Nearly FMLs

By Aimé Elizabeth McKenzie - 06/10/2017 00:46

Today, I jokingly informed my girlfriend that she was mad at me because I'm smarter than her, and left to go to the store. I forgot my bag, went back to get it, realised 10 minutes later I'd also forgotten my purse. Real smart. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 55

By uninspiredaspirant - 05/10/2017 17:28 - United States - Irving

Today I was with an old lover and during the middle of it all he had a heart attack and died, they found drugs and now I have a felony.

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 9

By No left turn - 05/10/2017 16:38 - United States - Dunedin

Today my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me flowers but decided not to because he did not want to make a left turn, after we just talked about how no one has ever done anything romantic for me before.....FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 8

By anonymous - 05/10/2017 13:15 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, after years of my parents asking me when my husband and I are going to give them a grandchild, we told them that I'm pregnant. They told me to get an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 2

By Vettefan - 05/10/2017 20:50

Today I got fired from my job as a maintenance man for the apartments where my wife and I live. I was told I would not loose the apartment I’m renting. 4 hours later I get a letter under our door stating my lease is not being renewed and we need to move out ...FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 9

By haleshaha - 05/10/2017 19:23

Today, my university's 'secret admirer' page had a post about me saying how they wish they could tell me how they feel. I commented back to meet me at the local coffee shop this evening to talk it out. He is now my campus stalker. The word 'NO' clearly meant nothing...FML.

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 14

By "LittlemissCommunist" - 05/10/2017 13:57

I am spending the night at my cousin's for the first time, I was sleeping on her couch, I haven't wet the bed since I was 7, I wake up this morning before anyone else and for some unknown reason I pissed all over one half of her couch. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 10

By Cowgirl - 05/10/2017 03:08 - United States - Springfield

Today, thanks to a chronic illness that causes spontaneous fatigue, I fainted on my boyfriend while having sex. At least one of us thought it was funny. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 6

By Code_Monkey - 05/10/2017 06:50

Today, I ask my professor if he can help me figure out what I'm doing wrong in my project. We spend 1 hour and 15 minutes trying different things and looking at the answer key, and we get nothing accomplished. My project is due next week. The professor has no idea why my project won't work. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 04/10/2017 21:32 - Canada - Toronto

Yesterday I found out I got a fantastic new job and start in a month... today my current boss found out and laid me off starting today...fml

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 14

By HeidiZiggler - 05/10/2017 04:30

Today, I found out that my ex-boyfriend is my sister's secret sugar daddy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 561

You deserved it 243

By Secondwife - 05/10/2017 01:46

Today, the guy I love, who had a pregnant girlfriend, told me we can still be together, I can just be his backup girlfriend, for when his girlfriend is not around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 21

By Icantevenrightnow - 05/10/2017 00:29

Today, my boss (I work at good paying firm) told me that I was being promoted, I already turned in my resignation because I wasn't getting the credit for my work. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 19

By Caught - 05/10/2017 00:10

Today, I was watching porn on my mothers iPad when it died mid video, later she turned it on charged, and it went right to the site I was on. She later came into my room and asked how it went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23

You deserved it 92

By Rejected - 04/10/2017 23:07

Today I sent the guy I've been talking pretty seriously to a playlist basically telling him how I feel. About a hour later I noticed he left me on read, and then saw he blocked me on all social media. Eventually I look on his Spotify and he used my playlist as his own and gave it to his ex. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 6

By I hate life so much. - 04/10/2017 22:07

Today, I forgot my keys in a locker during school. Said locker was also jammed shut. So, I called my brother to go downstairs, since he’s the only one home. Didn’t respond to 2 calls. I’m currently waiting in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 10

By job search blues - 04/10/2017 21:06

Today, my job search is still going so horribly I can't even get a different position at the store I currently work at even though I'm more than qualified for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 5

By Ela - 04/10/2017 17:21 - France - Lille

Today, I still have no job. I moved town especially for a teaching job I was promised four months ago. No one will tell me what school I'm teaching at and they all tell me to ask someone else. Every. Day. I also just split up with my boyfriend of two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 04/10/2017 15:21

