Today, my furnace broke down, almost a month after its twenty year warranty expired. It would have been replaced for free. Now I'm going to have to take out a loan to afford the $4,000 replacement. FML
Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML
Cooked
Today, I missed out on my first cooking lesson because I was an hour late. I cannot go to the rest of them because if you don't attend the first class then you are not allowed to attend the rest. I just spent $70 on a cooking course that I won't be able to attend. FML
Protip
Today, I babysat a 10-year-old and we played Pokémon. It was my first time playing, so he showed me. I ended up winning and the kid started crying and told his parents he hated me. They decided not to pay me for the night, and now I'm out of a job. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my mom, when I saw a little pamphlet about a charity for abused children. I showed her and said I was going to donate a few dollars. She quickly said no, calling it a waste of money and muttering that the kids probably deserved it anyway. FML
Debt
Today, after weeks of asking, I was finally given my debit card back from my parents. They’ve spent over $1000 and now I’m scared to know how much I have left. There was no mention of a reimbursement either. FML
Feed me!
Today, my Visa card randomly stopped working. I have no other way of getting money or paying for anything. I was going to buy next week's food tomorrow, but I guess I'll just starve instead. FML
Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML
Today, I went to the mall to pick up the 1 carat diamond my husband recently purchased for me after 6 years of being together. My mom called, I answered my cell. Later, I realized that the baggie with the diamond was no longer in my pocket. It fell out when I answered my phone. FML
jeffswife tells us more.
Lol! Despite all the mean comments, I thought I would clarify a few things. #1 I am completely aware that I deserved it. #2 The whole reason I had the diamond in a baggie in my pocket was that I had JUST picked it up from the store. We were not buying their solitaire mounting, because I already had another setting picked out at a different store. #3 My mom was babysitting my son, and had taken him on an hour long drive, so I was waiting at the mall for her to come back, she would call me when she got home. I went across the way to the Apple Store, and I was only there for about half an hour when she called me, and I took out my phone. #4 I don't own a handbag! I'm not a girly girl and I hate purses. The good news: I filed a police report to get the footage from the Apple Store. They caught the person who didn't turn it in. =P KARRRMA. They had already sold it, but my insurance is replacing it. Also, anyone who thinks this is something to get divorced over...you are ridiculous. =] My husband and I are very much in love, and we have a beautiful baby boy together. These are petty little things. Money comes and goes, and it is not worth fighting over.
Today, I got a ticket for doing 38mph in a 45mph zone. Apparently you can be cited for "impeding traffic" even when you're the only car on the road. FML
Today, I got into a very intense fight with my roommate about rent payment. She got so angry that she snatched my purse, walked out into the hallway and threw it down the garbage chute. Along with my money, my driver's licence, my credit cards, and my monthly paycheck was in that purse. FML
Crackers
Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML
Almost made it
Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML
Inflation blows
Today, I decided I don’t need to restrict my consumption of shrimp anymore, which I used to do because they are so expensive. So, did I finally land a well-paying job? Nope. It's just that all the other kinds of seafood have risen so much in price that it doesn’t make any difference now. FML
Today, I submitted some honest negative feedback to the customer service team of all my favourite games, Today is also the day all my accounts got permanently banned from my console and I have lost all my progress. Bye bye 22 years. FML
Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML
In this economy?
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Smart
Today, I went on a date, the first one I've been on since my last boyfriend broke up with me 6 months ago. We were at a restaurant, and at the end of meal he insisted on paying the bill. He wanted to leave a 15% tip but couldn't work out in his head how much to leave. The bill was for £100. FML
Nice guys
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend handed me this month’s rental statement with “Paid” written in red ink. He says it’s my gift, because, "that shit adds up every month" and I should be "grateful" that I have a roof over my head for another month instead of being "materialistic." FML
Today, the day before I'm supposed to leave for a long-anticipated trip to Europe, my mother admitted that she's never paid for it. She only told me she did so I would stop hinting that I wanted to go. I gave up Christmas for this trip. FML
MyUsernameIsBest tells us more.
Hello all, OP here! :] I must say that I am so surprised that my late night ranting on FML made it on the site. XD Well I thought I'd elaborate a bit. x] First of all, it was a trip with my high school AP European History class to Italy and France. It was all planned out, everything was included in what we pay online, and I already had gotten my passport. I got a part time job early last year when I found out about it to help pay for the trip, and I earned almost $850 to put towards funding it, as well as earned my own spending money. I had to give her the money because the tickets were being paid for from her account. I have no clue what happened to the money I gave my mom for the trip, but for the record she was not supposed to pay for the entire trip. A few days after I gave her the money I had earned, she texted me while I was at school telling me that she had signed me up for the trip and that it was paid for, so I stopped reminding her about it. She had already told me that if I helped earn money for the trip I could go. Secondly, the "I gave up Christmas" part referred to the fact that I agreed with my parents that I would be willing to give up getting presents on Christmas this year and the last to somewhat make up for the money they were putting towards this trip. On Christmas last year I got nothing, but I was fine with it because I was expecting to be going on this trip. They didn't tell me then that I wasn't going, they just didn't get me anything and let me keep believing. Thirdly, by "hinting", I literally just meant occasionally hinting that I wanted to go on the trip. I left the brochure laying around, forwarded emails from my teacher about fundraising options, mentioned it when my mother asked about my day at school etc. Anyone who knows me knows I'm a dang coward about inconveniencing people, never asking for things, never getting in people's way and always trying to avoid causing them trouble.. But when I realized I really wanted to go on this trip, I went about hinting about it, I wouldn't say that I was pestering her all that much. x] I did remind her about paying, but only after she told me I could go if I got a job to help pay for it. :P On the bright side, at least I have the spending money I saved up. :P
Today, it's been two weeks since I honked, screamed, and cussed at a cyclist on the road. Since then, my car has been keyed, my tires have been slashed, bricks have been thrown at my windows, and my number has been put on Craigslist as a gay prostitute. FML
Today, I’m starting my 28th year with 28 cents on my bank account. FML
Dodgy
Today, I got a letter from a hostel I stayed at saying they were going to sue me for leaving them a negative Google review. I was the victim of a $7000 theft crime there. They refused to call the police and ambulance when it happened, and they didn’t even give me my money I paid to stay there back. FML
Today, my date refused to pay for my dinner, even though he promised to beforehand. It turns out, he assumed I would just be ordering a salad for dinner, "based on your slim figure". FML
Cough it up
Today, my parents took me out to eat. When the bill came, they stared at me for a while before asking, “Aren’t you gonna pay?” They've never made me pay before, there was no indication that I’d have to pay this time, and I’d left my wallet at home. FML
Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML
Today, I left for college. I spent hundreds of dollars on clothes, bedding and other things. After packing my entire closet and everything else I needed, I left only to have to head back home. My dad forgot to pay the first semesters tuition. He said "Oh well, you would have failed out anyway." FML
Rip off
Today, I learned that my daughter pocketed the money I'd paid so she could go to college. FML
Desperate
Today, I was looking for a job. I was so desperate for gas money to drive around town that I had to steal $20 from my sister. She's only 10 years old. FML
Thanks, I hate it
Today, I received a promotional message offering a half-off deal on an expensive coffee maker. The only reason why I received the message is because I bought that same coffee maker yesterday and I signed up to their mailing list. FML