Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I had all of my wisdom teeth removed. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked how long the procedure took, and the nurse told me a little less than an hour. Apparently I thought this was hilarious and started laughing, which ripped my new stitches. FML
Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML
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Top comments
ohhjenn 0
you deserve it for being a cheater!
kcnutt10 1
**** YOUR life? No. YDI. You ******* douche! This may come as a shock to you, but women have feelings too. If you love or want to be with someone else, then just break-up with your girlfriend. It's that simple. Yea, it may cause her pain from the break-up, but not near as much pain if she realized you cheated on her. It's douche bags like you that make it hard for the few good men out there who actually respect women. Eat shit! I hope she dumped your sorry, pathetic ass.
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Comments (268)
iheartdance 6
I got my wisdom teeth out a month ago and I didn't feel like talking at all. yeah I felt funny and passed out on the way home but I only felt high for the amount of time I was in the recovery room. You definately deserved it.
0D0R0 4
Even though you cheated on her she is of course not allowed to hurt you. You should press charges against your violent, abusive (ex-)girlfriend! That ... has some massive issues.
Perksofbeingawal 0
Your picture is amazing and I agree with your comment.
sarasweetie 0
you 100% deserved it.
millionaire93 0
douche bag. I feel sorry for your girlfriend.
snizzlesnuzzle 0
is your last name nutt?
kcnutt10 1
Mine?
millionaire93 0
I wouldn't say cheat...I'd say that they try to keep it interesting for themselves and they have poor communication between the two of them.
MlKAYLA 0
But you have to admit, that was pretty smart for the girlfriend to wait until he got better.
angrynegro7 16
Actually, she waited until the drugs causing the numbness wore off before she hit him.
millionaire93 0
that was ment for cheating women...fyi
CACC_fml 0
Lmao calm down this is over the internet loll we dont even know if this story is real jeez!