Anonymous
·
17 October 2023, 22:00
· Dawson, United States
Travel plans shelved
Today, I found out the passport office sent my passport to the wrong address. They sent it all to my ex-wife (currently separated) who is now asking for money in exchange for the documents, as well as me signing a divorce that she hasn't started. I'm from Australia; I can't go see my family because of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks
923
You deserved it
150
Anonymous
·
17 October 2023, 20:00
Not again
Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my parents, thinking they’d be excited. Instead, they gave me 30 days to find a new place, saying they refuse to raise “any more of your children.” FML
I agree, your life sucks
123
You deserved it
2 837
Flabbergast
·
17 October 2023, 12:30
Another casualty
Today, my fiancé seriously used the war in Israel/Palestine to call off our engagement. We had different opinions, so he asked for the ring back and stormed out of our apartment. Turns out, he used this as a ticket out because he was seeing someone else and didn’t “wanna hurt my feelings” by confessing. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1 012
You deserved it
143
UGHHHH
·
17 October 2023, 00:02
Alexa, play "Why Can't I Be You?" by The Cure
Today, my best friend and longtime crush actually said the words, “Why can’t I find a girl like you?” I told him, “I'm a girl like me, am I not enough?” He winced, hemmed and hawed at the answer, then quickly changed the subject. FML
I agree, your life sucks
995
You deserved it
226
Anonymous
·
16 October 2023, 22:00
Man's best friend
Today, my estranged husband told me he’s sad that he lost the dog. He didn’t mention anything about losing me, his wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks
467
You deserved it
477
Umm... OK?
·
16 October 2023, 18:00
Weird assumption
Today, my best friend has blocked or ghosted me on everything. Why? She showed me her plan for getting her life back on track. I pointed out that her creepy, controlling boyfriend would never allow her to do any of it. Somehow, she took that to mean that I'm in love with her, and that I'm trying to break them up on purpose. FML
I agree, your life sucks
967
You deserved it
133
Anonymous
·
16 October 2023, 13:00
Relationship specialist
Today, I attended a family reunion, during which my grandma gave me "relationship advice" in front of everyone. She's been married five times, and her longest marriage lasted a whole 6 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks
695
You deserved it
92
Anonymous
·
16 October 2023, 00:02
Crushed
Today, I realized I have a crush on one of my co-workers. I’m married. I would never ever act on it but it’s really scaring me that I have these feelings and can’t make them go away. FML
I agree, your life sucks
723
You deserved it
210
T……
·
15 October 2023, 00:02
Sharing is caring
Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit because I snatched a couple of her fries for myself. She regularly raids my snacks, takes food off my plate, and has even stolen my work lunches, but a couple of fries is too much to ask. FML
I agree, your life sucks
751
You deserved it
150
Anonymous
·
14 October 2023, 12:30
· Stanford, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Supportive
Today, my boyfriend of 8 months was having a really bad day at work. Thinking I would cheer him up a bit, I send him a picture of myself while I was changing. His response? He dumped me. He said it was unprofessional and immature of me to do that. He works in the middle of nowhere, by himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks
703
You deserved it
181
i got the ring
·
13 October 2023, 20:00
Self report
Today, I told my husband’s ex that she is under no circumstances to contact him for any reason, and that if they must discuss the kids being dropped off, I am to be included as a group text. Her reply? A bunch of laughing emojis. Now he’s pissed at me for trying to protect our marriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks
142
You deserved it
2 228
Anonymous
·
13 October 2023, 18:00
🌶️ Spicy
The old ball and chain
Today, just after got home, my husband, instead of offering to cook dinner or massage my feet, said, "Does this look a funny colour to you?" and showed me a selfie of his asshole. And yes, it did, so of course I had to book a doctor's appointment for him because he can’t even do that by himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks
803
You deserved it
306
Anonymous
·
13 October 2023, 11:30
· Aiken, United States
Trigger warning
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend and I told him that I was going to tickle him, to which he responded me how he’d “crack” me in the head so that I’d never even think about tickling him again. It threw me into a panic attack and people laughed. I’m a survivor of domestic violence. FML
I agree, your life sucks
875
You deserved it
264
Anonymous
·
12 October 2023, 18:00
Three's company
Today, it was the marathon. My girlfriend, has a unique name spelling, ran and I cheered and passed her supplies at two different mile markers. I then noticed a guy I’d never met who had signs with her name at the same mile markers. She was too lazy to split up both her boyfriend’s mile markers. FML
I agree, your life sucks
903
You deserved it
100
Anonymous
·
12 October 2023, 14:00
· Phoenix, United States
Breaking news
Today, while at a family dinner, my boyfriend's family explained how he needs to learn family recipes to pass down to his future children. He responded, "Why would I ever start a family? I hate kids." I'm currently seven weeks pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks
733
You deserved it
439
Anonymous
·
12 October 2023, 08:06
· Augusta, United States
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because of a video game. Not that I was playing the game too much, but because she got addicted to it and decided that the game was more important than our relationship. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2 847
You deserved it
372
TheBigSneeze tells us more.
