Nearly FMLs

By ShinyLadybird15 - 19/08/2016 21:02 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I found out (after 15 years of life) that a platypus is a real animal, not just a made-up creature on Phineas and Ferb.FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 272

By Anonymous - 19/08/2016 20:56

Today, I went to the bank to cash my check. As I'm waiting for the teller I decide to go ahead and sign the back. Turns out it was my direct deposit confirmation I grabbed the wrong envelope. my bank is like 25 miles from home and I dont drive FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 70

By Dovratone - 19/08/2016 20:51 - United States - Miami

Today, I found out my girlfriend used to do porn. How did I find out? My dad recognized her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 59

By EwokFashionWeek - 19/08/2016 20:36 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, I was climbing up a ladder to clean the gutters. As I was almost on the top step, my little brother pushed me down. He thought it was funny, while I passed out. I now have a broken leg. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 30

By I just want pizza - 19/08/2016 20:29 - United States - Rochester

Today, marks the third week after getting my braces, and yet I still can't eat any solid foods. My dentist still refuses to admit she may have messed something up, and refuses to check them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 35

By number two - 19/08/2016 20:25 - Canada

Today, for the third day in a row I'm to shy to poop at work. I can't even sit down I'm awkwardly bloated and counting down to home time while my mind races of private bathrooms on the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 67

By toribooswift - 19/08/2016 20:24 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I arrived in LA for a work interview. My bags never got on the plane and they have my presentation in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 49

By anonymous - 19/08/2016 20:22 - United States

Today, I was talking to the cute new boy from my class whom I have a crush on, really quiet, shy, and smart. when I turned to say 'Hi' we collided face first and I knocked him down the stairs and broke his arm. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 39

By Aasmellysmellsmell - 19/08/2016 20:17 - United States - Saint Paul

Today I was doing work in an office without a door when some random lady sprayed the entire office with deoderant. I was the only one in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 77

By vegantreegirl - 19/08/2016 20:13

Today, I went to the library to get work done. Like every Friday a swarm of children took over the computer lab and started playing games on the lap tops. Yelling at each other across the room, swearing every other word, running around the library, bumping into people. Librarians don't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 58

By Cbnotme - 19/08/2016 20:13 - United States - Kennebunk

Today, my dad finalized the closing on his new house. The house turns out be built adjacent 4 superfund sites, and has gang graffiti in the room he wants to give me along with a leading septic pipe. His priorities? A grill, and a machete to make a trail out back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 29

By creepercool - 19/08/2016 18:09 - Canada

Today, I work as a cashier at McDonalds. Some guy came in and ordered a $1.50 coffee and payed with $50. And while I was giving his change he also gave me a bunch of money instead and asked for the 50 back. And in the confusion he walked away $75 dollars richer. Who scams a 15 year old cashier? FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 235

By allykaymorris - 19/08/2016 17:56 - United States

Today, it took four hours to get my overtired baby to sleep. After a lot of walking, rocking, and lullabies, she finally passed out. Then my neighbors basset hound started howling at the car alarm that started. Cue instant crying again.

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 73

By elspo - 19/08/2016 17:47

Today, I was sexting my boyfriend so when I went to pick him up from work I put some cute lingerie on, only for him to be too drunk to walk and to pass out asleep when we got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 68

By Anonymous - 19/08/2016 17:47

Today, I finally had the courage to leave my horrible and emotionally abusive relationship. As I was outside waiting for my friend to pick me up to bring me home, my ex threw a trashcan of Rainwater, bugs, dirt, trash, cigarettes on me from his balcony.

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 52

By Anon - 19/08/2016 17:45 - United States - Homestead

Today, my boyfriend was supposed to text me after he got back from his camping trip in the woods. Even though there was "no service", he was able to post pictures on Instagram of himself with a girl I have never seen before. That wouldn't be a problem if his comment didn't have heart emojis. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 49

By starlightrob - 19/08/2016 17:45 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I noticed my 4 year old son has somehow scratched the first 3 letters of his name onto my car bonnet. I'm just about to put it up for sale! Fml

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 45

By kentrm - 19/08/2016 17:43 - United States - Atlanta

Today, a cockroach fell from my ceiling when I was getting in bed. This was 10PM when it happened. When I turned on the lights, I couldn't find it. I ended up staying up until 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 60

By Dumbstuff___ - 19/08/2016 17:30 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my dad picked me up from my friends house because I didn't tell him where I was. This would have been okay if I hadn't moved out 8 years ago, wasn't 26, or had talked to him in the last year. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 47

By weightlossnfound - 19/08/2016 17:30 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I found out that weighting oneself on a rug verses hardwood flooring will make a difference.. A twenty pound difference.. So much for weight loss.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 67

By Uh Oh - 19/08/2016 17:15

Today, I'm so stripped of intimacy that I started French kissing my own hand, pretending it was a guy. Ten seconds later I looked up to see my dad staring at me, with a shocked and disgusted expression.

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 108

By FML_Nils - 19/08/2016 16:59 - United States - Southfield

Today, I just got home from sneaking out to meet a close friend of mine for a walk. We were both dropping hints that we were interested in eachother, and just before I left we ended up kissing. I message here later to make sure she got home safe, and I'm promptly told that "she can't do this". FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 40

By ripepeaches - 19/08/2016 16:38

Today, I landed an interview with my schools work study program. After waiting an hour after it was scheduled for her to show up, she never did so I left. I later got an email from her blaming me for her double booking her schedule on the day she told me she was free. I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 27

By noname1215 - 19/08/2016 16:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my social skills hit an all time low as I purposely waited to respond to a message, simply so I could savour the icon that someone had actually texted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 45

By FlyAway - 19/08/2016 15:59 - United States - Middleboro

Today, I drove my girlfriend to take her on the first date out of the house we've had since she got her pet birds five months ago. Less than fifteen minutes after we left her house, she started crying hysterically, demanding that we turn around because she missed her birds too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 39

By Loser - 19/08/2016 15:55 - United States - Fairfax

Today,I bought 200 dollars worth of computer parts,today is also the day my mom cleans my desk and gets rid of "those useless boxes".FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 39

By Roxyblu - 19/08/2016 15:45 - United States - Morehead City

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a little bit of sexy time on video chat (bc hes across the country for a family). He finished and right as I was about to finish as well he yelled out "I LOVE YOU JENNAY" in the voice of Forrest Gump, laughed his ass off, and I completely lost everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 52

By Acneman - 19/08/2016 15:20 - United States - American Fork

Today, my acne got so bad I now have pimples on my dick. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 48

By cuz803 - 19/08/2016 14:29 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my dad's arachnophobia has gotten so severe to the point that he suggested burning down our house. I'm now more scared of him than the spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 33

By Velocity57 - 19/08/2016 14:12 - United States - Birmingham

Today after a solid week of thunderstorms it was a bright clear day, so I decide to take my motorcycle to work. 1 block later it turns off and won't restart, after pushing it back home and getting my car I get t-boned 4 block from my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 26

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my obsession with replying "Your Mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I'd done with my pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 605

You deserved it 50 498

Today, when I arrived to a prospective customer's home to give her a shower replacement estimate, a sheriff pulled up behind me and arrested said customer. I drove a 3-hour round trip to this appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 88

Today, I had an extreme panic attack in the middle of class. I interrupted another person's presentation, burst into tears, and ran out of class whilst everyone looked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 917

You deserved it 3 544

Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 351

You deserved it 8 942

Today, I spent nearly half an hour looking for my favourite pair of shoes. I ended up getting so pissed off that I accused my boyfriend of stealing them. He then pointed out that I was wearing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 831

You deserved it 34 300

Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 299