Nearly FMLs

By sleep - 12/10/2018 04:22

Today, I had a physics test and was feeling tired, so I tried drinking coffee before. I then became so tired that I fell asleep while in the middle of taking my test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 7

By "Phil" - 12/10/2018 02:04

Today, this really cute guy, whom I know and I finally went out and had a few drinks. Anyway, he had kind of been giving me signals that I had a shot with him before that. After a bit he tells me that he owes me an apology. Seems that all he was trying to do, was get rid of a girl he didn't like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 8

By SecurityBreach - 11/10/2018 16:16 - United States - Raleigh

Today, my mother-in-law showed up out of the blue at my workplace for an afternoon shift. Five months ago, my husband and I laid some very clear boundaries for his parents and restricted contact to our own terms. She knows I've worked here for a year, but tried to play it off as coincidence. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 5

By Newbop - 11/10/2018 21:56

Today, at a concert, Brent Smith scolded a guy for yawning. After a few songs, while performing Simple Man, he looks in my direction twice and I yawned both times. He made eye contact and shook his head like I had just insulted his entire ancestry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 11/10/2018 19:51

Today, I finally got my check 10 days later. it was $23. I worked a 40+ hour week, and have utility bills coming up tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 3

By Fool - 11/10/2018 14:19

Today, after helping my boyfriend stay clean for months and paying his half of the rent until he got back on his feet, he moved out after telling me he appreciated all my help. Because now he "can get high without getting sick.". FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 7

By TellMeImAWreck - 11/10/2018 12:55

Today, my car blew up. Two weeks after dropping $400 into repairs following an uninsured driver running a stop sign that wrecked the whole front end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 10/10/2018 19:55

Today, my schedule at work changed. Also today, I had to call in sick for work for the fourth Wednesday. Each Wednesday, I've had a different reason. I'm 90% sure my boss thinks I'm just making up excuses at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 6

By yikes - 10/10/2018 19:43

Today, while driving to work, two birds flew across the street in front of my car. Only one made it across. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 5

By kqwarrior - 10/10/2018 10:08

Today, I’ve had the worst case of insomnia I’ve experienced. It’s 4 am and I have the PSAT, which I’ve been preparing for 6 months, in 4 hours. Turns out a side effect of Mucinex D is bad insomnia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 13

By Areyouseriousrightnow - 10/10/2018 06:44

Today my husband threatened to divorce me because I "don't do anything". I am currently recovering from major surgery and looking after our newborn son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 3

By Ally2020 - 10/10/2018 05:02

Today, I hate myself. For my PHI class instead of us using our student ID numbers our teacher gave us numbers which we had to look up in the grade book online. My number is 528 but my dyslexic ass read it wrong, so I've been using 258 for the exam and quizzes so I have a 0% at midterm?. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 12

By Family Loser - 10/10/2018 10:54 - Philippines - Taguig

Today, I attended a family reunion. Upon arrival, I overheard my cousin pointing at me saying "Nah! Don't bother him, he's voted 'least likely to succeed' to our other relatives." I'm 28, a doctor, and arrived in a McLaren. He's 36, a drug addict, and a bum that mooches off of his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 8

By Bad luck mama - 10/10/2018 04:24

Today, I went back to the hospital with an infection after my cesarean last week. I've only been out of hospital for 24 hours. They put me back in the same ward. In the same room. At least people will know where to find me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 2

By Cleanup My Mess - 10/10/2018 03:17

Today, I was masturbating after 2 weeks of nothing. Just as I was releasing a long overdue load, my puppy walked in front of me and caught everything. Frightened, he pooped and ran around the house, getting cum and poop everywhere. My parents come home from work in 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 57

By Brokeisnojoke - 10/10/2018 02:22

Today I am not allowed to leave my apartment, even for food, so I decided to order delivery with my last $10. Turns out my new address was not updated, no one can get ahold of the driver, and now my food will never be seen again because the restaurant cannot do anything about it either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 13

