Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 15/08/2016 07:21 - United States

Today, I had to drive my grandpa who is rapidly developing Alzheimer's disease to and from the hospital for an appointment. I would have been fine with this had he not taken the keys and refused to let me drive home. I had to forcibly fight to take car keys from an elderly man with Alzheimer's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 51

By madscientist_17 - 15/08/2016 04:41 - United States - Akron

Today, while cleaning out my basement I picked up a bunch of fuzzy balls. Except for they weren't fuzzy balls but spider eggs ready for hatching FML.

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 46

By TooYoung - 15/08/2016 02:52 - United States - Valley Stream

Today, I went up to a lady at a supermarket because she was doing a demonstration of a food slicer, and when she saw me she told me I needed a parent or adult because of the sharp blades. I walked away, embarrassed. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 157

By HopeLess - 15/08/2016 01:16 - United States - Charlotte

Today I cleaned out my husbands car. Today i also found his secret stash of cigerattes. He only smokes when stressed and unhappy. Apparently my marriage is not as happy as i thought. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 93

By anonymous - 14/08/2016 16:44 - United States - Bastrop

Today, I went to several job interviews and I felt like they all went very well. However, when I got home a few minutes ago, I discovered there was a big hole right in the crotch area of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 88

By Anonymous - 14/08/2016 16:36 - United States

Today, my boss is having me play the bad guy by having me fire an employee for not showing up for work the other day. The reason this is the case is because the employee got my permission to leave for her mother's funeral. He doesn't care and everybody will blame me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 60

By jameskremp - 14/08/2016 05:09 - Australia - Thornlands

Today at work, I managed to smash 23 glasses in one go, then five minutes later smash 3 more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 106

By blegh - 14/08/2016 04:24

Today, my cat, who is usually not too affectionate, came up on my bed and started to cuddle with me. Since it was a nice surprise, I let her snuggle right up against the back of my head on my pillow. A few minutes later she blew chunks right on my pillow and hair then happily hopped off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 72

By donaldthegrump - 14/08/2016 03:28

Today, I realised the high point of the week was getting off at the right train stop for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 188

By BlownAway - 14/08/2016 02:54 - United States - Austin

Today, I was at the gym when I started chatting with a cute girl. Trying to show off I said I could lift 490lb with my legs on one of the machines. When I went to try I farted. Extremely loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 328

By Crotch Face - 13/08/2016 23:33

Today, I was sitting on the bus. A man came and stood in front of me. He had his pants sagged, this would have been fine if he also wasn't going commando, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 77

By Firetruck69 - 13/08/2016 21:42 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I kept hearing a fly while biking. I didn't realize it was trapped inside my helmet until I felt it crawl inside my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 84

By Anonymous - 13/08/2016 20:00 - United States - Carrollton

Today, I asked my friend how the rest of the chinchillas that he was working with were doing, after having adopted 2 of them. He said they were fine. When I asked his wife later that night she informed me the rest had been killed months ago, and that he had been lying to me to spare my feelings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 61

By hobojoe154 - 13/08/2016 16:46

Today, I was at the movies and some dude was playing on his phone with the volume all the way up. When I asked him to stop, He told the employees that I was talking and I got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 63

By Nurse Wifey - 13/08/2016 15:50 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I took a shower with my husband. Not because we were being romantic, but because he threw out his back and couldn't wash himself. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 108

By Anonymous - 13/08/2016 14:28 - United States - Chevy Chase

Today, my sister was complaining about having to meet up with an old high school frenemy to do stuff together for the 6th time this week, because this girl's the only person she can stand who invites her out. I invited her to a movie just yesterday and got turned down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 53

By Sidney - 13/08/2016 05:21 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my cat scratched me. It should've been normal and harmless. Too bad it was on my fresh stitches. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 53

By on one knee pleading - 13/08/2016 01:08 - United States - Edmond

Today was my anniversary with my girlfriend of two years. I planned a nice dinner for us at a fancy place downtown and was about to propose and had just given her earrings and a birthstone ring as gifts, but before I could ask, she told me, "I think I need space... for about a month." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 140

By arachnophobe - 12/08/2016 21:10 - United Kingdom - Ely

Today, I thought I saw a spider in the toilet. I jumped back, tripped on the dog and hit my head on the bath tub. While lying there in pain, the fly I actually saw in the toilet flew away. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 124

By Worker - 12/08/2016 20:07 - United States - Coal City

Today, my ditz of a sister got a job working as a hostess at Red Lobster. Her starting hourly wage is 25 more cents than mine was after working at my job for almost a year and a half. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 84

By Anonymous - 12/08/2016 17:36

Today, at my high school reunion, I ran into the asshole that bullied me all throughout. Knowing full-well that I'm gay, he asked 'So when are you gonna find a GIRLFRIEND?' Knowing that he's a bastard, I replied 'When you finally find your father.' I now have a broken nose. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 170

By powerlesshero - 12/08/2016 14:26 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my coworker had to leave early because her grandma is in the hospital. I said "have fun" as she was leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 175

By chessu - 12/08/2016 13:56 - United Kingdom - Billingham

Today, I fear I may have broken my ankle. I called a friend who I knew would be in my area later today anyway and asked if she could give me a lift to the nearest A&E. She told me to get a taxi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 80

By purplemask - 12/08/2016 13:17

Today, I started a new medication. It has given me both gas and diarrhea. Needless to say, it's not going well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 74

By anon - 12/08/2016 09:04 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, my sister left for college and my grand parents gave her yet another gift. Her birthday was less than a month ago and they gave her 4 gifts since then. My grandparents forgot my birthday this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 176

By exfriend - 12/08/2016 08:47 - United Kingdom - Salisbury

Today, I was travelling from my house to my grandmas house on the train. The ticket inspector came along, and asked to see my ticket. I whipped out my prepaid ticket, and handed it to him. He looks at me and says "you're getting off at the next stop". I booked for the wrong day. I'm now stranded FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 135

By ajt75927 - 12/08/2016 08:44 - United States - Williamsport

Today, I went to pick up the U-haul trailer I reserved almost a month ago as my family is moving from Pennsylvania to Virginia. The guy gave it to someone else the day before telling me I'd have to go to an different U-Haul and hope they have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 68

By Mitch_ditch - 12/08/2016 07:30

Today, as I was getting in the bath I stood on the side of it. As I was about to get down I heard a loud "crack". The side of the bath had broken under my weight. I'm to afraid to tell my parents.FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 151

By Cbnotme - 11/08/2016 23:56

Today, my dad started packing to move out of his apartment. The first thing he packed? The curtains in my room that overlooks the parking lot. I have to change on the ground, in a corner, or in the closet so I can't be seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 73

By itchy in Idaho - 11/08/2016 19:38 - United States - Arlington

Today, while out with my friends at a bar, I met a really sweet guy. After much encouragement from my friends, I found the courage to go to his place, but left soon after he fell asleep to go back to my apartment. Guess who wasn't sweet enough to inform me of their current bedbug situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 65

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 479

You deserved it 37 288

Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 780

You deserved it 62 095

Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 689

You deserved it 2 533

Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 808

You deserved it 888

Today, I fell asleep while lifeguarding, thinking I could get away with it due to my sunglasses. When I woke up, I saw my boss waving at me. Apparently she'd been trying to get my attention for five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 575

You deserved it 70 038

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant downtown with my brother in-law when I told him I couldn't eat any more. He then told me, "You better, or you're walking home." He wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 452

You deserved it 3 597