Nearly FMLs

By Whyisthismylife - 08/05/2016 02:16 - United States - Sherman Oaks

Today, after having a severe sore throat for two weeks, I bought some chloraseptic sore throat spray. It worked great, until I had an allergic reaction and my entire body started itching everywhere, including my sore throat. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 08/05/2016 02:15 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I forgot my boyfriend changed his name in my phone to Daddy... I sent my father a tit pic FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 23

By shortshorts - 08/05/2016 02:13 - United States - Plant City

Today, I was trying on clothes at a store. After sending away a large "no" pile, I realized I had also sent away the pants I came in with. All I had left with me was a pair of shorts that was way too small. I had to walk around the store in them looking for my original pants. People laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 13

By maybe... maybe not - 08/05/2016 02:09 - United States - North Las Vegas

Today, I saw the roundness in my stomach and told my boyfriend I might be pregnant. His response? "Oh shit oh shit oh shit..." as he put on his shoes and walked out the door. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 6

By woccawocca - 08/05/2016 01:48 - United States - Southfield

Today, I was cleaning out my barn. It was really windy so I decided to throw my pan of dried out fecal dust out with the wind. I realized I had misjudged the direction of the wind once I was covered in a coat of excrement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 16

By someday - 08/05/2016 01:42 - United States

Today, my husbands idea of Mother's Day was throwing money at me and telling me to get out of the house. I later found out he was celebrating with his newly pregnant girlfriend. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 10

By queasymama - 08/05/2016 01:09 - United States - Vincennes

Today, I've decided morning sickness is one of the worst jokes mother nature could pull. Not only am I throwing up I'm constantly hungry which makes me throw up more. And if I eat, don't eat, eat too little, or don't eat fast enough I'll throw up anyway. There's no winning against mother nature FM

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 10

By fmlperson8264 - 08/05/2016 01:03 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was waiting for my appointment with my therapist when a teenage boy walked over, looked at me, and then scrunched his face in disgust. I'm that ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 13

By KittyHawkMarch - 08/05/2016 00:53 - Canada - Brampton

Today, after driving nearly 4 hours at my boyfriend's request to visit him, he blew me off to smoke weed. It's my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 9

By combat commando - 08/05/2016 00:50 - Romania

Today, my hot date turned our romantic meal into a double date with another couple he knew. I spent 4 hours desperately trying to hide the fact I had no underwear on under my short dress since it had been our THIRD date and I had originally planned for the night to end very differently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 17

By danm_1 - 08/05/2016 00:36 - South Africa

Today, after the batteries in my wireless mouse died, I asked my mom if she had extra batteries I could use. After a long while of my mom rummaging through her things, she proceeds to take the batteries out of her vibrator and gives it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 9

By Mr. Unlucky - 08/05/2016 00:34 - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, I met the girl of my dreams, everything was going great until she told me what she did for a living, she's a hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 12

By Microsoft_Sucks - 08/05/2016 00:33 - United States - Dodge City

Today, I finally caved to the pressure to update to Windows 10. After several hours, my laptop was rebooting to Windows 10. It booted up to a black screen with a message stating Systems 32 has been moved or deleted. Fantastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 12

By me - 08/05/2016 00:12 - United States - Opelousas

Today, I graduated high school. My boyfriend came, but complained the entire time that it wasn't an accomplishment. He then went on to brag about him leveling up quick in a game that just came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 7

By GingerSnap98 - 08/05/2016 00:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I've had my period for 3 weeks. My doctor doubled my birth control dose hoping it'd help. After, she told me there's a chance it'd make me nauseous. Now I'm not only still bleeding, but I'm puking too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 8

By aianmoo16 - 07/05/2016 23:34 - United States - Redmond

Today, I learned the 200 dollars I earned mowing lawns this week went to my Sister and Mom's shopping funds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 6

