Nearly FMLs

By losertransboy - 06/05/2016 05:39 - United States - Katy

Today, I have a headache because I'm stressed and i'm stressed becauss i have a headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 73

By midnightaffray - 06/05/2016 04:29 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I put toner into my friend's hair for her...without gloves. Now I have to go to a fancy dinner looking like I've masturbated a blueberry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 86

By calculated - 06/05/2016 04:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while studying for my stat final, my calculator died. I fortunately had a spare. Thirty minutes before my final, that calculator died too. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 33

By Typ30ne - 06/05/2016 03:51 - United States - Ozark

Today, I discovered that my laptop gets hot enough to cook meat. That would be fine and all if it wasn't my thighs it burnt the skin off of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 26

By pussy pictures - 06/05/2016 03:38 - New Zealand - Invercargill

Today, I'm so broke, I sold a picture of my cat to a magazine for 35 dollars. I'm basically exploiting my own pet for money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 47

By preggo - 06/05/2016 03:26 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I told my boss I was pregnant with my first child. He paused, started at me for a couple of minutes and then went back to work as if nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 25

By Getyourprioritiesstraight - 06/05/2016 03:23 - United States - New York

Today, my friend posted on Facebook that she bought her oldest daughter a tablet. This would be fine if she hadn't messaged me three weeks ago asking me for money to pay for the motel that she and her kids were staying in because she couldn't afford to stay there. She also doesn't have a job, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 11

By theR4nger - 06/05/2016 01:36 - United States - Austin

Today, I realized that I get excited by notifications on Twitter going off, making me think that people want to talk to me FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 39

By kuby0308 - 06/05/2016 01:12 - United States - Hayfield

Today, I found out that the Xbox One that I got for Christmas was stolen and sold to me. Now I have to get it back to the original owner and the odds of compensation are slim to none. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 16

By FeelingUnimportant - 06/05/2016 01:05 - United States - Clinton

Today, my boyfriend missed another big event in my life. He always claims he can't come because "he's busy" doing what? You have no job. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 26

By carly_eb - 05/05/2016 23:23 - United States

Today, my small dog walked up to me with a guilty face. I immediately shouted that she was a pooper and went to investigate. I cleaned up half of her poop, the rest she had already eaten. I cleaned up the other half about 30 minutes later when she threw up liquified shit on the carpet. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 17

By UnchartedWaters - 05/05/2016 22:36 - United States - South Richmond Hill

Today, I ran into my crush who I previously asked out, but didn't know she had a boyfriend months prior. Trying to set the record straight that I'm not that kind of guy, I explained had I known of the boyfriend, I wouldn't have asked her out. Her boyfriend recently passed away, I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 22

By 404- Voicemail not found - 05/05/2016 22:28 - United States - O Fallon

Today, I received a call from an unknown number during school. Knowing that my phone's voicemail had not yet been set up, I rejected the call. After spending an hour setting my voicemail up, I found out that it was my employer for the pool I'll be working at this summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 29

By Anonymous - 05/05/2016 21:57 - United States - Vienna

Today, I realized I'm completely infatuated by the guy I've been talking to. I've been in denial for weeks because his name is also my brother's name. Every time I think of this guy, I remember my brother, which in turn makes me feel gross. My brain is confused, frustrated, and disgusted. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 16

By Well_Rested - 05/05/2016 21:57 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, I was finally able to get a good nights rest for the first time since starting my new job 3 weeks ago. Today I am also looking for a new job because they decided they didn't need that position there anymore. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 17

By urgent business - 05/05/2016 20:11 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my boss told me he'd send someone to supervise my patients so I could go use the bathroom.. It's been 5 hours since then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 20

By AnnieRose111 - 05/05/2016 20:01 - Finland

Today, I finished a project that I have been doing for over two weeks. It had over thousand words in it and I really did try to make it as good as possible. So, I was about to show the project to my teacher, when I noticed, that it was all gone. I didn't have a copy of it. Guess who got a F. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 23

By Kotlopou - 05/05/2016 19:53 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I accidentally pressed some button on my PC's monitor and a blue line appeared in the middle of it. I've already tried everything. It only caused the monitor to become black for a few minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 15

