Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I had all of my wisdom teeth removed. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked how long the procedure took, and the nurse told me a little less than an hour. Apparently I thought this was hilarious and started laughing, which ripped my new stitches. FML
Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML
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Top comments
ohhjenn 0
you deserve it for being a cheater!
kcnutt10 1
**** YOUR life? No. YDI. You ******* douche! This may come as a shock to you, but women have feelings too. If you love or want to be with someone else, then just break-up with your girlfriend. It's that simple. Yea, it may cause her pain from the break-up, but not near as much pain if she realized you cheated on her. It's douche bags like you that make it hard for the few good men out there who actually respect women. Eat shit! I hope she dumped your sorry, pathetic ass.
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Comments (268)
Warlemming 7
Serves him right.
dynamic164 4
I sure hope that you weren't planning on receiving sympathy by posting it on here
everydayisfml07 3
you expect sympathy after you cheated on her? I say win for her, and I hope your gums bled afterwards, asshole.
panzer1102 0
This doesn't count as an FML!
msawesome7 0
ydi for cheating on her you jerk!!!!
waterdrops 0
laughing gas takes about 3 minutes to be cleared from your system so I call b.s. on the high excuse. Sounds like you just needed to clear your mind. YDI
spanelli 16
67- That rule hardly ever works. I don't even know why it's a rule...
ObsessedWithMe 13
huuuge YDI for being a jerk off.!!!!!!
ThatGuyYouDontKn 0
seriously dude FYL and YDI
DjeePee 25
Yes, I would think it's fine in some circumstances. Discovering that you have been repeatedly cheated on by someone who doesn't even apologize for it is one of them. I'm not a fan of slapping/punching people, but sometimes it's the only way to let them know that what they've done was very wrong and - for many people - unforgivable. But, there is a huge difference between one punch and beating the shit out of someone. One punch is understandable - even for the cheater (except in this FML, so it seems). Beating the shit out of someone is as worse as cheating. So no, breaking his jaw (I read this here. Wtf?) is unacceptable. And I make no difference between men and women. If I would have cheated, I would expect/deserve a slap.