Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the reason I don't want to stay overnight at his house is because I still occasionally wet the bed. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I like, but I had to pee really bad. It got really wet down there, and he thought I squirted. I peed everywhere. I let him believe he made me squirt. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML
Today, I went to give my boyfriend head, and his dick tasted like condoms. I'm 5 months pregnant, we obviously don't use condoms. He got scared when I stopped and told him, then he got mad at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NotYourOrdinary7 6
If he doesn't want you to become pregnant, some sort of contraception should have been used.
Moep20 24
I am sorry that you have such a dumb boyfriend D: Try explaining it to him with pictures maybe? Let him see for himself that there are two openings?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (319)
evelynissmexy 2
You're boyfriend's worried that he'll get pregnant too? x)
NicoleAshley10 0
he should use a condom if he doesn't want you to get pregnant
knoxxx 22
Peeing after sex is actually a really good idea. Not to prevent pregnancy, but it helps prevent UT and yeast infections.
alycion 39
Everyone knows that jumping jacks works better then taking a leak. Yeesh. Am I the only one thinking people should educate themselves a bit on how the human body works before having sex?
Dracoboxer357 36
166- You're not alone there. Call me crazy, but I also thought when I was a kid that learning how to drive a car would be a good idea before I actually tried to take it for a spin around town. ;P
unicornpower56 7
We? You and your boyfriend are each going to have a baby! Congrats on the baby's!!
MorganXAlexander 6
The fact that you even have to explain that to him shows you're dating a moron. Another fact is you still being with him after explaining several times how ignorant he is. Out of curiosity- does he also think that sitting in a hot tub would work just in case you don't "pee out all the semen"? YDI
sk8_king 23
Maybe try using a condom?
bennn89 5
You could just show him the separate holes…
katie887 2
I would say use better birth control! Especially with this dumb ****!
S182 15
I don't think society is dumbing down... My hypothesis is that people have always been stupid... We now have better communications technologies which allows the stupidity to be shared with a greater speed to a larger audience.