen 7
I like how the comments before and after validate yours. Your timing is spot on!
kurofuchs 5
He probably is confused but you do end up with some sperm being washed away by urination. In fact you probably will have a few of his sperm in your urine for the next few days.
galaxystar2 6
What is with so many people procreating with complete idiots? You are the one who chose this person....
greenmen 12
Dah
nrelavender 10
It's surprising how uneducated people are about down south. I have a friend who is a 16 year old female. I had to explain to her that she doesn't pee out of her ******. It was like a month ago.
outoftown 27
Going by your username, you are in college. College is a good place to find smart guys, not 5x-stupid ones. Start looking now.
jenna_rae6 4
It is, however, recommended to urinate after sex in order to flush out bacteria and prevent a yeast infection. :)
LisaLove70 3
I'm pretty sure it's safe to say he doesn't go downtown. lol. If so, he wouldn't think that way. lol. If he does go downtown, then I really feel sorry for you sweetie......... Cause he don't know what he's doin! lol