Kye Hooper
·
12 October 2023, 00:02
· Perth, Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Independance, now!
Today, I found out that my partner doesn't ever want sex from me again. I'm too broke to leave her, so I guess my sex life is over. FML
I agree, your life sucks
511
You deserved it
260
getmoneyab
·
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
· Mexico
Suave
Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML
I agree, your life sucks
9 927
You deserved it
68 531
D J's MOM
·
11 October 2023, 14:07
· Glenview, United States
So romantic
Today, I came home to a complete asshole. I didn't remember it was the anniversary of his late wife's death. from like 2009, whom I never met. The same ass who got mad at me for being sad for too long because my dad died last July. BTW, after I finally fix my credit, I'm out. FML
I agree, your life sucks
957
You deserved it
311
Love Stanks
·
11 October 2023, 12:30
Thank you for being a friend
Today, the guy I like, who told me he “is trying to heal from his divorce,” just got a girlfriend. He calls her “the one that made me believe in love again.” I spent almost a year being a friend, supporting his every need, and hopelessly holding it down for him. Good to know I’m not good enough and never will be. FML
I agree, your life sucks
339
You deserved it
689
marrying this man
·
10 October 2023, 07:30
That escalated quickly
Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML
I agree, your life sucks
866
You deserved it
300
Anonymous
·
9 October 2023, 15:00
Red flags everywhere
Today, my wife started finding everything I do annoying, just after she passed her American citizenship test. I hope there’s no correlation between that and the eight years of support. FML
I agree, your life sucks
872
You deserved it
211
safety first
·
8 October 2023, 22:00
🌶️ Spicy
Red flag
Today, my boyfriend told me that having my own condoms is unattractive, emasculating, and a turn off. According to him it's the man’s responsibility to provide the protection, and the fact that I have my own means I must have been very promiscuous if I needed to have them on hand. I’m allergic to the pill. FML
I agree, your life sucks
794
You deserved it
191
hudd357mag
·
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
· United States
Crossed wires
Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks
34 781
You deserved it
2 535
Anonymous
·
8 October 2023, 07:30
Teenage riot
Today, my daughter came to me crying because the boy she’s been rejecting for 8 months stopped asking her out, and is now dating someone else. Apparently she secretly liked him and is mad he gave up. That boy dodged a bullet, but I still have to put up with her crazy ass though. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1 114
You deserved it
311
Anonymous
·
7 October 2023, 20:00
· Germany
HAZARDOUS WASTE!
Today, my mom tried to keep her boyfriend from indiscriminately devouring my personal things in the fridge. So, instead of just sticking a note with my name on them, the lids of my jars of homemade pesto are now decorated in sharpie with a motif of “NO! DO NOT EAT!” FML
I agree, your life sucks
558
You deserved it
136
Anonymous
·
6 October 2023, 12:30
🌶️ Spicy
Time to GTFO
Today, my girlfriend cheated on me, and for the second time in two days. She has now cheated a total of 7 times in the space of 6 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks
292
You deserved it
1 184
Anonymous
·
6 October 2023, 05:00
· Australia
Upping the stakes
Today, I was at a wedding and caught the bouquet. My boyfriend of five years panicked and proposed on the spot, thinking I was hinting at something. I just wanted to catch some flowers, but I had to tell him to get a grip without hurting his feelings. FML
I agree, your life sucks
415
You deserved it
724
Mike55
·
5 October 2023, 21:30
That sucks
Today, I set out to clean the house while my wife was at work. Starting with the vacuum cleaner, it suddenly started making a strange noise and emitting a burning smell. Panicking, I unplugged it and noticed one of our toddler's socks had been sucked into it, causing it to overheat. I managed to extract the sock, but now our expensive vacuum cleaner is toast. FML
I agree, your life sucks
635
You deserved it
211
Anonymous
·
5 October 2023, 16:30
Magpie eyes
Today, I spent an hour making my favorite work lunches, then portioning them out so I could have them all week. I later came home to a pile of empty containers. My girlfriend said, "Sorry, I got the munchies. Also, can you please do the dishes?" FML
I agree, your life sucks
1 111
You deserved it
165
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