By runawayrockstars - 07/05/2016 23:30 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, just like every other day since spring started I have been on vigilant watch for any wasps due to a severe phobia. As I opened my door a wasp zoomed right in my home and I screamed. I spent the next hour and a half hauled up in my room until someone came home to take care of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 23:30 - United States - Mansura

Today, my boyfriend and I finally got some alone time we had both really been looking forward to. About 45 minutes later, he has finished twice, and I still haven't even once. He's too tired to continue. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 14

By ilikecheesefries - 07/05/2016 23:29 - United States - Scranton

Today, I took a selfie while I was at work to send to my husband since he was having a rough day and missed me. I accidentally sent it to my mom instead who replied with "there's a face not even a mother could love". FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 23:17 - United States - Dacula

Today, I went on a plane. The flight had a layover in dallas, and i was suffering from allergies. So on the plane, I was coughing it up, and suddenly blood poured out of my nose. The lady sitting next to me screamed, and evryone on the plane thought I had ebola. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 7

By cuckheld - 07/05/2016 23:07 - United States

Today, after my girlfriend and I decided to explore our turn-ons and switch it up with new positions, I learned that my girlfriend is more than willing to try anal. Too bad I found this out when I walked in on her going at it with my neighbor. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 8

By Why me - 07/05/2016 23:03 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I slept with the new guy I'd been seeing for the first time. It all went great until not even 5 minutes after he proceeds to break down about his ex girlfriend and wants to be with her. All this whilst spooning me in my bed... FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 7

By MamaDuck - 07/05/2016 23:00 - United States - Chickamauga

Today, my daughter shared a post on Facbook that said "share this if you won't be sharing tomorrow with your mother. RIP mom". Last I checked, I'm very much alive. Guess I should be scared. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 5

By not my ex - 07/05/2016 22:57 - United States

Today, my best friend dumped his psycho girlfriend because she told him we have to stop being friends. Well, he declined, and she said she'll make our lives a living hell. So far, she's tweeted about me, made multiple Facebook accounts to stalk me, and destroyed my car. All in one day. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 5

By DepressedandStre - 07/05/2016 22:08 - United States

Today, after weeks of working my butt off to finish school, I found out I'll be graduating. I also found out that almost everyone that promised to come to support me, has mysteriously gotten sick or "has to work." I will be one of the only people with out a bunch of family there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 7

By evandre - 07/05/2016 22:08 - United States

Today, on my 4 hour plane ride the person sitting next to me bumped my tray table knocking over my full ice cold Fresca spilling it into my lap, I had to wait till I got my luggage to change all the while looking like I had peed myself FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 22:03 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I walked in on my younger brother watching Little Einstein porn on my computer. He's 23 years old, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 6

By imacowgirl - 07/05/2016 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I left my daughter home alone for the first time so that I could go grocery shopping. She is old enough to be alone so I wasn't worried about it. On my way home from the grocery store, I saw a fire truck and jokingly thought "maybe it's going to my house". It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 4

By great end to the 17 y/o dog - 07/05/2016 21:31 - Canada - Squamish

Today, I got on the last bus of the day. Usually it is empty. After spending the day at my boyfriends house I burst into tears upon getting a text saying my parents had put the dog down. I then had to ride home with a bus full of jeering drunks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 3

By marissa20358 - 07/05/2016 21:27 - United States - Lumberton

Today, I got a brand new pair of white ear buds, I let my friend use them, I didn't even bother to look at them and stuck them in my ears, I heard a squishing sound. Her ear wax was all over them, FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 7

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 098

You deserved it 221

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 527

You deserved it 11 082

Today, I started my job as a driving instructor. My first client showed up piss drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 228

You deserved it 4 246

Today, like every day since my diagnosis, I've had to choose between two impossible options. Either I deal with debilitating headaches where I cannot focus, or I feel so drowsy that I cannot focus. My finals are in a week and I can't study. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 95

Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 916

You deserved it 42 639

Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 845

You deserved it 7 163