Nearly FMLs

By Catielady - 12/10/2017 03:00

Today me and my boyfriend won $1000 on a scratch off. We went to the lottery office to cash it in and after they inputted my boyfriend's information they told us that silver he owed money to the state (from TEN YEARS AGO) that they were keeping the money. We get nothing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 20

By "shaddowpuppett" - 12/10/2017 02:31

Today my fiance told me he is no longer in love with me. I have been planning our wedding for about 6 months now.

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 5

By Kitty - 12/10/2017 01:46

Today my boyfriend and I were having sex while his brother and his girlfriend were gone.. turns out they were outside smoking and came inside right when we were finishing and almost saw us both naked.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 33

By notgoodenough - 11/10/2017 23:52

Today, I was written up for telling a temporary subordinate about a permanent position available in a different department. Apparently, the temp has been acting as the boss's PA and she doesn't want to lose him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 6

By I just wanted coffee - 11/10/2017 21:28

the police were at my door at 4:30 in the morning to say that I was banging on the wall and disturbing my neighbor. The only thing I did was make a cup of coffee and go back upstairs. Its such fun to be living next to a schizophrenic.

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 8

By copperless - 11/10/2017 21:16

Today, I returned home from vacation to find someone had stolen some copper pipe and wiring from under my house. My only neighbor lives half a mile away. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 5

By Cheesus - 11/10/2017 15:06 - New Zealand

Last week I lost my job as a cheese taste tester as I had a kidney stone and they needed someone to fill my spot. Yesterday I had the 25mm by 19mm Boulder removed only to find it was caused by milk products... My job made my lose my job... FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 6

By Kassie - 11/10/2017 20:01

Today, my husband of 7 years confessed he has been cheating for the last year. Now he wants to take a "break" to try things out with a man. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 3

By And that’s how that ended - 11/10/2017 19:55

Today, I was on a first date with a girl. Everything was going well, or so i thought. Just as I was about to tell her that I thought the date had gone pretty well, she told me “I think I’m into girls” FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 6

By notkawaii - 11/10/2017 11:49

Today my roommates sat me down and told me that when I poop I make noises that sound like "an anime girl orgasming" and asked me to try and keep it down. I didn't even know I made noise. I'm so embarrassed. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 16

By "What do I do?" - 11/10/2017 07:03

Today, I got dumped by the girl i have been dating. It has been a week since she told me she loves me. She needs to "sort out her feelings" now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 7

By guess im not enjoying my saturday - 10/10/2017 14:59 - United States - Somerville

Today, while at school someone hit me 3 times so i decided to hit them back. They complained to the principal, they didn't get a detention I did, despite having 3 people agree with my story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 10

By "Hallie Hammond" - 10/10/2017 09:52 - United States

I drove 21 miles to work, only to find there isn't work for me today and had to drive 21 miles back.... too the house where I just broke up my friends marriage because he is in love with me. fml

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 13

By Sue C - 10/10/2017 09:49

Today my boyfriend and I had a huge fight, we talked it out and had great make up sex. I started a load of laundry while he was in the shower and did not bother to check his pockets. The dryer is rattling and it's because I washed the keys to his new Mercedes. He's gonna be so pissed in the am FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 32

By "LoverWordsFood" - 09/10/2017 23:31 - United States - Dallas

Today, I found out after 10 years of marriage my husband really wants children and had been contemplating separating after a year and a half of thinking his options over. So much for growing old together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 14

By spookyplier - 10/10/2017 06:15

Today, it was my 10 month anniversary with my boyfriend, I excitedly told him "in two months it'll be a year :')", the reply I got was "Yeah, we'll see" FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 15

By neverhitcontrolv - 10/10/2017 04:21

Today I tried to send a video of a cute bunny to a friend I was trying to reconcile with. Accidentally sent her a screenshot of my porn tabs instead... FML

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 88

By Dracula - 10/10/2017 03:37

Today, my therapist looked at a piece of paper I had written on and said, "Oh, your handwriting is as bad as mine." It was an old English script I had been practicing and using for the past six years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 20

By OKCPARAMEDIC - 10/10/2017 03:01

This week my wife of 19 months tells me she was never really into me and that she is not sexually attracted to me. I married her, gave up Med-School, sold my motorcycle, guns, all to pay for her to have a surgery she needed to have. Now, I’m living in my truck til payday.