By Anonymous - 05/05/2016 19:12 - United States - Macon

Today, I made it through airport security early and decided to take a dump for the first time in a few days. I was letting it rip until halfway through when I heard a woman's voice talking to her children. Suddenly, all of the sanitary napkin signs made sense. I got death stares on the way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 18

By nolife - 05/05/2016 19:09 - United States - Eatontown

Today, I finally achieved a goal that has taken me years...to clear all the rows at once in a game of Tetris. It was very anticlimactic but I was excited to tell people, then I realized I didn't have anyone to tell that would actually care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 19

By Hugh Jass - 05/05/2016 18:59 - United States - Terre Haute

Today, It was getting late before I heard my front door open and I assumed it was my roommate who was gone. I continued to lay in my bed for about 10 minutes waiting for him to say something like he usually does, before he walked in the back door and told me he just got home. We live alone. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 13

By anonymous - 05/05/2016 18:56 - United States - Miami

Today, a person in my health class mentioned that their niece, with four nipples, had nipples that were mosquito bit size. I jokingly said, "that's just the way I like them". No one was surprised, my entire class already thought I was a pedophile before I said this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 20

By Anonymous - 05/05/2016 18:53

Today, I was in a good mood and had a balloon. Unfortunately, my bitch of an art teacher saw that i was happy with a balloon and decided to take it from me and pop it, just to make me feel upset. This is the person I've had to deal with for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 6

By ButWhatAboutMe - 05/05/2016 18:52 - United States - Menomonee Falls

Today, my boyfriend told me about a job he was offered. It's a huge pay increase but he would have to travel for months at a time. I asked if he was going to take it because he would have to leave a lot behind. He paused for a moment and then agreed he wouldn't be able to leave his videos games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 9

By CrispyPotatoes - 05/05/2016 18:22 - United States - Austin

Today, my professor was talking about people being stupid for playing games on their phone all the time. I was playing while he went off about it. He was looking at me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 20

By anonymous - 05/05/2016 18:08 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I was on a first date. Things went well until I laughed so hard that I spit my drink all over his face. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 14

By Zamas - 05/05/2016 18:07 - Germany - Braunschweig

Today my mom screamed at me that I should clean my room. She does this every time, so I cleaned it yesterday. When she entered my room, I explained and showed her, that everything was perfect. 5min later, she came back and threw my shelf to the ground, to say it's not clean. It was the 5th time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 8

By Zepha - 05/05/2016 18:03 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, when I told my regional director that the managers should help more around the workplace, she told me that it wasn't thier job to work, it was to "manage". FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 10

By Katie1921 - 05/05/2016 18:02 - United States - New York

Today was the first day I took off from school in 11 years due to the worst migraine I have ever had. I missed making icecream in Chem, Student Council baking for the whole school and a school-wide dance party during lunch. People are saying that it is the best school day ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 12

By anon - 05/05/2016 17:49 - United States - Lake Forest

Today, my girlfriend said she couldn't hangout with me because she has to order clothes for her work. I asked her how long it would take and she said 15 min. She leaves for 2 months tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 9

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to surprise him and caught him with another girl. As my boyfriend got up to explain himself, I, in a state of shock, violently threw up on him (and partially her). His mum had let me in the house. At least I know whose side she's on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 910

You deserved it 332

Today, I found out that the love of my life had been pleasuring himself to pictures of my ex-boyfriends. Yes, he's bisexual. He says it's ok because I'm dating him now. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 254

You deserved it 451

Today, my girlfriend’s mom just got engaged to her boyfriend and he claimed it was me that inspired him to ask her. My girlfriend hates him, so to say I’m in the doghouse is an understatement, I’m lucky to still be in the garden, never mind the doghouse, and I have no idea what I did to inspire him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 75

Today, in France, a "Vaccine Pass" is needed to do most things. Some family members came to visit, but as they aren't vaccinated they usually just stay home. They told us that we're dangerous, because we carry "millions of viruses" from the vaccine, and it will be our fault if they get Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 225

Today, I have a friend who I’m scared is going to become a nurse. She didn’t even know that morning sickness can last all day and that “morning” sickness is just its name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 150

Today, at work, I was told at the beginning of my shift that we would be enforcing a 4-item limit on hand sanitizer, toilet paper, etc. Not even 20 minutes later, I had 2 customers bitch me out. This is going to be a long shift, if not year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 155

You deserved it 149