Nearly FMLs

By KDAshe - 18/10/2018 11:42 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my delusional mother kicked me out of the house for good because "I'm not stupid, I know your bullshitting me" all because I couldn't download a TV series on the internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 3

By Lil Mouse Isa - 18/10/2018 04:46

Today, while at my Aunt's for a family gathering, I clogged the toilet. I told my Aunt so she could bring me the plunger. She none too subtly told Uncle to get the plunger because I clogged the toilet in front of everyone. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 18/10/2018 00:48

Today my whole class failed the anatomy exam. Why? We only answered those questions in Latin if it was specifically asked. Before the exam the teacher had said we should do it this way. He refuses to change our marks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 1

By Court - 17/10/2018 22:52

Today, I was sitting at my cubical at work and was bored so I was looking up Halloween costume ideas. Someone posted a very realistic uncircumcised penis mask and an employee walked past and saw it as soon as it was on my computer screen. I'm now the weird pervert in my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 20

By Sarah Lyn Guillen - 17/10/2018 07:08

Today, I had my first ever one night stand. I haven't been intimate with anyone in over four years. When we finally did it, he lasted about a minute. I didn't even orgasm, and it hurt. Worst lay I ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 10

By Harrison Van Dueck - 17/10/2018 02:42

Today, I got home from work just wanting to chill out and not 20 minutes being back my mum called me and said she had forgotten her purse. I went to drop it off (walking) and get every passing car/pedestrian looked at me. To end it off, a cop pulled over to talk me as he thought I stole it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 16/10/2018 15:16 - United States - Eight Mile

Today, my math professor said someone in the class made a 44% on the homework so he reopened the homework. That person is me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 7

By Hannah - 16/10/2018 22:10

Today I just found out that my lab partner had picked up my lab book which wouldn't normally be a problem. But unfortunately it was supposed to be left to be marked so now I suppose I'll just get zero for two practicals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 3

By bridgetmini - 15/10/2018 13:43 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, I was dog sitting my brothers dog even though he knew I had surgery. She was laying on me fine and dandy until she freaked out and stepped directly on my incisions and swollen knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 4

By Anon8897 - 15/10/2018 21:09

Today I asked my boyfriend to manscape, as it has gotten really out of hand and im not one for hair. He got mad at me and continued to have an attitude the rest of the night. He told me the only reason he doesn't do it is because he is too lazy and it is too much work... FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 19

By Lisa - 15/10/2018 20:49

Today, two days before going to the concert of my favourite band that I have waited 5 years for and can only attend thanks to the grace of a friend I've never met before, my back decides this will be a good time to get stuck. I can barely walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 14/10/2018 22:43 - United States - Oldsmar

Today I discovered my husband’s secret twitter account thanks to his new “girlfriend “ sending me screenshots of their “relationship “. This is the man who claims he has no friends. Did I mention the “girlfriend”s name is Marcus?!?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 2

By KaD - 14/10/2018 20:38

Today, I went out to gather the fruits of putting in a garden before the frost. In spite of being in the desert, it's rained for 3 weeks. The ground is too saturated to get anything out. It's all going to rot out there. 6000 pounds of soil shoveled by hand- for nothing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 3

By ihavenolife - 14/10/2018 19:38

TodayI finally got payed my pay check, worth $10k. It got onto my ex-girlfriends account, and she wouldnt give me the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 8

By Ubird - 14/10/2018 17:34

Today I was in a car crash. The worst thing was, that it was in front of the graveyard after the burial of my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 2

By Lisa - 14/10/2018 08:10

Today, after having had a discussion with a married friend the night before about why I wouldn't want to be in an open relationship with him and his wife, another taken man who I saw as a friend asked me if I wanted to be in an open relationship with him and his gf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 2

By Anon - 14/10/2018 06:39

Today the girl I have a crush on went on her first date with my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 2

By Hippyk - 14/10/2018 03:06

Today I was blindsighted as my boss terminated me from my dream job, the reason, I interuped someone. I didn't even know I did but sure am sorry now. I have a 12 month lease and the town is too small and no one will hire me. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 5

By Shaking my head - 14/10/2018 08:22 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was finishing my woodwork project (building a phone docking station) that I’ve hated working on the last few months. I just had to use a clamp to spend two minutes touching up the wood before finishing, when I crushed the electrical component of the dock in the clamp. It’s useless now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 11

By sad mommy - 13/10/2018 14:07 - United States - Hesperia

Today I tried to be the bigger person and sent my ex’s family pictures of the kids. They completely cropped my daughter out of every single picture yet proudly posted pics of my son all over their Facebook and Instagram. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 3

By Unpainted - 13/10/2018 07:43 - United States - Honolulu

Today, the painter I’ve been waiting for over a month finally showed up. Only to say that he’s going home because he can’t find a parking spot in my street. When I called his boss to complain about him, he took the painter’s side. I don’t own any parking spots, so hello unpainted wall forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 5

By poor dad - 13/10/2018 16:54

Today I found out that my child support payments will be about as much as one bi-weekly paycheck. Rent is more than a paycheck. My ex gets paid almost twice what I make with a boyfriend that makes about the same as her. We’re divorcing because she cheated on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 4

By Happyperiod! - 13/10/2018 15:01

Today, I woke up to a birthday breakfast in bed. A few minutes later I got my first gift: crippling period pain, a few days early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 1

By Anonymouseeeee - 13/10/2018 13:29

Today, it's my last day I get to spend with my boyfriend. We typically only get one day a week together, I'm currently stuck on the toilet with a UTI unable to leave the bathroom. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 5

By greeeat - 13/10/2018 08:54

Today, I had to go to the hospital because I was in excruciating pain. Not only did I find out I was passing a kidney stone, I also found out I have herpes. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 2

By AlreadyGotTheDivorcePapers - 13/10/2018 05:00

Today, I heard my husband repeating the name “Kristen” in his sleep. I’m not Kristen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 176

You deserved it 135

By Eak - 13/10/2018 02:10

Today, whilst having a clear out my husband got mad at me for having more stuff than him. His hobby is computer games, mine are crochet and sewing, which I now have to do without any wool, fabric or other equipment. I've only been allowed to keep my sewing machine and can't get any replacements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 7

By "Chris Chandler" - 12/10/2018 20:04

Today, I had a dream about using the bathroom. Apparently, that dream means "You just wet the bed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 6

By Nikiwindow - 12/10/2018 06:50

Today the men came to measure our windows. They come when they can so we had no advanced notice. I waved them up without thinking, forgetting my husband had laid out all our bondage gear and sex toys for cleaning. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 25

By sare - 12/10/2018 05:02

Today, my daughter told me she wants another mom for her birthday. she will be 6 in 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 3

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I had the abortion my husband and I agreed on, after multiple forms of birth control failed. His family somehow found out, and now they're all mad at us for not telling them I was ever pregnant, with a child we never wanted, and took precautions to avoid creating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 199

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 244

You deserved it 4 039

Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 328

You deserved it 18 803

Today, I went to the cinema with a girl I like. Knowing she has a bit of a soft spot for me, I was keen to sit in the back row. Too bad her sister tagged along, insisted that we sit somewhere else, and scolded me every time I so much looked at her. I ended up paying for the unwanted guest as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 899

You deserved it 5 066

Today, I bought a tail for my girlfriend to dress as a cat at a hen party. She put the box in her suitcase, then left to catch her plane. I checked my purchase history and realised it's a cat tail butt plug. Now she keeps ringing me, but I'm too chicken to answer the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 433

You deserved it 5 230

They try so hard!

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 74