Nearly FMLs

By goingcrazy - 05/05/2016 17:27 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I accidentally shaved off half of my eyebrows while trying to shave my forehead. To hide it, I attempted to cut my fringe to cover it. That totally backfired as my fringe then became too short exposing my messed up brow. My job interview and graduation convocation is later today. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 122

By anonymous - 05/05/2016 17:22 - United States - Amherst

Today, I prepared all week for my final at 12:30. At 12:10 I walked towards the building and pulled up the info on my phone to check the room number. Not only did I have the room number wrong but I had the time wrong, it started at 10:30 and ended at 12:30. This final is 40% of my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 114

By farty mc fart pants - 05/05/2016 17:10 - Ireland

Today, while feeding my neighbor's dog, I left out a rather loud fart. So loud was said fart, and so pungent, that the dog looked up from his food with an unimpressed "excuse you?" look on his face. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 88

By lolaforz - 05/05/2016 17:10 - United States - Studio City

Today, I just found out I have a horrible case of strep throat... right after a first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 54

By Anonymous - 05/05/2016 16:48 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in class and my friend decided to write on my school planner with a permanent marker. As I was trying to rub it off, my teacher saw and said that I was fidgeting too much and that I was distracting the class. I ended up getting a detention after school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 36

By Isaac - 05/05/2016 16:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to my parents house for dinner, only to be told I'm adopted and that they are getting a divorce, FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 39

By AnalSpelunking - 05/05/2016 16:22 - United States - Ellensburg

Today, my crazy ex girlfriend, who cheated on me and left me for another guy 6 months ago, won't leave me alone. She tracked me down at the bars on my 21st birthday and my friends have been getting calls from her wanting to know where I am. I saw her drive away from my apartment complex tonight

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 39

By ElvishTea - 05/05/2016 16:16 - United States - West Warwick

Today, I was in the Musuem of Natural History in NYC & while reading something on a dino, a pervert had slapped my ass. I turn to look & no one was there. Continuing to read, I felt another slap. I turn around to find a 7 year old was the culprit. He smiled & ran away while his mother stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 33

By anon - 05/05/2016 16:05 - United States - Ashland

Today, my boyfriend had to get all his photos and contacts transferred at his phone store. It stopped loading when it got to his "nudes folder". The photo that popped up, wasn't mine. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 39

By save me - 05/05/2016 15:56 - Trinidad and Tobago - Tacarigua

Today, I have a swollen jaw and swollen tonsils. I have a stuffed runny nose and a dry cough. A few days ago I got off my period. I just stood up and felt something rushing out my vagina. Guess I'm still on my period too. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 39

By SucksAtBeingHealthy - 05/05/2016 15:51 - Germany

Today, I hung out with my crush. Everything went well until I laughed while drinking a smoothie, which resulted in me choking on it, making weird noises and spitting it all over his floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 15

By idefka - 05/05/2016 15:42 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I sneezed and hit my head against the wall. There's a head sized hole in the wall and a giant bump on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 13

By Pasta - 05/05/2016 15:27 - United States - Pottstown

Today, I found out that my cat peed on my pillow after I put my face on it. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 17

By Anonymous - 05/05/2016 15:21 - United States - Pomona

Today, I was late for class and bumped into someone. I said "I'm sorry. My fault" and picked up her papers. I guess her friend felt I didn't do enough, because she kicked me in the head with boots on. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 12

By Lor - 05/05/2016 15:19 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I got an email from one of the women working in marketing. The email was thanking everyone for working hard on putting together details for a big upcoming meeting. I wasn't mentioned in the email. I'm the office assistant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 11

By milton - 05/05/2016 15:05 - United States - San Luis Obispo

Today, like the last 2 weeks, my wife is in agonizing sciatica pain brought on by physical therapy she started for a slight back injury. PT made it much worse. Her doctor says continue it at a slower pace. Her physical therapist says to talk to her doctor before continuing. nobody will help her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 15

By huffing_antz - 05/05/2016 14:48 - United States - San Diego

Today, I noticed two dead ants stuck to my nasal decongestant spray applicator.. and then realized that I shoved them up my nose last night. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 7

By Kieranr10 - 05/05/2016 14:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I won a £1000 scratch card. Sadly this is also the day my little brother learnt how to use a shredder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 13

By wet ride - 05/05/2016 13:56 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, during a morning quickie with a new boyfriend, I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 15

By wordsandzombies - 05/05/2016 13:52 - Australia - Charlestown

Today, my incredibly expensive straightener which has been broken for 2 years decided to start working again. On my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 10

By baka4815 - 05/05/2016 13:46

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache, my mother yelling, and my neighbors using a chainsaw right by my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 12

By mohamedxo - 05/05/2016 13:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, decided to take a nap last night before studying for my physics test but I ended waking up the morning one hour before school started and now I'm fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 18

By PhoenixChick - 05/05/2016 13:01 - United States - Champaign

Today, my boss told me that I'd be fired if I "faked" being sick again. I was in the ER for six hours. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 11

By RainbowDashLikesHorseD - 05/05/2016 12:51 - Canada

Today, I was called a homophobe online because I didn't agree that a character from My Little Pony is gay. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 69

By Bibphatman - 05/05/2016 12:33 - United States

Today i went to Mcdonalds to skip some school, i walk up and a guy asks me for some change. I said id give him some after i broke my five buying cofee... I go to try and find him to giv him a dollar and i see him breaking into my car and getting away with my backpack and tablet... FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 56

By fuckmeright? - 05/05/2016 12:16 - Australia

Today, we're expecting a baby in 6 weeks. I had my whole family vaccinated for whooping cough as per recommendation by our GP and midwives. The father of the child suddenly decided that he'll be too embarrassed to ask his family to do the same in case they think we're those overprotective nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 24

By DrafteeSelf - 05/05/2016 12:03 - Spain - Valencia

Today, i saw my crush walking home alone. I took it as destiny and rushed over waving and calling his name. I got hit by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 50

By Tragic Traffic Cones - 05/05/2016 11:56 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about a wild party we both went to last night, where we saw my friend's naked breasts. He said that her breasts look great. I said we have the same bra size. He stared before saying "Huh, her boobs are nice and round. Your's are more traffic cone shaped." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 29

By P-E-N-I-S face - 05/05/2016 11:16 - United States - Houston

Today, I woke up after a long night of partying at a frat party with friends, only to find I had "P-E-N-I-S" written across my forehead. I guess college is actually working for some of these idiots because they used henna, which means it's going to last a lot longer than sharpie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 34

By PoorMe - 05/05/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my phone rang. I answered the call and all I could hear was a creep on Facebook jerking off in my ear and saying my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 23

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I burped and sneezed during a job interview, I don’t think they were impressed by my talents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 253

Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 670

You deserved it 6 148

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 308

You deserved it 2 124

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 613

You deserved it 22 056

Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 728

You deserved it 3 565

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 709

You deserved it 4 017