Nearly FMLs

By ihatemyjob - 07/01/2017 00:03

Today, at work as a customer service supervisor, I had to take a supervisor call for someone LOSING THEIR SHIT over the fact that they have to pay a deductible before insurance starts paying. They were a 45 and with our insurance for 10 years. They've always had a $500 deductible. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 14

By Disappointed - 06/01/2017 23:38

Today, I got back into reading these ony to find that the "you deserve it" button has been replaced with "that could have happened to me". 90% of these posts aren't relatable at all. Wtf guys. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 73

By Anonymous - 06/01/2017 23:07

Today, I came back to FML after about 3 months of not accessing the site to find that my account has been banned. I've only ever posted one comment on it. I lost my progress on the badge for reading all FMLs, which was 50% complete, and I still don't know why I was banned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 35

By anonymous - 06/01/2017 23:05

Today, my friend who's very passionate about aviation said that the only reason he hasn't left me is because I have no other friends and I am too annoying about birds. When I told him that he is annoying about planes, he said that aviation is a job, and I was making birding more than a hobby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 35

By F'in Cold in TX - 06/01/2017 22:26

Today, there was ice on my car. Given the weather this is normal...if I lived someplace other than South Texas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 58

By raiiiox - 06/01/2017 21:51

Today, I booked a doctors appointment for this shoulder/neck pain I've been having for 4 months straight. It's hurt so bad to the point I've cried at work. The day after I booked the appointment, the pain was gone and fine. The hell do I say to them now?... FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 27

By Losing - 06/01/2017 20:59

Today four years after selling my race horses and stopping all gambling, I appraised last year. My income is now much lower and, on a percentage basis, my conservative investments lost more then I used to lose when gambling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 30

By Anonymous - 06/01/2017 20:25

Today, my boyfriend's mother sobbed to me that he likes the Christmas gift I got him more than the one she got him. I got him a scarf. She's jealous that he wears the scarf I got him. It's the middle of winter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 22

By Anonymous - 06/01/2017 20:19

Today, I woke up early to make breakfast for me and my fiancé since he says I never cook. I made eggs, sausage, and pancake muffins. my fiance has never seen or heard of them before he's not eating them.... fml

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 23

By Izzi - 06/01/2017 18:29

I've been spending months asking my mum to help me get a job to pay for my phone contract for her with her reply always being "later" today she cancelled my phone contract saying i need to get a job to pay for my phone... I told her I've been suggesting this for a while... according to her I lie

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 27

By Anonymous - 06/01/2017 18:01

Last night, my husband FINALLY decided that he wanted sex (for the first time since April), but I was already asleep and kinda just had a panic attack when he started touching me. Apparently sleep me can no longer differentiate between my own husband and a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 18

By poor me - 06/01/2017 17:19

Today, I was at the theatre with my friends and I somehow ended up passing out three times and having a mini seizure and none of the workers came over to see if I was alright or would even give me ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 15

By Anonymous - 06/01/2017 17:06

Today, I was stuck in a doctor's waiting room with a man who's laugh sounded like he was gurgling phlegm every few seconds, and his overbearing girlfriend who was trying to crawl all over him whilst literally sneering at everyone around her. I want to go home. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 15

By red - 06/01/2017 15:18

Today, I started my period in the middle of class while I was wearing khaki pants. I'm the teacher and 200 of my college-level students saw my ass turn red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 25

By red - 06/01/2017 15:18

Today, I started my period in the middle of class while I was wearing khaki pants. I'm the teacher and 200 of my college-level students saw my ass turn red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 25

By daeknezzeter - 06/01/2017 14:16

Today, I caught the Flu that my sister was insistent she never had. I also started my period, lucky me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 20

By Veneficus - 06/01/2017 12:46

Someone threw one of the organic bins (or more) and wet cat food into the trash compactor. And now it stinks to high heavens. I can't do my job, I get near it and almost puke! Fml

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 20

By Anonymous - 06/01/2017 11:57

Today, my friend and I were supposed to hang out, we planned this since last month. Originally we were supposed to hang out yesterday, but he got called into work, No big deal I was free today so we rescheduled. Too bad his boss got a DWI last night and he got called in to cover for him, FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 11

By Anonymous - 06/01/2017 11:03

Today, I realised that I was scammed on eBay on my 800$ MacBook Pro. Unfortunately I only realised after my dumbass sent it to Nigeria. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 228

By guitargod - 06/01/2017 10:11

Today I realized why I lose so many guitar picks and then keep finding them down the side of the couch. My little sister uses them to masturbate to Justin Bieber music videos. I told her she needs to improve her taste in music. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 15

By Anonymous - 06/01/2017 09:57

Today, after an intense and painful labour I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. In her first few seconds of life she decided to greet the world by spraying explosive diarrhoea all over me. My husband decided this was the best photo to send everyone. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 20

By nottwinning - 06/01/2017 09:19

Today, my twin sister's new best friend is my boyfriend's ex.

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 10

By real victim - 06/01/2017 07:57

Today, my "best friend" called me a traitor again for not believing her when she said our childhood friend sexually assaulted her, meanwhile she's still flirting and sexting him. This isn't the first time this has happened, but my mom still believes her and thinks I'm being mean.

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 10

By Justwanttomakefriends - 06/01/2017 07:41

Today, I made plans to go to three different party's all on the same day, one right after the other. I suffer from extreme social anxiety and I was too scared to turn down any invites, because I was afraid that people would think I was lame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 44

By Sad Size Queen - 06/01/2017 06:53

Today, I found out I have an uncontrollable fetish for huge penises. I also found out my vagina is too small to take one, no matter how stretched and prepared I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 61

By Anonymous - 06/01/2017 06:39

Today, some lady at work yelled at me in front of everyone calling me a dumb cashier because she went over budget and i didnt let her know she was going over budget. somehow its my fault.... yea ok then

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 10

By Stuck in hell - 06/01/2017 06:15

Today I am hiding in my bedroom while my ex that cheated on me for 2 years, then left me for that girl, is alseep on my couch and is snoring loud enough to be heard over my full blast tv, it was supposed to be a couple weeks after said girl dumped him....it's been 6 months...fml

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 80

By mommaG - 06/01/2017 05:46

Today, I was using my new cookware . I put it in the oven & it broke . Glass all in my oven . My child also found some shards of glass in the tenderloin when she bit in . FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 82

By Decisions - 06/01/2017 05:39

Today, my boyfriend of over four and a half years dumped me. Not even five hours later, I receive messages from him saying he wants to get back together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 16

By lily - 06/01/2017 05:15

Today, it was my birthday I planned a awesome sleepover party I invited 10 people 3 people came FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 13

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 129

Today, I found out how hard a lemon is to the nuts when being hurled by an angry girlfriend for losing at Wii Sports. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 577

You deserved it 5 071

Today, I went to my car to discover a note on the windshield from the city telling me that they had hit my car. On top of that note was a parking ticket, also from the city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 606

You deserved it 2 941

Today, I was the ring bearer at a wedding, something I'd been nervous about being ever since the groom asked me. As I was walking down the aisle, I tripped over nothing and the ring flew from the little silk pillow and rolled into a nearby pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 194

Today, I applied for a job at a local store. As I walked out the door, I heard the manager read it out loud and everybody else laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 537

You deserved it 2 697

Today, my boss bitched me out for doing some random web browsing while waiting for some documents I needed to arrive, then went back to his desk and went on Facebook, thinking I couldn't see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 848

You deserved it 5 474