By Anonymous - 09/10/2018 18:31

Today, I couldn’t get anyone to take my place at the cash register at work so I peed on myself just in time for someone to walk up to relieve me... I already relieved myself.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 11

By "Savviecat97" - 09/10/2018 06:50

Today, the psychiatrist's office wouldn't allow my husband to make me an appointment without verbal consent. My anxiety has gotten so bad that I can't even make a phone call. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 6

By BirthdayGirl - 09/10/2018 06:15

Today is my birthday, but I'm not spending it with friends or family. No, I was in the ER because a sudden, unexplained episode of rectal bleeding. Instead of a party, I have to have a rectal exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 0

By DoorMat - 09/10/2018 04:58

Today, my friend came to visit and spend the night. She smelled like actual death, and hadn’t showered/changed clothes/used deodorant in weeks. She borrowed blankets and a shirt, but I’ll never get the smell out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 08/10/2018 22:24 - United States - York

Today I had a Machine Design exam. Normally, my laptop's alarm wakes me up, but I learned that it's hard drive is completely busted, so I had no alarm. I arrived at the class an hour late due to sleeping in. Despite making it to the class, I was not allowed to take the exam at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 25

By Kill_me - 08/10/2018 07:58

Today was my first day on my first job. After a while I stood up to go to the bathroom. To my horror, I then noticed a big menstrual blood stain on my chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 3

By Sidneymarie - 08/10/2018 12:27 - Australia - Park Holme

Today, my friend went home after sleeping over. She either pissed on my bed and didn't tell me or she was really badly sweating. But I can't get the smell out. I've scrubbed it for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 0

By Kurtman03 - 07/10/2018 19:05

Today, after getting off my first training shift at a new bar. I was hit by a guy and totaled my truck, then later as my roommate was driving me to get the stuff out my truck we got rear ended... FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 0

By footballwidow - 07/10/2018 04:27

Today, and all fall, I have lost my husband to the tv because of football. However, he is mad at me for being stressed and overworked because I am doing all the chores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 1

By Too fat for you - 06/10/2018 20:34 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that he would have more sex with me if I were skinnier and hotter.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 13

By Anonymous - 06/10/2018 20:20 - Australia

Today, while swimming with a close friend, they look right at me and vomited... a little bit got in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 07/10/2018 01:55

Today, I was informed my mobile provider blocked my phone as I refused to pay the bill. They accused me of making some calls from Switzerland. Well, it’s hard to make a phone call from there if you are few hundred miles away in another country taking an exam. Guess the case will go to court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 2

By Ouch - 06/10/2018 23:01

Today, I have a migraine. I also had one yesterday. And the day before. My doctor tried about six different medications and several tests and yet still can't figure it out. I hope the next doctor can, because this one gave up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 1

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the second time. He's really nice, but he's terrible in bed. He busted a nut 3 times before I could orgasm once, and he can't finger to make up for it. His foreplay is trash. I'm starting to lose feelings for him because of the lack of sexual satisfaction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 032

You deserved it 888

Today, I heard my son use the word "exacerbated". I had to look it up to see if he had correctly used it, which he had, because I couldn't remember what it meant. I'll be 23 next week. He's not even 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 932

You deserved it 3 021

Today, I decided to reach out to someone I'd met randomly. I found them on social media and sent them a message. After telling my SO, he pointed out that that was stalking. I'm a creep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 871

Today, I told my long-distance partner that I wanted to take them on a date to the aquarium next time they're in town. They said, "That would be my first date ever!" When I asked about when we went to the zoo and dinner last week, they said it was, "the closest thing to a date" they'd had. Apparently, we're actually just friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 265

Today, while working in my pawn shop, I was showing jewelry to a distinguished lady. I had to fart. I tried to wait. It was too much, so I let it slip silently. As she handled a $2000 necklace, I realized that the 2-foot counter between us would never save her from the foul poisonous cloud that had formed. She realized it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 365

Today, I've had a crush on my friend for a long time, and everyone around us had convinced me that he had feelings too, so I finally confessed. I got sister/friend-zoned. I'm trying not to cry myself to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 123