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 20

By "Kasey Papineau" - 10/10/2017 01:38

Today I got locked out of my apartment. It was in the country and my phone was dead. I tried to climb in my window, fell 12 feet, shattered my knee and leg. I lit a fire to signal for help. When that didnt work I crawled to the front of the building, broke in a window, and got help. 6 hours later.

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 8

By "Konarika" - 10/10/2017 01:20

Today, I was sexting with my long-distance boyfriend and as things got heated up, I asked him what he'd do if I walked into his room right now. His response was "Realistically, I'd ignore you because I'm studying for the midterm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 30

By joy412 - 09/10/2017 22:58

I had my boyfriend come jump my car after work so I can get home because I have a bad battery. I left the car running when he jumped it and now both of our batteries are fried and we’re stuck in the parking lot

I agree, your life sucks 25

You deserved it 62

By NotGoodEnough - 10/10/2017 07:06 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my ex husband announced he was dating again. We were together 10 years, broke up 2 weeks ago. The girl his dating? His drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 09/10/2017 10:19 - United States

Today, my 16 year old sister walked in on my boyfriend and I in bed. My boyfriend who is definitely not my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 249

By Crohnie - 09/10/2017 02:45 - United States - Longview

Today, I fainted then vomited in the shower. I'm already dealing with a Crohn's flare up and nerve damage from a bad blood draw. This was just the cherry on top. Oh, and I have a midterm tomorrow. Some deity hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 7

By no3mil - 09/10/2017 08:29

Today, my brother in law won 3 million dollars on a scratch off lottery ticket. That he stole from his job at a gas station. He is not eligible to claim the money.

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 57

By haleshaha - 09/10/2017 05:55

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a family gathering. It was at that moment he thought it would be funny to fake a proposal with a ring pop. Turns out my parents were in on it too. I’ve never felt so embarrassed...FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 4

By Gabo_1616 - 08/10/2017 17:12 - Mexico - Garza Garc?a

Some years ago I asked a friend to flirt with my girlfriend in order to know if she was faithful. They've been together for 3 years. They are getting married next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 125

By Anonymous - 08/10/2017 23:59

Today, I saw a guy with his car hood up and asked if he could use a hand. Looking at him closer, he had no left hand. Now I'm an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 7

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, a week after I quit smoking, I lit up again. Was it stress? Cravings? No. I haven't had a crap since I quit, and can't take this gut ache anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 189

Today, I had to rush to the airport to catch a flight to California for my sister's wedding. On my way out, my roommate gave me his neck pillow for comfort. Turns out the pillow was filled with weed, and I was arrested while going through security. I missed my sister's wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 763

You deserved it 533

Today, I found out why my boyfriend doesn't want me to get a full-time job, despite us needing the money. He's scared that I'll cheat on him with one of my coworkers, to get back at him for doing it a few years ago. I never knew he cheated on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 107

Today, I went on a date with a guy from Bumble. It was going well, with dinner and a walk on the waterfront, until he started complaining about skincare products, "People with eczema use that nasty cream, it's so sticky and smells horrible." I have severe eczema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 93

Today, I finally got the chance to meet this wonderful guy I met on a dating site. She was very excited to see me, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 934

You deserved it 5 606

Today, after my girlfriend continuously whined for hours about a specific burger place, I finally gave in and we drove nearly two hours to get there. Once in line, she looked at the menu, then decided everything had too many calories and wanted to go home. She doesn’t get why I’m pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 900

You deserved it 338