Nearly FMLs

By HJonly - 01/10/2018 01:21

Today, I stepped on a 3in long rusty nail. After removing the board and my blood soaked shoes, I informed my boyfriend and his worried family that I did not need a tetanus shot as I had had one, not two years earlier, for a rusty piece of metal in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 3

By xAndreix - 30/09/2018 21:48

Today, I went with my company to the Golden Sands. On the first night, while walking back to the hotel, I fell on the stairs, hitting my nose and right eye. That happened right before I got lost, because my colleagues picked up the pace and forgot about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 2

By skinnyandsick - 30/09/2018 19:31

Today, after weeks of binge eating to gain weight for an upcoming blood drive, I started having digestive symptoms. Turns out, it’s a serious problem that will affect me for the rest of my life. Also, I gained 0 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 30/09/2018 11:37 - United States - Niceville

Today, I finally told my mom that I may have anxiety, as research of my own leads to many of the symptoms that I clearly have and just at times feel like disappearing. She then told me that school is just making me tired and I need to suck it up for the rest of the year. I'm a freshman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 29/09/2018 23:58 - United States - Elkridge

Today, I got to page 6 of my 10 page paper due tomorrow and no my computer refuses to open the document. I’ve googled and tried everything and nothing will work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 4

By Living with BF and Fam - 29/09/2018 22:31

Today, my boyfriend forgot to lock our bedroom door behind him and I didn’t know. I got completely undressed except for my underwear and then his mom burst in without even knocking because she wanted to ask him something. I’m pissed off and embarrassed. She drives me to work every morning. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 29/09/2018 21:22 - Australia - Corio

Today, I got to marry my gorgeous husband. I couldn’t help thinking how handsome he looked when I walked towards him down the aisle. When I asked what his first thought of me was he answered with “your boobs looked great”. $7000 on a dress well spent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 29

By Anonymous - 29/09/2018 11:22

Today, I found out my girlfriend of one year is cheating on me with my best friend, I found out by seeing a text he sent to her phone when we were on a date for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 3

By Liz - 29/09/2018 10:09

Today, I am 36 weeks and 2 days pregnant. None of my family showed up to my baby shower out of 37 invitations sent two months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 28/09/2018 22:57 - United States - Mead

Today, while at work, my coworkers and I packaged about 700 cinnamon rolls. We have a wrapping machine so we can wrap them. We only got to wrap 150 rolls before the fuse blew on the motor to pull the plastic. We have a $5000 order to go out by Sunday, and we barely started on that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 28/09/2018 19:31 - Australia

Today, while walking home from the pub after a few drinks, some guy tried bumming a smoke off me. I said no, he then proceeded to hit me leaving me with a fractured skull, 2 days before I was supposed to drive out of this hell hole town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 5

By kj - 28/09/2018 18:34

Today, I asked my husband to get groceries. He came back with groceries and a Japanese katana. I don’t even want to know how much it cost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 5

By WorstLuckEver - 28/09/2018 15:53

Today, I had booked a room to conduct a timed video interview with at my university. As I tried to answer the first question, somebody burst into the room demanding to use it. I spent a minute explaining the situation to him by which time had run out, submitting a blank answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 6

By shinymcface - 28/09/2018 05:34

Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend left for Marine Corps boot camp, and my mom blocked me on instagram. Happy birthday to me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 28/09/2018 03:31

Today, after a very stressful day at my dead-end job, I went home looking forward to continuing with a video game I was really into. I then remembered that I completed the game yesterday. I started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 12

By Kidsaresofun - 28/09/2018 03:12

Today I finally got another medicine to help me sleep after months of insomnia. Because of this I'm having a burn-out and panic attacks. I was so hoping for a good night's sleep and I did until my 2 year old thought 2 am means morning and won't go back to sleep. It's going to be a long night FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 5

By Good Boy - 27/09/2018 23:26

Today, just after letting my dogs inside, I decided to take a shower. Just after getting out, I stepped in a present from my dog, a nice warm pile of crap. After getting cleaned up from that mess, I slipped in a puddle of piss in the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 15

By Anonymous Panda - 27/09/2018 20:39

Today... it’s 10am. I’m at work and I’m on my period. I go to the restroom to take out my tampon and a big blood just plops onto my pants..... my khaki pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 8

By Pootis - 27/09/2018 15:54

Today I was waiting for the tempered glass I ordered for my phone. The last 3 times I ordered, they didn't match my phone. When I received it, it didn't match. So I got super pissed and accidentally dropped my phone and the glass shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 31

By bananastrodle - 27/09/2018 14:53

Today, while at my physiatrist I was telling him the reason why at fourteen years old I couldn't read and how my parents and the teachers at school never taught me. he proceeded it with "well that sucks but you really should try reading a book sometimes". FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 9

By xercer - 27/09/2018 03:16 - United States - Tucson

Today, I woke up from a nightmare and had to pee really badly. I had to carefully move off of my bed in the dark. I started walking to the light switch to turn it on, but I tripped and fell on my face and pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 5

By Softbaby - 27/09/2018 20:56 - New Zealand - Mairangi Bay

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when he tried to spice things up by changing positions. His hand completely missed where it was supposed to go and he ended up punching my nose and causing a nose bleed... Fml

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 4

By wasting_the_midnight_oil - 27/09/2018 02:36 - United States - Mims

Today, I was so tired while studying that when I went to look something up using the index of my textbook, it took me five minutes to realize I had been searching for the word 'index', FML.

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 16

By FloridaGirl03 - 27/09/2018 06:45

Today, while looking for money along with pictures of my grandma who's deceased, I found my mother's anal beads and her rabbit vibrator... I can never unsee that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 34

By Anonymous - 26/09/2018 22:04 - United States - Boise

Today, I had sex with this cute girl then I found out she is my step sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 12

By hannieannie - 26/09/2018 23:12 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, my boyfriend was really horny. So I got undressed ready to have sex with him. As soon as he looked at me naked, he suddenly wasn’t in the mood. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 26/09/2018 22:13 - United Kingdom - Bodmin

Today, I mark 10 years that I've been on the pill. I'm still a virgin. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 5

By CommuterLR1 - 26/09/2018 21:26 - United Kingdom - Chelmsford

Today, whilst on the underground, the train jolted unexpectedly. I instinctively blindly grabbed the nearest thing to me: a man's boob. #himtoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 10

By Doze - 26/09/2018 15:03 - Estonia - Tallinn

Today, I discovered that, the romantic parents' trip was upgraded to the family trip to celebrate my brother's birthday. Everybody in my family and their spouses were invited, but only me with my girlfriend were left out. Reason, I have to keep an eye on the family house. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 3

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 555

You deserved it 3 105

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 940

You deserved it 5 397

Today, I was brutally dumped over webcam, by my boyfriend, who was taking a dump with the laptop on his lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 970

You deserved it 2 891

Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 411

You deserved it 2 611

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 667

You deserved it 2 555

Today, my ex is calling everyone I know, telling them I ruined her life. I'm not built for serious relationships, I was very open with her about that, the moment stuff gets serious I freak out, yet she chased me at every stage, then blamed me when I couldn't handle her demands for serious commitment, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 499