Today, I bought some crickets as a treat for my lizard. One escaped and somehow got into the heating system in my room. The chirping is amplified and comes from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Goodbye, restful sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML
Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML
Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML
Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML
Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML
Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to my apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into my window. FML
Today, while trying to open the packaging to my new headphones, I got startled by my cat suddenly meowing, and cut through the headphone wire. FML
Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML
Today, I was talking with a very attractive coworker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as The Moth Lady. FML
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Top comments
stupidface15 16
at least if theres an awkward silence there will be proper sound effects
Divia1 9
It will die soon and dry up quickly, don't worry. I absolutely despise crickets. if you want to treat your lizard get him hornworms or Phoenix Worms.
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Comments (69)
Kiki242 19
I would probably go insane.
_Just_My_Luck 15
Try burning it out with the heating system
mainergirl90 4
Lol you must be from a city... I'm from the country and we find chirping to be peaceful.
PewDiePie_Lover 14
What planet do you live on
Welshite 40
#14: I was raised in the country. The toads, crickets, and cicadas making noise all night and keeping me awake were ridiculously annoying. Not all country hicks like animal noises just 'cause.
MzZombicidal 36
I'm from the country and can hardly stand hearing a cricket when I visit the pet store once a month. They make my skin crawl. I find a quiet room miles better.
Rallred32 20
Just because I'm from the country doesn't mean I like bug noises because I'm always around them. Believe me, I've stayed up plenty of nights wondering if that cicada noise was from inside my house or out. It can be quite unnerving.
cryssycakesx3 23
just because I'm from the city, doesn't mean I hate bug noise!
Enslaved 38
When I first moved from Puerto Rico to Miami it was hard to sleep without the sounds of the coqui frogs singing me a lullaby. Now I'm by an airport and I no longer noticed the airplanes. It's all what you get used to. Silence is madness, in my world.
PewDiePie_Lover 14
You poor soul..
jsp16 24
RIP to your dreams :(
jazmin3012 28
On the bright side, you'll know the temperature
buckdharma 38
Only male crickets play a song hoping to attract a hot date, so you need to release a groupie cricket.
cryssycakesx3 23
gotta get bitches!
stiffster 5
smoked crickets anyone?
skittyskatbrat 19
Time to get a bunch of glue traps! The little paper folding ones are very cheap, think ten-for-a-buck cheap. Put a bit of cricket food in the center of them, and I think you'll have that chirping bastard dead tonight. good luck!!! That's a real FML :(
mrz1177 11
KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!