Nearly FMLs

By "beccaboo_96" - 17/10/2017 06:55 - United States - San Antonio

Today, as I was working I ask my bf to get me some pads from home because I got my monthly he brings them in a brown bag & says here's lunch! I was busy & put it under the work counter after just 5 min my male boss finds the bag & opens it & starts asking who's pads out loud fml..

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 8

By Buddy - 17/10/2017 06:07

Today I went to the fair with a guy I like and had a great time. Though it wasn't a date I was feeling pretty confident about the day. As we were saying goodbye he called me "Buddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 8

By "ThrottleJockey" - 17/10/2017 05:46

Today, my wife and I were getting steamy in the bed. It wasn't until midway through that I realized her new nightshirt was a big Cookie Monster face. I couldn't finish and feel as though I've defiled a once-loved icon.FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 19

By kousagiii - 17/10/2017 05:20

After living abroad for two years, my brother and I are finally hanging out at one of our favorite climbing gyms. On the way there, my brother tells me a few of his friends are joining us. Normally I would be ok with this but, these friends turned out to be 2 of my ex’s and both ended badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 10

By Measure Twice Cut Once - 17/10/2017 04:10

Today, my girlfriend came home with a 48 inch fluorescent light bulb from the hardware store. I mentioned we needed a 24 inch bulb, to which she responds: "Just cut it in half then." ....FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 9

By diving_from_the_closet - 17/10/2017 03:13

Today, I was texting a friend about telling my slightly homophobic mom I'm bi. As a laugh, she sent a link to an online test, "just how gay are you," much to my amusement, I got a 3 on a scale from 1 (all heterosexual) to 7 (all homosexual), but I shared it to FB by mistake. Surprise mom, FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 20

By Bruce - 16/10/2017 22:47

Today, I shot myself in the tooth with a nail gun and it went right through the tooth and got stuck. My wife thinks I look like a startled narwhal and keeps trying to take my photograph while I sit in agony in the ER waiting room FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 32

By PolarPablo - 16/10/2017 19:07 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today I recorded a 25 minute video, only to realise I didn’t hit the record button!! FML!!

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 37

By MarriedSingleGuy - 16/10/2017 19:16

Today, it's been a year since my wife and I moved to our new house, and 3 months since she ordered a new king-sized bed. I still don't know what the bed feels like, but I have an awesome relationship with the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 999

You deserved it 865

Ghost563412 tells us more.

Ghost563412 3

Sunday 15 October 2017 5:47

OP here. To address some confusion: I don't sleep in the same bed (or room, for that matter) because I apparently snore like a rusty chainsaw. We moved into our new place a year ago with an old beat up bed, she ordered a new bed while I was out of state working 4 months ago now. To further clarify, I've napped in the bed once, and we do use it for purposes other than sleeping. However, she has to sleep in an ice cold room, and I can't have cold temperatures because I have an ear that is very sensitive to cold. So, no, there has been no cheating on either behalf, and we have spoken about this... we agreed that this arrangement is for the better especially because I am also a very active sleeper. I've been known to punch people when sleeping. I also made this FML when I was going through a depressive episode.

By Chris Rundell - 16/10/2017 17:02

Today I narrowing avoided a wreck but managed to spill my boiling hot chocolate in my lap.. it was at that moment I realized I wasn’t wearing pants. In the midst of reacting to the pain I let off the break and hit the car in front of me... it was a cop

I agree, your life sucks 21

You deserved it 44