Today I fell down the stairs and was 2 hours late for work, my boss said it doesn't take that long to fall down stairs FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 14

By "Julia Parrick" - 04/10/2017 09:47

today I was going to the mall with my best friend we got there and there was a really cute guy he was smiling at me and I tripped my wig fell off and he walked away FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 21

By Dummy22 - 04/10/2017 07:58

Today I found out that my boyfriend of 4 years has been cheating on me with two different women. He has left me for one of them and is now living with her... oh and I'm 7 months pregnant with his baby. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 15

By dinodreads - 04/10/2017 11:23 - Australia

Today, my ex who I'm still deeply in love with came to visit, she's been travelling the country in a van. She also wanted to talk about how she's exploring polygamy and was proposed to by a guy nearly twice her age. She said 'yes' despite not believing in marriage. Heart broken all over again

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 14

Trapped!

By Anonymous - 03/10/2017 07:00 - United States - Canton

Today, I broke down in the sketchiest part of town while I was on my way to donate plasma in order to have money to fix my car. I just accepted a high-paying job 100 miles away but I won’t have money to fix my car until I start working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 007

You deserved it 249

By DuckMan - 03/10/2017 03:41 - Europe

Today, while working in a restaurant as a waiter, a family came to celebrate their daughter getting her degree in English literature. They were talking about her bright future. I have the same degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 10

By Shaitstorm - 03/10/2017 09:15

Today, I took a dump at a club. The toilet wouldn't flush so in panic I picked up the turd and threw it in the trash. With poo all over my hands I went to clean my hands. The dispenser was out of soap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 88

By najyeee - 03/10/2017 00:55

Today, I got my first Brazilian wax. Everything was going great right up to when she was ready to place the first strip, she then asked me “Can you pull this back a little?” Took me a while to figure out that she was talking about my stomach. I’m now sad and drowning in my own sorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 20

By Grossed Out - 02/10/2017 18:16 - United States - Scarborough

Today, whilst cleaning my apartment that my roommates can never seem to keep clean, I stumbled upon a dirty used vibrator with the condom still on it that has been up my roommate's ass. I grabbed it before I saw what it was. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 10

By Welpthathappened - 02/10/2017 18:50

I was at college and my school was hosting event. I went by myself until I saw this cute girl sitting alone. We talked for a bit and she even introduced me to her friends. I spent the rest of the party with her. Before leaving I gave her my number but I was so nervous I messed it up

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 19

By I'mThatLame - 02/10/2017 18:26

Today, I found out my boyfriend, the first relationship I've had, only asked me out for a bet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 9

By drunk duck - 02/10/2017 18:09

Today,I went to use my new $3000 computer to complete my security clearance forms for my new job only to find out that it's hard drive was fried during the last lightning storm fml

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 11

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I got my first tattoo. I felt good about it, until I told my mom, who was not happy. She responded by taking me out of her car insurance policy, family plan, and charging me for rent every month since I, "wanna be all grown up now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 715

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 677

You deserved it 25 615

Today, I went to get my midterm essay grade thinking I couldn't have made lower than a B. Got to class and my douchebag professor gave me an F. He wrote "Best essay I read, would've been an A if it was the right topic." I wrote on the Industrial Revolution, instead of the Scientific Revolution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 835

You deserved it 87 599

Today, while on the bus, I had to stand as all the seats were taken. I was standing behind a group of small girls who were messing around with their bags. As they were swinging them, one hit me square in the nuts with her elbow. The girl said, “Wise up, I hardly touched you.” I missed my stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 740

You deserved it 187

Today, I'm sharing an apartment in a foreign country with my soon-to-be ex. There are 6 months left on the contract, so we both decided to live here until then to save money. She earns enough to afford her own place. Me on the other hand… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 280

You deserved it 393

Today, my husband found my diary in which I talked about inviting another man into our bedroom. He left for a while and came back with a friend of his. My fantasy may become reality but I'm terrified what it will do to our relationship. I put them off for now, but I don't know what to do. He's all for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 2 081