Today, I ordered a surveillance camera for my home. The package got stolen after being delivered. I think they're onto me. FML
Today, I was really excited that I'd made it the two weeks I'd borrowed my mother-in-law's new car without putting a scratch on it. I got off work to discover a customer's child throwing rocks in the parking lot. They cracked the windshield. FML
Today, after months of riding a bike through the rain, I finally saved up enough for a car. It was a little aged, but ran fine. That is, until a tire blew out, the engine stalled, and the battery died within one week. FML
Today, we bought our first home after months of searching and years of saving. It's directly in the path of Hurricane Irma and may be destroyed before we even get the chance to move in. FML
Today, my husband and I left for a two-month trip. Our roommate called us after 16 hours of driving to inform us that our dog was attacked and sprayed by a skunk and had rubbed all over our stuff. He now has to get shots and be tested for rabies, and we have to toss all our furniture. FML
CreeptacularBait tells us more.
OP here. A bit appalled at how many people are berating me about his shots! My dog DOES have his rabies shots. He had to have boosters as per the Animal Control Officer who came out. Second, the 'testing' is actually officers coming out and checking my dogs behavior after a week (I was not informed of that till later and was terrified they might kill my dog). The skunk attacked him, chased him around the yard, sprayed him, and continued to try and attack him and our roommate for a week after the intial incident. Our roommate would go to take out the trash or walk the dogs and the skunk would charge her and the dogs. We put out traps to try and catch it humanely and had no luck. This skunk terrorized my poor dog to the point he started having night terrors and actually pissed himself in his sleepyelping and crying in fear. Luckily he is doing fine otherwise and even though he did not enjoy his boosters, he was fully covered by his Rabies vaccine. Our roommate has made sure to give him lots of cuddles and love to help soothe him. My husband was so angry about it he violently kicked in his sleep and said he dreamed about the skunk attacking our dog and was trying to protect him. Being away when this happened has sucked and our roommate was also kind enough to get our furniture cleaned so we wouldn't have to throw it all away but we did have to get rid of it in the end. I hope that clears up some of it but try not to jump to conclusions!
Today, I bought a delicious $17 lobster sandwich at a restaurant on the beach. The seagull who zoomed in and ripped it out of my hands as I was about to take the first bite seemed to enjoy it very much. FML
Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML
Today, I crashed into a pole on purpose as a cop pulled me over for speeding. I figured the officer would feel bad for me and that the cost of fixing my car would be less than a ticket. He gave me one anyway. FML
Today, I went to a friend's "party". Everyone bailed but my friend didn't say anything, so it's just me and my girl. The train tickets alone cost £20. FML
Today, I surprised my wife with a spa day during our mini vacation with the kids. I booked her a facial and mani/pedi at the resort, figuring I would take the kids while she relaxed. Her reaction? "I hate the spa. Why would you waste that money? I'm not going." FML
Today, while eating s'mores with my boyfriend's family, I misplaced my false tooth. With a team of flashlights and hurt pride, my expensive tooth was found. In dog shit. FML
Today, my neighbor that's going through a midlife crisis showed off his brand new Corvette. He did donuts on my lawn. FML
crawforda350 tells us more.
Today, the pair of solar eclipse glasses I ordered weeks ago arrived. I'm sure they'll come in handy for 2024. FML
Today, I put a magnet on my brand new car. I got rear-ended by someone who was trying to read it. FML
Today, my dad described our security cameras recording a stranger stealing money from his car, and then called me unhealthy and paranoid for locking my car all the time. My car is usually parked right next to his. FML
Today, my son ruined our fairly new 60 inch smart TV by giving it a bath with his squirt gun. FML
Today, I found the $3,200 engagement ring I dropped in my yard. I ran over it with my lawnmower. FML
Today, I bought a lottery ticket. Two hours ago, I found out that the ticket was worth $100. Five minutes ago, I found my dog eating it. FML
Today, I was excited by the thought of the bathroom in my rental being replaced after the plumber advised that the leak can't be easily fixed. Instead, the owner has decided to fully renovate and is kicking me out. FML
Today, I found out that because I, like many others, don't read the terms and conditions, I accidentally donated £200 to a charity because of a non-refundable payment on a volunteering trip. It's my parents' money. FML
Today, I had money set out to pay bills, for a gift, and to put in a card as my cousin's wedding gift. I was rushing and not paying attention and ended up putting all of the money in the wedding card. $400 from one person. I guess I'll have no cable or cell phone this month. FML
Today, my roommate forgot to pay the water bill on time, so they shut it off. Now we're without running water for 3 days and I'm taking my morning dump in Target next to a stranger. FML
Today, I signed the lease for a flat that a mate and I decided to move into. About five minutes after leaving the renting agency, I received a text from my mate saying he couldn't move in with me after all. I am now the happy tenant of a large inner city flat that I can't afford. FML
Today, I decided to be nice and "drop" a twenty in my grandma's house for her to find. She injured her back while picking it up. FML
Today, after rushing to the bus stop and frantically boarding at the last possible second, I realized that I didn't pay my fare with a single, but a twenty. FML
Today, I bought a new bike from a sporting goods store. I secured the bike in the back seat and slammed the door shut, but I didn't pay close enough attention to the placement of the handlebars. I had to return the bike to pay for the shattered window. FML
Today, I woke up to a bunch of missed calls from a number I didn't know. I had called an Uber in my sleep. They charged a cancellation fee. FML
Today, I woke up to the rickety old ceiling fan above my bed crashing down on top of me. I'm fine, however I am now grounded until I can buy a new ceiling fan to replace the one I "broke". FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend a few years after I slept with his boss and got him fired. He is now a multi-millionaire investor and won't take me back. FML
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