Today, I bought some crickets as a treat for my lizard. One escaped and somehow got into the heating system in my room. The chirping is amplified and comes from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Goodbye, restful sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML
Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML
Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML
Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML
Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML
Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to my apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into my window. FML
Today, while trying to open the packaging to my new headphones, I got startled by my cat suddenly meowing, and cut through the headphone wire. FML
Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML
Today, I was talking with a very attractive coworker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as The Moth Lady. FML
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Top comments
stupidface15 16
at least if theres an awkward silence there will be proper sound effects
Divia1 9
It will die soon and dry up quickly, don't worry. I absolutely despise crickets. if you want to treat your lizard get him hornworms or Phoenix Worms.
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Comments (69)
tessybear19 8
Try listening to music with earbuds? I don't know..Just an idea. Good luck though!
catanita 18
Imagine that you are under the stars at night and the only sound that you can hear are the crickets - sound of nature.
B6LLT 14
just raise the temp high for a minute and let the problem solve itself
Fas4wd 13
Put your lizard in there too.
christyxbee 15
And here I was thinking the sounds of crickets were supposed to help promote restful sleep!
QueenofWheels 13
Turn heater on? I can't see where you live to know if it is summer.
ibanghellokitty 8
Don't worry, op that's why we have spiders.
kainpwnsu 19
Nothing a little amonium chloride won't take care of. (Use with care, or you die, too.)
OldstrInMich 7
Is it a snowy tree cricket?
Jbizzlemynizzle 2
I feel your pain man. The cricket will probably starve in a few days and there will be no more chirping.