Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 06/05/2016 22:55 - Canada - London

Today, I got on the bus to do some errands. Im severly clumsy and the bus driver didnt wait for me to sit down, i got launched into 3 cute guys. They laughed at me and dumped me on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 60

By humanrobot - 06/05/2016 22:54 - United States

Today, I'm so poor that instead of buying new shoes, I hot glued my work shoes back together. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 77

By davisjenny81 - 06/05/2016 22:35 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my best friend that I love him. Today, he died in a car accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 43

By phone glitch - 06/05/2016 22:25

Today, due to a glitch in my now ex's phone, I receive her break up text every 10 minutes. This has been going on for three days now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 31

By Anonymous - 06/05/2016 22:25 - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, my boyfriend said I look like Ted Cruz. I'm a 15-year-old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 32

By Anonymous - 06/05/2016 22:25 - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, my boyfriend said I look like Ted Cruz. I'm a 15-year-old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 29

By xMVP_Shockwave - 06/05/2016 22:10 - United States - Roanoke Rapids

Today, my date told me she thought I knew she was going out with me to make her crush jealous. I had no clue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 13

By blue steak - 06/05/2016 22:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, a customer ordered a rare steak at the restaurant I work at. He then complained that the meat wasn't cooked properly and started shouting at the other customers claiming we were trying to poison him. It took 12 of us to explain to him what rare really means. He still tried to sue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 16

By captain_mr_kitty - 06/05/2016 21:54 - United States - Chicago

Today,i come home from school to see my cat had taken my clothes from my floor while i was gone and put them in her litter box and shat on them.

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 20

By anon - 06/05/2016 21:52 - United States - Stroudsburg

Today, my mouth has been severely dry and had itchy red bumps for a week, I was beginning to think I had an STD so I went to the doctors. Turns out, it's poison Ivy. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 10

By Dead calculator - 06/05/2016 21:49 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I failed a calculator maths test. Why? Because when the test started, my calculator stopped working, and the person sat next to me refused to let me burrow one of his four spare calculators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 21

By worthypegram1 - 06/05/2016 21:41 - United States

Today, my bunny projectile peed in my face after I accidentally scared him. I had just showered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 46

By megankh - 06/05/2016 21:31 - United States - Tempe

Today, I was supposed to get my braces off, but when I went to the orthodontist, they discovered that I had to get oral surgery and have my braces on for another year. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 23

By Sammy - 06/05/2016 21:29 - United States - Danville

Today, while laying in bed with my husband he suggested we have sex. Me being almost 6 months pregnant wasn't in the mood so he decides to jack off... but uses my hand nearly ripping my arm off in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 39

By theeggsarescrambled - 06/05/2016 21:25 - United States - New Fairfield

Today, my uterus has cramped so badly that I can't even stand upright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 41

By JP - 06/05/2016 21:23 - United States - Mount Dora

Today, I was offered a great job as a programmer for Disney. As I was filling out the initial paperwork and signing the job offer letter, the recruiter called me back. Disney decided not to move forward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 17

By Don John De Marco - 06/05/2016 21:10 - United States - Bethesda

Today, girl at the window of a Wendy's has been real chatty with me. Drive through yesterday & she hit me with a 'You better come back' due to the fact I hadn't seen her in a while. Went today & gave my number, told her to text me. She texted asking that I fill out a customer survey...FML.

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 18

By stalkinator - 06/05/2016 21:02 - United States - Eau Claire

Today, I learned my alarm clock will beep for an hour. This is because I slept through the beeping, and woke up when it stopped, exactly one hour after I set it to go off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 31

By Fee - 06/05/2016 20:56 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, a delivery can reversed into my driveway, crashing into my car's bumper and smashing the wheel arch. After being suitably humiliated, the driver gave me his company's insurance details. It was the same company that had previously torn my kitchen vinyl delivering a washing machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 17

By Ian Ideomotor - 06/05/2016 20:48 - United States - Rock Island

Today my wife cut my hair for the first time using an electric razor. After she made the first pass at the back of my head she said "ops". She forgot to install the razor guard (#4). Now I have a reverse Mohawk. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 9

By S-t-t-utterin Steve - 06/05/2016 20:48 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, while at work, a man came in with his wife. The man had a stutter. A couple of minutes later, I was talking to my coworker about his stutter. The wife then came up and slapped me upside the head for "mocking her husband". I have the same stutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 10

By TacoMan32 - 06/05/2016 20:33 - Canada - Carstairs

Today, some guy bought my girlfriend a $1200 gift. She's perfectly fine with this, and sees no problem with forcing me to be there when he gives her the gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 21

By anonymous - 06/05/2016 20:33 - United States - Nashville

Today, I was planning on sleeping in after a very long week of school, but to my surprise I was woken up by a wasp stinging me on my chest at 7 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 6

By short end of the stick - 06/05/2016 20:25 - United States

Today, our club went on a spring trip. One of our stops was an amusement park. I was too short to go on anything other than the kiddie rides, and ended up the bag holder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 7

By oops - 06/05/2016 20:15 - United States - Hyattsville

Today, I made the fatal mistake of mentioning to my group in Gym class of straight guys that I have a strong grip. They won't stop asking me if my grip comes in "handy". I have to deal with this until the group project in this class is over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 17

By slipperywhenwet - 06/05/2016 20:01 - United States

Today, I've realized that I have to keep a towel within arms reach of my bathtub because the tub in my rental is so slick and so irrationally angled that nothing will stick to it and I have to be able to cover myself the next time I inevitably fall and injure myself in the shower. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 13

By kms - 06/05/2016 19:46 - United States

Today, My parents found my Twitter account full of satirical suicide memes. They have no sense of humour whatsoever. You can guess what happened next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 25

By aleowe1 - 06/05/2016 19:39 - United States - Morton Grove

Today, I got a call from my boss and he told me I was being fired for not being an important attribute to the work place.. a few hours later the same manager calls me asking why I'm not at the store working my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 9

By RoseRodent - 06/05/2016 19:23 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, my neighbour threw away a bunch of my stuff from my (separate, private) side alley, because they use their side alley to store junk for throwing out. They refuse to accept they did anything wrong, we should be grateful because it cost them a lot of money to hire the skip they put it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 11

By MikaykayUnicorn - 06/05/2016 19:11 - United States

Today, I accidentally butt dialed my dad whilst swearing at a lady while driving. My dad is very anti-swearing and he hear all of it. Guess who's grounded? FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 15

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 252

You deserved it 40 044

Today, my boyfriend of one year and seven months left me for not wanting to have a baby yet. I'm seventeen years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 093

You deserved it 2 861

Today, a man joined our dance group who is at least 10 stone overweight with a belly hanging over his belt. When I tell you he is leaps and bounds a much better dancer than me, I'm underselling how good he is. I fully admit I’m jealous, but he makes all my efforts seem laughable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 445

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 717

You deserved it 15 137

Today, my twin sister sent a nude picture to her boyfriend, who then forwarded it on to everyone else. Everyone else thinks it's me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 690

You deserved it 3 130

Today, I found out that I might need to get my gallbladder removed, due to the rapid weight loss I've had since having a gastric balloon put in. This is on top of all the nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and cramping so bad it feels like I'm constantly being stabbed. I'm only 2 months in, with another 2 months to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 207