Nearly FMLs

By Mixedsignals - 24/02/2016 16:40 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend of two years to do oral, which is something he's told me he wants to try. He responded with an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By avenue24 - 24/02/2016 16:12 - United States - New Paltz

Today, in my theatre tech class, my teacher told us we'd be taking a small spiral staircase up 50 feet to the loft, a space above the stage. When he asked if anybody was afraid of heights, I raised my hand. "Go in between people on the stairs who aren't afraid," was his reply. I almost cried. FML

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You deserved it 0

By katta - 24/02/2016 15:51 - Sweden

Today, for the third time in a row, a group therapy meeting ended in me having a severe panic attack. I go to these meetings to learn how to avoid having panic attacks. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 15:32 - United States - Denver

Today, an ex-girlfriend sent me a picture of a positive pregnancy test out of the blue. She says that she doesn't want to keep it, but is going to deny me any rights to my child after I told her that I would want to raise it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By iBiteUrFaceXO - 24/02/2016 15:23 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I have a doctors appointment that I must attend to get my new prescription of medication. I also have an art project to hand in that's worth 30% of my grade. I informed my teacher that I had an appointment 2 weeks prior. She absolutely refuses to accept it tomorrow. Shes giving me a zero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ZheiraBlue - 24/02/2016 14:44 - United States - Portland

Today I learned that when my best friend called DHS because she thought someone was sexually assaulting her three year old sister (and she's a mandatory reporter) that her beast of a mother was more upset that she filed the complaint than that someone might be sexually assaulting her toddler. FML

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You deserved it 0

By overworked and underpaid - 24/02/2016 14:26 - United States

Today,

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You deserved it 1

By ZheiraBlue - 24/02/2016 14:24 - United States - Portland

Today, my cat has been curled up between my legs, under my nightgown and using my laptop as a source of heat. I was just informed that this is what happened to a previous cat of mine who died shortly after this behavior started. As far as I knew that cat was adopted by a family friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By kyletg09 - 24/02/2016 14:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my surgery to repair a herniated disc was canceled because my surgeon herniated a disc in his back

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 14:05 - Japan - Heiwajima

Today, my boyfriend screamed at me that I am a 'fucking bitch', refused to stand in the same train carriage as me on the way home and hasn't spoken to me all evening. The reason? I didn't run to catch the train and we had to wait a whole 5 minutes for the next one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By rickytickytavi7 - 24/02/2016 13:57 - Canada - Mississauga

Today my husband tried to defend his attempts to solicit sex online by saying "I only picked the redheads, like how you used to look! FML

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You deserved it 0

By _drew_18 - 24/02/2016 13:40

Today, I tried to break up with my girlfriend. She said no.FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By isaiah1075 - 24/02/2016 13:25 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, while eating some cereal I saw that there was small ants in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By apparentlyicanshitlaundry - 24/02/2016 12:55 - United States - Fort Scott

Today, at my CNA job, I got yelled at by the day shift aide for not having the linen cart stocked. When I told her the laundry room was empty, she told me I needed to have it filled anyway and made me go look in the laundry room again. Still empty. And she still acted like it was my fault. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 24/02/2016 12:47 - United States

Today, after I told my mom about how my girlfriend cheated on me, all she said was "makes sense". FML

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You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 24/02/2016 12:33 - United States - Murray

Today, I arrived at school at 5:15 waiting for an hour in the cold rain. When the principle realized this was a daily occurrence for me he said "sorry but I'm not THAT committed to my job". FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 12:24 - United States - Woodside

Today, my girlfriend of eight months told me that she wanted to marry me one day. Surprised, I told her that she was rushing things. Now she won't stop crying because I "rejected" her and don't see a future with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By crusheddream - 24/02/2016 12:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my best friend out, got rejected and I still have plans with him tomorrow. FML

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You deserved it 0

By aliciousness116 - 24/02/2016 11:32 - India - Suri

Today, I faced a near death experience while crossing a one way road with vehicles coming from opposite sides. There wasn't a traffic light, and I was stranded for 40 minutes. I also missed my job interview, got bitten by a dog and when I told my mom about this, she said, Job well done! FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 11:21 - United States - Dallas

Today, i found out my boyfriend of 4 years whom i now have a 2 month old baby has been cheating on me with his coworker fml

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You deserved it 0

By Ms_ValS - 24/02/2016 10:58 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I had to meet our Director to get his passport from him for legal purposes. When he handed it to me, like the grand idiot I am, I casually opened and flipped through it in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 10:54 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, I was looking through my history for a video I had watched earlier when a couple of unfamiliar links caught my eye. I don't know what's scarier, what I found upon clicking said links, or the fact that I live on my own and have no recollection of ever visiting these sites. FML.

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 10:30 - United States - Elmont

Today, I cut my tongue so badly I needed stitches. The doctor burst out laughing when I told him I had cut it while licking the edge of a bagel. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Baustigt - 24/02/2016 10:27 - Australia - Perth

Today, I closed my car door on my own face. FML

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You deserved it 0

By incest - 24/02/2016 10:01 - United States - Satellite Beach

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheat on me with someone, that someone was her brother.FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anon - 24/02/2016 08:21 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I boldly decided to wear a new flannel I bought to school. The guy I liked for 4 years walked up to me and told me I looked like one of the dwarves from Snow White. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Fuck - 24/02/2016 07:47 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I got a text from my ex saying "I still love you so much...". I'm still deeply in love with her so I was ecstatic and immediately called her. Too bad her friends picked up the phone laughing and said my ex forgot her phone. Oh and according to them she moved on a long time ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By aahowell - 24/02/2016 07:01 - United States - Hattiesburg

Today, while having dinner with my boyfriend and his family we got onto the subject of tattoos. His father went on about how the only people to get them were "drunk sailors and whores," while his mom talked about how "ugly and unattractive" they are. I have 2, and they know that I do. FML.

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You deserved it 0

By TooLittleTooLate - 24/02/2016 07:01 - United States - Tulare

Today I found out for sure that my internet best friend is romantically interested in women, after deciding not to pursue my crush on her because of how leery she is of long-distance relationships. Too bad I found out because she was telling me about her new girlfriend, who she met online. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Toothurty - 24/02/2016 06:45 - United States - Ishpeming

Today, is the second day since I have gotten my wisdom teeth removed. Today is also the day that my boyfriend had a mental breakdown because he can't handle this. FML

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You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, I went to the doctor for the constant pain I have when eating savory or sour foods. It turns out I have a stone in my saliva gland, and no joke, the only thing I can do to fix it is eat savory or sour food to make me drool enough to force it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 750

You deserved it 437

Today, I met with my trainer, despite having an upset stomach. Have you ever tried to hold in diarrhea while doing squats? It doesn't end well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 459

You deserved it 1 349

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 180

You deserved it 47 669

Today, my boss accused me of eyeing for a promotion when I suggested a solution to save our team time by staying on a 2-hour schedule in the mornings. He told me we average 3 hours for our production, but his goal for this area is 90 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 114

Today, I got a surprise raise and a promotion at work. Hours after accepting, our company was raided by police on fraud charges. Due to my new managerial position, I had to get grilled by cops. I may not have a job at all next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 809

You deserved it 1 822

Today, my mom has been calling me every ten minutes, asking me questions about her new computer. She called me at work, and I rudely answered her question. She called back, talked to my boss, saying she was a customer that called in, and I was rude to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 253

You deserved it 16 754